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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel too old?

31 replies

FingerprintSheep · 22/04/2023 16:43

I’m mid-30s. Became a mum a few years ago and have been neglecting myself ever since. I want to smarten myself up, look a little sexier and classier than I currently do wearing my husbands massively over side clothes and greasy hair shoved up.

The other day I grabbed the only hair tie I could which randomly had a black bow on it and stuck it in my freshly washed hair - I loved how it looked. I’ve been looking at little bits like flowers for my hair etc, but a friend said I’m too old for those things, they’re for young girls at festivals in denim shorts and wellies. I know I should say ‘fuck it’ and do what I want but I also don’t have a lot of confidence any more and don’t want to look immature and daft. I’ve no idea where to start with myself and this was a sort of start of being nice to myself with my looks, but now I have gone back to my husbands jumper and scraped back hair.

How do you give yourself a bit of a style revival when you have no idea where to start and all the fashionable stuff is aimed at younger women? Do us women get to a point where we’re just a bit too old? I didn’t feel like this before having a child, why does society make you feel past it once you’ve got a kid? Or is it just in my head?

OP posts:
Pavlova31 · 22/04/2023 17:01

Apart from the large flowered headbands favoured by the 20 somethings - No.
There are so many less flamboyant but stylish head bands , barrettes and clips to experiment with. I love wearing them !

Mabelface · 22/04/2023 17:25

Your friend isn't very nice! I'm 53 and wear bows and scarves. I love them, they make me feel good and I don't give a fuck what other people think. Wear what makes you feel good. That's the important thing. The only thing you shouldn't wear at any age is the weight of other's opinions.

OlympicProcrastinator · 22/04/2023 17:25

The best idea to make yourself feel better is ditch friends who tell you you are too old to wear something that you feel good in.

Then carry on wearing things that make you feel good while getting new friends.

Hubblebubble · 22/04/2023 17:55

Check out pintrest if you want to experiment with different styles and do what makes you feel happy.

Coffeellama · 22/04/2023 17:58

First step is to ditch people who make you feel bad about yourself, I.e the friend! Then wear what you want. It doesn’t have to be one extreme or the other though, you can wash your hair and not wear bows, buy yourself your own jumpers that don’t have flowers on if you’d rather. Just keep making little steps and start shedding those who don’t help.

StopStartStop · 22/04/2023 17:59

Wear what the heck you want. Does it suit you? Do you feel happy in it? Wear it, that's your style.

sweetbutpsychooo · 22/04/2023 18:00

I'm 34 and wear scrunchies and bows to work - I have all colours and styles. Mid 30s isn't old!

PollyAmour · 22/04/2023 18:01

Ignore your ridiculous friend and wear whatever brings you joy. You are never too old to wear flowers in your hair.

Farmageddon · 22/04/2023 18:06

Wear what makes you feel good OP, don't listen to someone else's silly rules. I agree your 30's is a weird age, I sometimes wonder if I can get away with ripped jeans and converse anymore, but don't really suit blouses and more 'grown up' styles.

Plus I often see women of all ages wearing great stuff, the trick is they wear things that fit well, and suits their shape.

ChickenDhansak82 · 22/04/2023 18:07

I wouldn't be friends with anyone who said something like that to me! What a cow!

I'm in my early 40s and couldn't care less what people think. I don't wear a lot of make-up, but I do kick boxing so spend a lot of time in sports stuff! I'm completely comfortable with how I look and wear what is comfortable or what I like!

Beezknees · 22/04/2023 18:24

I'm 33 and I wear whatever I like. I like crop tops with high waisted jeans, dungrarees, Doc Martens, pinafore dresses. I don't care if people think I'm too old for them.

Youcunnyfunt · 22/04/2023 18:44

You only live once. Wear whatever you like! I’ve seen people of all ages wearing bows and flowers, barrettes particularly are worn by old ladies. I’m not a massive fan of pigtails, but that’s because my hair is super thick. I still wear plaits - dutch pigtails and french braids etc. I’m mid30s too. Just wear whatever suits you!

ifancyajamdonut · 22/04/2023 18:49

I'm old enough to be your mum/gran and I've had bright blue hair for god knows how many years now. I'll still be at the hair dressers having it done when I'm 85 because I like it and really don't give a duck what anybody else thinks about me or my look. None of their business.

Octopus45 · 08/06/2023 13:14

@ifancyajamdonut love it, I have blue hair too

Comedycook · 08/06/2023 13:21

No...wear what you want.

By the way, why are you wearing your husband's clothes? Genuine question... don't you have any stuff of your own?

HarlanPepper · 08/06/2023 13:23

Wear what you bloody well want. That is the only fashion advice anyone needs.

Funkyslippers · 08/06/2023 13:29

Wear what you like! I'm 50 this year and I find a fake tan and summer clothes very flattering! I also had my grey hair highlighted which is a massive confidence boost. I'd love to be 32 again. Your still a baby 😊

Funkyslippers · 08/06/2023 13:30
  • you're 😊
TimeForTeaAndG · 08/06/2023 13:36

Farmageddon · 22/04/2023 18:06

Wear what makes you feel good OP, don't listen to someone else's silly rules. I agree your 30's is a weird age, I sometimes wonder if I can get away with ripped jeans and converse anymore, but don't really suit blouses and more 'grown up' styles.

Plus I often see women of all ages wearing great stuff, the trick is they wear things that fit well, and suits their shape.

Well I'm 42 and still kicking about in ripped jeans, vans or docs, and a hoodie.

OP, what did you used to wear? Sometimes it helps to go back to a previous style (it might mean some new clothes if your body has changed since pregnancy) and then go from there. Give us an idea of what you like and I'm sure you'll get some helpful site links and ideas.

Cotswoldmama · 08/06/2023 13:39

Wear what you like! I'm 39 and I generally like following fashion but try to chose things that suit my shape, I sometimes worry I look like I'm trying to look younger, so a bit muttony but life's too short! I enjoy fashion and it makes me happy and feel good!

Summerpetal · 08/06/2023 13:55

Try being in your 50s with no idea on what style u want and still have long hair .
im having a major crisis in confidence clothes wise ..
but I was the same in my 30s too .I think I’ve just never found my style

Summerpetal · 08/06/2023 13:58

Sorry pressed send to soon
but nothing wrong with festival style ,if u like that type of style ,you would probably like joe browns ..it’s all festival and flows .
fashion world and simply be have some in the sale

AffIt · 08/06/2023 14:01

I'm 44. I have a dress with dinosaurs on it, one with foxes, a pair of trainers with tigers on them. I've just bought a lovely grey sweatshirt with a multi-coloured confetti pattern which I intend wearing with some very short navy shorts at the weekend.

I've also got long, naturally curly hair that falls in ringlets halfway down my back, which I wear with great pride (and treat like a pampered pet).

I love my style and I couldn't give two shiny shits what anybody else thinks.

gardenweed · 08/06/2023 14:02

Wear what you want and everyone else can sod off with their ageism. I notice Michaela Strachan was wearing her hair in plaits the other day and she looks great. She's 57.