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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH?

52 replies

Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 19:37

(Name changed as all the detail quite identifying) Would you be annoyed if you told your DH who was on a 3 day jolly in a European capital that you had tested positive for covid while looking after 3 kids, and after a “what” to the pic of test, completely ignored follow up text explaining how I tested after feeling like shot and also a phone call. I know this a is a UK site where covid testing is frowned upon but I was due in office for important senior meetings for 3 days at start of week, our work (not in uk) still has strict WFH for covid and it would go down like a cup of warm vomit if I went in coughing and sneezing and one of the VIPs then caught covid. The people he’s away with are very anti-covid but surely you would check in if the careminder for your kids said they were feeling awful? This was after messages I sent this morning with cute pics of the kids, a FaceTime from the kids and a cheery message asking an opinion on a dress were ignored for 4-6 hours (dress one still hasn’t been responded to). Might be influenced by this being one of 3 jollies he has had/will have in the space of 6 weeks (all pleasure, work trips are on top of that).
AIBU to be pissed off at this stage?

OP posts:
HeidiIou · 22/04/2023 19:44

I think YABU to be complaining about not getting responses quickly enough whilst hes away on holiday.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 22/04/2023 19:46

3 jollies in 6 weeks? On top of this? I would be a tad vexed too, in your position.

Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 19:47

Yes, I was wondering was that unreasonable. He absolutely lives with his phone though so it’s not that he wouldn’t have seen them - the response to the pic of covid test was instantaneous but no engagement thereafter. I think I would probably take the minute to even text you poor thing or something demonstrating an element of concern

OP posts:
Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 19:47

3 including this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 19:48

Actually “that’s crap, call you later” would have been sufficient.

OP posts:
HeidiIou · 22/04/2023 19:52

But isn't it similar to texting and saying you've got a cold. And if he read that and didn't reply immediately would you be fuming?

TomatoSandwiches · 22/04/2023 19:53

3 jollies in 6 weeks is a bit much and I'd be having a discussion about that, however what is he supposed to do?
I'd be quite annoyed at that level of messaging if I'm away although I would phone and check to see if you are OK.

BatsHaveButtcheeks · 22/04/2023 19:54

What is it you want from him? To come home? To send you sympathy messages?
Sorry you are unwell, but he can't physically do anything whilst he's away.
If I was away, and my husband was sending me lots of messages, including ones asking my opinion on clothing, I probably wouldn't respond to it either.

PaigeMatthews · 22/04/2023 19:55

TomatoSandwiches · 22/04/2023 19:53

3 jollies in 6 weeks is a bit much and I'd be having a discussion about that, however what is he supposed to do?
I'd be quite annoyed at that level of messaging if I'm away although I would phone and check to see if you are OK.

This.

even up the hollies and dont be a martyr but info not see what he could have done.

can you honestly not manage?

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 19:56

This was after messages I sent this morning with cute pics of the kids, a FaceTime from the kids and a cheery message asking an opinion on a dress were ignored for 4-6 hours (dress one still hasn’t been responded to)

so all of the above today

and now you e tested positive for covid and feel totally shit. That came on quickly.

spidey senses tell me you’re pissed he didn’t respond to messages today so now trying a different tactic ie it’s BS you have covid

Stellaroses · 22/04/2023 19:56

I think you’re overreacting personally. I wouldn’t want to be contacted so much whilst away and I think my partner would actually keep the covid news to himself until I was on my way home. What can he do about it?

3 trips recently - different issue - he is BU. But presumably you discussed and agreed to these trips?

JuneWind · 22/04/2023 19:57

If I were your husband I’d be annoyed you were sending me so many messages when I was on a holiday. I would sympathise with you feeling unwell but I wouldn’t leave my holiday for it.

If I were you, I’d be annoyed my husband was having 3 x breaks in 6 weeks. Unless you’re also having a similar number?

Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 19:57

@HeidiIou more like a flu - and he knew I was having blinding headaches earlier in the week. Yes I would expect to call if he said he was sick with the flu while looking after a 3 year old and 2 others and juggling a full time “big” job. I was in tears this morning thinking I just couldn’t cope with my life (got something stolen yesterday as forgot to bring a lock, forgot to pay something big, didn’t text friends in time to arrange company - luckily in retrospect…).

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 22/04/2023 19:59

If you weren't constantly pestering him with messages maybe he would reply when you did message him.

BatsHaveButtcheeks · 22/04/2023 20:00

So you're angling for him to come home?

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 20:00

I think you're sending him a lot of unnecessary messages while he's away on holiday. It comes across a bit "don't have too much fun, remember you have a wife and kids at home".

I'm sorry you're struggling though. It's crap to have to look after DC with no help when you're unwell.

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 20:01

and he knew I was having blinding headaches earlier in the week.

and no doubt what you’d had for breakfast that morning along with a pic and a question asking what he thought about your breakfast

Oldnproud · 22/04/2023 20:01

I guess from the texts and the cheery message you'd already sent him that morning about the dress, he deduced you weren't very ill at all. He could still have given you a quick call though, just to check!

Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 20:02

I don’t pester him - yesterday I texted him once (re the stolen item) and that was after 2 missed calls from him (was in work). He has rang today - mid-afternoon when I couldn’t speak to him, he spoke to the kids, but honestly a simple text would have sufficed. This guy is on his phone A LOT. Tbh I’m also feeling a bit sorry for myself and down. I thought it was perimenopause/just not being able to cope with our (v busy) life, so

OP posts:
Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 20:03

BatsHaveButtcheeks · 22/04/2023 20:00

So you're angling for him to come home?

Yho

he didn’t reply to earlier messages and so op wants to get her own back

I doubt she has covid and I suspect so does he

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 22/04/2023 20:03

I imagine from the constant texts he's figured you're not that bad to be on your phone constantly.

Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 20:03

the Covid isn’t all together terrible news. It’s a reason and it means I can WFH for those important meetings. I’m exhausted.

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2023 20:04

Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 20:02

I don’t pester him - yesterday I texted him once (re the stolen item) and that was after 2 missed calls from him (was in work). He has rang today - mid-afternoon when I couldn’t speak to him, he spoke to the kids, but honestly a simple text would have sufficed. This guy is on his phone A LOT. Tbh I’m also feeling a bit sorry for myself and down. I thought it was perimenopause/just not being able to cope with our (v busy) life, so

So he has been in touch, you just couldn't get to your phone and speak to him.

That's not really how you made things out in your OP.

cansu · 22/04/2023 20:04

tbh There is nothing he can do to help while away. I would not want to be pissing about commenting on dresses while I was away.

Original poster
Pissedoffandcovidy · 22/04/2023 20:05

He’s coming home tomorrow and has spent enough money on flights so no, not looking for him home early! Pretty evenly split as to whether IABU…I guess he felt harassed by the texts? He could also be pissed off because I let my eldest go to the shop alone

OP posts:
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