To feel guilty about my cat?

[lepricon]

I have had my two cats for 3 years and I love them both very much. Around 1 year ago, I got two chihuahua pups. My cats didn't go near them for a while but they did get used to one. One of the cats play with them and the other, although used to them, always kept his distance. They're both outdoor cats and so like to wander but they always came back.

2 months ago I got a call from my vet to say a lady had brought one of my cats in and said my cat had been going to her house daily for the past 10 months and she was giving him a little food and had set up a bed for him. She brought him to my vet to see if he was a stray. My vet knew him and he is microchipped so confirmed that he was from a loving home. My vet gave me the women's number.

I contacted the woman who lives in the same estate from me, she was very nice and said that she would stop feeding him, however stated that she and her granddaughter had grown very attached to him.

I had no idea he was going elsewhere and getting fed as he would still come home and eat and lie on the sofa etc.

However, I now haven't seen him in a month. I texted the woman who says he still goes to her house daily morning and evening but she assumed he was going home the rest of the time. I struggle to believe she isn't feeding him but what can you do, I'm glad she's being kind to him.

So I know he is alive but I miss him, my daughter misses him and I feel so guilty and believe that getting the dogs has triggered him to leave. I worry that he'll think we've just forgotten about him. I could go and bring him back but he's an outdoor cat so he could just leave again.

What should I do in this situation? Should I go looking for him and bring him back? Or should I just be thankful that he is being cared for elsewhere?

I can see why you are sad but I think you have to respect that your household doesn't suit the cat.

Please ensure you do handover his care though - I've seen too many people 'take in' cats and then all of a sudden when they need vet care they claim they aren't the owners.

This is so sad, OP! I hope you're ok I really feel for you.

@mainsfed agreed, it’s just projection to say otherwise

Totally disagree. My cat hates all people and would never settle with anyone else.

Not sure I would trust this woman to have the best interests of the cat at heart, given the way she’s “acquired” it, particularly relating to vet bills later on. I would say if the cat is really not happy with you you should take it to a rescue so they can find a safe loving home for it without dogs.

You can disagree - that's fine.

The OPs cat clearly has settled with someone else as did mine.

Safe to say, they were not particularly bothered.

Cats are known to be territorial and get upset when forced to share their space. Unfortunately you bringing two dogs into your cat's home was not something he liked. I agree with others that you should let him go, it doesn't seem right to force a cat that is clearly unhappy to stay just becuase you wanted more pets.

Cats choose where they live.

My Dad lost his cats a while ago and a neighbours cat visits him all the time, sometimes stays for days (uses his cat flap) The neighbours have 3 young boys and basically whenever the kids aren’t at school the cat is at my Dads. It clearly wants the peace and quiet.

It’s well loved by the family and my Dad, my Dad isn’t going to steal it and the cat always goes home at some point. As the kids grow up I expect the cat will need my Dad less. But their garden is full of football and their house noisy games so understandably the cat is looking for a quite lap or garden for a good snooze and my Dad, in his 70’s is a perfect companion.

The cat isn’t scared of children BTW, if we visit it’s happy to sit with my preschooler and have strokes but doesn’t stay when we are there.

There’s no harm in them having multiple homes.

When I was little we had a former stray, if we were ever away he’d move in to the other neighbours house that fed him when he was homeless. No loyalty- we’d only have got down the road and he’d have settled on their bed and he’d stay with them until we came back. In the end we stopped arranging for him to be fed at ours and the neighbour fed him at hers.

You can’t make them stay with you if they don’t want to.