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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that social work is...

154 replies

lepricon · 22/04/2023 19:08

A calling? I am a newly qualified social worker. I have had soooo many people trying to scare me off it.

My first placement (third sector) I loved every minute. Thought it was a fluke and wait till I do statutory.

Did my second placement (statutory) absolutely fucking LOVED it! Feel so fulfilled, thrived from the stress. Thought it was a fluke and wait till I'm qualified.

Qualified for a year (statutory) and still loving it.

Have spoken to sooo many social workers that have left after qualifying as they hated it and it was so stressful.

Don't get me wrong, it's stressful but I'd be so bored if it wasn't and the work I get to do, the clients I get to build relationships with as well as professionals, I honestly love it.

AIBU to think that social work is either something you can do or something you can't? Love or hate? There doesn't seem to be an in between.

OP posts:

tatteddear · 22/04/2023 21:24

I've just left after 22 years as a social worker. I loved the job and I also felt it was a vocation. I still think that a bit. But it broke me tbh. Not necessarily the job itself but the demands around it, the perception of it, the risk involved, the workload, the stress and the fear of getting something wrong and being scapegoated.

And there seems to be no likelihood of if it getting any better any time soon.

I wish you luck op. I hope it gets better and you can stay in the job you are so obviously dedicated to.

ladydimitrescu · 22/04/2023 21:25

I don't think there was anything wrong with your initial post, but your replies to people make it seem like you're nowhere near mature enough to be in this line of work.

rewilded · 22/04/2023 21:28

This has to be a hoax.

OP you have 99% of SWs telling you how they feel after years of service and you show no empathy.

I have worked in Health and Social Care for a few years now and it's plain to see how being a SW is probably one of the hardest jobs in our society - especially Children's Services.

I mean you only need to have and understanding of the world and the high profile cases on the news to understand the impossible situation/pressure of this profession.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 22/04/2023 21:31

Wow people on here are spectacularly rude about a woman who has the nerve to not hate her job.

Not every line of social work is child protection. And even the , not every case is serious case review level of work. Sometimes it’s about getting a woman out of a violent relationship. Or helping a parent who is an addict to recover and be a better parent to their child.

Weallgottachangesometime · 22/04/2023 21:32

Hats off to the posters who did 20-40+ years in social work. Anyone doing that work for that long should be knighted!!! What an achievement.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 22/04/2023 21:34

I feel sorry for families who have children’s service involved if some of you hateful and jaded people are in this line of work.

rewilded · 22/04/2023 21:36

How are they hateful and jaded?

Spck · 22/04/2023 21:38

What is the point in extinguishing enthusiasm in any job though? Once that’s gone there is only cynicism and people leaving.

thehappyhaggis · 22/04/2023 21:44

Your responses to people are interesting: your use of language and passive aggressive tone. Not necessarily the way I'd express myself as a qualified social worker on a public forum (given that we never get to switch off and have to uphold our values - such as treating people with dignity and respect - even when it's not reciprocated).

That aside, I wish you well. I admire your enthusiasm. I hope it's enough to carry you through. I felt the same way as you as a NQSW and genuinely hope you never lose it.

Anonymouseposter · 22/04/2023 21:46

Theobstinateheadstronggirl I don't see anyone hateful and jaded. I see people who have tried to do a good job for years and have come to realise that some situations are very complex and there's a lot of responsibility involved.
I think it's actually become more difficult as practical resources have become more limited. Statutory work is more stressful than working in voluntary agencies in general.
Of course there are times when a Social Worker can help people make real improvements in their life.
I found when working in Social Work the least effective Social Workers were people who thought they knew more than they did and tended towards arrogance. They did real harm.

daretodenim · 22/04/2023 21:46

Great that you love your work OP.

But if this is how you respond to a few negative comments on an anonymous forum, then, assuming you're genuinely a SW, try and hold onto that feeling for as long as possible. It's quite clear that you don't like people disagreeing with you and no doubt the longer you're in your job, especially with a higher caseload, the more of that you'll encounter.

That sounds backhanded, but that's not the intention. You're very reactive and touchy with anybody who doesn't sing your praises on this thread. And you're in one of the most socially thankless jobs out there.

Nottamug · 22/04/2023 21:50

OP you haven’t responded to recent replies! When you do ,try and be less passive aggressive and actually engage in conversation.

rewilded · 22/04/2023 21:53

I found when working in Social Work the least effective Social Workers were people who thought they knew more than they did and tended towards arrogance. They did real harm

Couldn't agree more. I mean you don't hear many Doctors saying they thrive off stress - It is an odd thing to say.

tiredpuppymum · 22/04/2023 21:53

You sound naive, immature, and you lack self awareness.

Closetbeanmuncher · 22/04/2023 21:54

So do you all just hope that I fail and burn out then

I don’t think anyone is saying that. What they’re saying is come back and tell us if that level of stress and frustration makes you energised and productive after five years.

SpringNTing · 22/04/2023 21:57

its a fantastic job in many ways, but many many social workers - brilliant ones, ones who loved their job - burn out and leave the profession.

Unreasonable caseloads can burn out the best of people.

Jenala · 22/04/2023 21:59

Hi OP, I've been a social worker for 10 years. Several different teams, some awful, some great. It's hard job but in my current role I still have quite a lot of days where I feel really good about the work I'm doing and a sense of making a (very) small difference. Other days I fucking hate it 😂

I think it's brilliant that you are enjoying it at the moment, and to be honest I feel like the replies to your thread capture really nicely a common and toxic part of social work: that part of the role seems to be an almost competitive level of misery. Don't get me wrong, I know that side of it and it's real, I've been signed off with stress in the past, and sobbed over job applications in my desperation to move teams. But there is definitely a culture of people bringing each other down talking about the very worst parts of the job. I've sat there in team meetings and you can see the spiralling happening, and everyone feeling worse as conversations go on.

I do think child protection work, which I did the first few years, is a different beast entirely to the adults work, even when assessing capacity etc. So maybe you've hit a nerve there, because your role is very different. But I think it's great you're happy and hopefully your enthusiasm spills over into positive outcomes for your clients. I don't know why other social workers want to come in with all this 'just you wait' stuff. We should be glad if someone is making it work and enjoying the job. It's a good thing.

Red0 · 22/04/2023 21:59

She likes the F word doesn’t she?!

Felixss · 22/04/2023 21:59

I know what you mean, do you have inattentive adhd by any chance op? I have it and I can't do a normal desk job. I do a job most people would hate. It's adrenaline filled and I thrive on it.

TopSocialWorker · 22/04/2023 22:02

Good for you OP, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I’ve been a social worker for 35 years. I currently work in a very specialist and senior role and earn a brilliant salary. Over the years I’ve had some awful jobs but mostly it’s been a great career. I feel very privileged to have worked so closely with people during difficult times. I’ve net some amazing people and I really feel I’ve made a difference, saved lives even. The work is never boring and you can be really creative. I have ADHD and am very good in a crisis so it suits me well. Social workers have seen everything! They are unshockable and the vast majority are completely unjudgemental-they are the best people!

Felixss · 22/04/2023 22:04

TopSocialWorker · 22/04/2023 22:02

This is me I need excitement, I'm not a social worker but I wouldn't get out of bed if it was a job doing accounts.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 22/04/2023 22:07

rewilded · 22/04/2023 21:36

How are they hateful and jaded?

Being extremely rude to the enthusiastic OP and declaring it’s a doomed and awful way to live

faffadoodledo · 22/04/2023 22:08

You g friend of mine has just started training abs so far loves it. She's under no illusions tho that her career might only last 5 years.
Personally I love your enthusiasm OP. I hope you hang on to it.

Keha · 22/04/2023 22:12

What sort of social work do you do OP?

Lougle · 22/04/2023 22:16

It doesn't matter how exciting it is. It shouldn't be described in those terms. Every person a social worker is in contact with is in a time of need. They often wouldn't choose to have a SW in their lives. It could be the worst period of their lives. If there is an adrenaline filled situation, that means there is a crisis of some sort. Their crisis is not your entertainment.

I was an ICU nurse. You can't do ICU nursing if you can't cope with pressure, high-adrenaline situations, a fast paced environment, etc. It would be really inappropriate to go home and say 'I had an awesome day today, someone nearly died 😀'.

If you work with people in life changing situations, there will be cases that keep you up at night. They are real people.

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