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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that social work is...

154 replies

lepricon · 22/04/2023 19:08

A calling? I am a newly qualified social worker. I have had soooo many people trying to scare me off it.

My first placement (third sector) I loved every minute. Thought it was a fluke and wait till I do statutory.

Did my second placement (statutory) absolutely fucking LOVED it! Feel so fulfilled, thrived from the stress. Thought it was a fluke and wait till I'm qualified.

Qualified for a year (statutory) and still loving it.

Have spoken to sooo many social workers that have left after qualifying as they hated it and it was so stressful.

Don't get me wrong, it's stressful but I'd be so bored if it wasn't and the work I get to do, the clients I get to build relationships with as well as professionals, I honestly love it.

AIBU to think that social work is either something you can do or something you can't? Love or hate? There doesn't seem to be an in between.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:01

You did say that those who have burned out, had to leave for MH reasons, stopped enjoying the job etc just didn't have the calling that you did. Every department is different and management, staffing levels (including the SW add on services such as family support etc), particular judges, even the police following procedure and CAFCASS/CPS etc make a huge difference. SWs used to have high divorce rates. I don't know if you've had to badly let a service user down because of time and budget constraints yet. Or you've took a critical look at your department and wonder who it serves. Nursing isn't a vocation, it's a job choice. There are some evil nurses and it goes down to not giving a shit, which is why so many sectors go into special measures and we've had the maternity scandals.

Easterfunbun · 23/04/2023 12:01

@lepricon

You haven’t really been very dignified yourself if people care to read the first few posts. You haven’t been attacked and you’re now trying to play the victim. Some of us just read between the lines instantly that’s all.

Red0 · 23/04/2023 12:01

@lepricon
👆“There's a certain way to say something that isn't so nasty”
“Posters are absolutely vile and say disgusting things in whichever manner they feel like”
Also @lepricon
“Your poor sister. Can't blame her with you as family”
”So why be so fucking miserable”

The use of the F word so regularly is used in what comes across as quite an aggressive manner, and also IMO makes you sound quite immature and uneducated.

newjobnewstartihope · 23/04/2023 12:01

Iminthemoneylife · 22/04/2023 19:10

I would say you come across as at best naive at worst arrogant and you should see what you think 10 years down the line.

Lol you don't think every newly qualified social worker felt like that 😂

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:04

Red0 · 23/04/2023 12:01

@lepricon
👆“There's a certain way to say something that isn't so nasty”
“Posters are absolutely vile and say disgusting things in whichever manner they feel like”
Also @lepricon
“Your poor sister. Can't blame her with you as family”
”So why be so fucking miserable”

The use of the F word so regularly is used in what comes across as quite an aggressive manner, and also IMO makes you sound quite immature and uneducated.

I'm certainly not uneducated. Also why are you flagging up only my posts? Why don't you put them in to context to the posts I was replying to?

OP posts:
Nottamug · 23/04/2023 12:06

@lepricon . I agree that some of the posters were horrible but a lot of us sent you positive posts …myself included.
Good luck with your career ,I genuinely wish you well .

Red0 · 23/04/2023 12:06

You SOUND uneducated when you speak in that manner, ie. fucking fucking fuck fuck.

Why am I only flagging your posts? Because you’re the original poster and the one with issue. Anyway I’m bored now, your posts have all demonstrated that I’ve cannot reason with stupid.

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:06

@Red0 why not flag this comment I made -

I pull my hair out daily. And I would never think that I'm better or more qualified than any other social worker. I wasn't even speaking about that, I don't think I'm immune to making mistakes.

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 23/04/2023 12:07

I think people are being very patronising to you OP!
It's great that you are passionate!

I'm a teacher and 15 years in.. I am LOVING teaching lately despite the workload demands!! So much so I've got an interview for a leadership role this week as I'm feeling so confident in my abilities!

I tend to be a positive person op so that helps and I'm sure you are similar from what you have posted!

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:08

@Red0 or this comment from a poster -

What shit you do talk OP. My sister is a children’s social worker, this job has almost broken her. Overworked, underpaid, huge responsibility, just like all her colleagues, the ones that are left that is. I don’t know where you’re swanning around but it sounds like cloud cuckoo land quite frankly.

And no you’re not better than others,it’s not a bloody calling. Get your head out of your arse

To which I replied 'with a sister like you no wonder'.

Wouldn't you agree she was very rude? And wouldn't you agree I am allowed to retaliate to a comment like that?

OP posts:
Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:09

Red0 · 23/04/2023 12:06

You SOUND uneducated when you speak in that manner, ie. fucking fucking fuck fuck.

Why am I only flagging your posts? Because you’re the original poster and the one with issue. Anyway I’m bored now, your posts have all demonstrated that I’ve cannot reason with stupid.

Yes you sound very educated name calling. Bye 😂

OP posts:
HarleyLane · 23/04/2023 12:13

coodawoodashooda · 22/04/2023 19:25

You said it better than me.

Show quote history

And the effectiveness is limited by Conservative cuts to local services meaning thresholds are raised beyond anything that should be acceptable for children.

almostwarm · 23/04/2023 12:19

The problem with social work saying is a vocation and you can either do it or you can't is that it places blame for structural problems on individuals.
Something that social work as a profession is meant to push back against.

Obviously not everyone would have the skills, interest or capacity to undertake social work.

However if the people who have expressed interest, been selected for training, successfully undertaken training and then sought work in the sector we need to consider seriously why retention is so low and why so many social workers have serious reservations about their profession.

Are they really all bitter old has beens who lacked the vocational spark? Or there there more serious structural issues which over the years take their toll on many.

Running on adrenaline is physically damaging after a time, the body does keep score. Seeing the impact of serious case reviews on colleagues even if you are lucky enough to avoid them. Years of picking the least worst option for very vulnerable and damaged children. Understanding that damaged people are damaging and sometimes your best simply isn't enough.
Watching sexual abusers walk free time after time. Having a head filled with hours of children describing their sexual abuse in detail. Going on to pleasantly shake their abusers hand as you sit sit down to have a meeting with them. Removing new born babies from mothers may need to be done but it isn't easy. Having no resources to support desperate parents who are doing everything they can to support their children.

Doing all of this with minimal supervision, a constant changing stream of managers, very little time for training. Understanding that if something does go wrong no one will support you and your life long career is gone.

I don't regret the time I spent in front line social work but I don't have the certainty that you do OP.

Cma1988 · 23/04/2023 12:20

I’m a social worker (children’s safeguarding) for 10 years. Yes, I suppose you are right in that it’s a calling, i am proud to be a social worker and I live some aspects of my job.

however, having experienced burnout, my mental health has suffered and i lost so many years of my prime (my 20s and early 30s) to a job that really doesn’t care about you, and always demands more and more, I have now decided to see it solely as a job. For the protection of my sanity. Some days I give my all to my clients/children/service users and some days I’m just there to get paid. Yeah, it sounds cold but I’ve given my job the best of me so often and my family and friends have always got what’s left, butn no, since having a year out for burnout a year and a half ago, I do things differently now. I’m so much more than a social worker.

sorry to be a cynic, but yeah, wait until you have 10 years under your belt

Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:21

lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:08

@Red0 or this comment from a poster -

What shit you do talk OP. My sister is a children’s social worker, this job has almost broken her. Overworked, underpaid, huge responsibility, just like all her colleagues, the ones that are left that is. I don’t know where you’re swanning around but it sounds like cloud cuckoo land quite frankly.

And no you’re not better than others,it’s not a bloody calling. Get your head out of your arse

To which I replied 'with a sister like you no wonder'.

Wouldn't you agree she was very rude? And wouldn't you agree I am allowed to retaliate to a comment like that?

You've said that unlike her sister, your job as a SW is a calling. Were is your empathy, your reflection? and to then blame her for her sister burning out in a tough job, is a strange thing for a SW to do. We usually don't finger point and attack.

Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:24

Just out of interest

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:24

@Ponoka7 I don't have empathy for that poster, why would I? Her sister, sure, but it's not her sister I'm speaking to and her comment was rude so I retaliated.

OP posts:
Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:25

Just because I'm a SW doesn't mean I'm a perfect person.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:25

Do you say this to colleagues, while on training, or your manager? Run it passed them.

Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:26

lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:24

@Ponoka7 I don't have empathy for that poster, why would I? Her sister, sure, but it's not her sister I'm speaking to and her comment was rude so I retaliated.

Then why blame her for her sister's burn out? Were is your empathy for other SWs?

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:26

Ponoka7 · 23/04/2023 12:25

Do you say this to colleagues, while on training, or your manager? Run it passed them.

Say what? That I'm enjoying my job? Yes of course.

OP posts:
WithyouFromDuskTilDawn · 23/04/2023 12:27

Iminthemoneylife · 22/04/2023 19:10

I would say you come across as at best naive at worst arrogant and you should see what you think 10 years down the line.

Some people cope fine and do like it. One of my closest friends and her sister have been social workers for 7 and 10 years and both say they wouldn’t want to do anything else.

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:28

@Ponoka7 if that's how she speaks to people that she disagrees with, then I can't imagine her to be a positive or very good support system for her sister.

OP posts:
Easterfunbun · 23/04/2023 12:37

@lepricon

No one on this Earth is perfect but you’re definitely lacking in reflective skills.

Original poster
lepricon · 23/04/2023 12:39

Easterfunbun · 23/04/2023 12:37

@lepricon

No one on this Earth is perfect but you’re definitely lacking in reflective skills.

Okay cool

OP posts: