Children should be encouraged to stay in sport?

[pontipinemum]

I'm not saying 'everyone gets a medal' sort of situation. But everything should be done to encourage kids to stay in sport, I think the stat's for girls are even worse.

I am just remembering back to when I stopped going to a proper running/ athletics club, it was a really good club with several people that either made team GB or got well on at national level. The coach left a voice mail on our landline that I heard. I was 13yrs old. She said something along the lines of 'pontipine is useless, she will never win anything, she is too slow." it was a very nasty message.

Apparently the coach thought I was talking about her behind her back or that's what I heard from someone else anyway. I didn't talk about her behind her back!

I never went back I was too embarrassed. I knew I was never going to be amazing but I was OK and I enjoyed it. Now I am not saying that event changed the trajectory of my life but I never went back to running

YABU - If kids are bad tell them
YANBU - Encourage them to keep it up regardless

It's difficult, but a certain amount of "tough love" is needed. Both my niece and nephew were "conned" into thinking they were going to make it big in sport, which in a way is good to incentivise and encourage them, but they became obsessed with the idea that they didn't put effort into anything else, so their school work suffered because they didn't see the point in qualifications because they were going to be the next David Beckham and Paula Radcliffe, and yes, they really did believe that, aided and abetted by their sports coaches! Both are now "grown up" and both in dead end minimum wage jobs because neither made the grade in the end. Both wish they'd not been "conned" into thinking they'd make it big as they'd have explored other career/future options. The real shame is that neither carried on their respective sports, not even at amateur level, as they were so disillusioned after so many rejections/failures at trials etc.

I'm all for encouraging sport and fitness, but I do think we need to do more for the ones who aren't going to be sports stars, the ones who just want to do sport for fun or at an amateur level. Particularly in schools, team sports in particular, are aimed at the sporty kids and everyone else is just left to tag along, often ridiculed, etc. By all means identify and nurture the genuine talent, but also be realistic with expectations, point out the pitfalls of the competitive nature of even getting trials, let alone selected, and hammer home the need for a "Plan B", but even moreso, encourage and develop sports for "fun", i.e. for the 99% not just the 1%.

I don't think there's enough sports classes aimed at just having fun and getting fit.

It seems to all be about matches, competitions and performances - but not all children will make that level and they won't all want to either.

I don't think there's any benefit in forcing a child along to classes that they don't enjoy or where they're struggling, but unfortunately there often isn't any alternative. It's almost like if you're not good enough to compete then the door gets firmly closed on you.

I agree with the above poster, perhaps there could be more about fitness and enjoyment, rather than competition. I was not very good at sport, so there really was nothing for me, it is shame there was not more focus on just doing something for exercise and for fun.

Agree

Eavesdroppers never hear anything nice OP! It wasn’t the coaches’ job to make you be fit.

Agree needs to more sport for fun rather than exercise. My child goes to swimming fitness sessions which are for non competitive teens who want to swim for fitness with no emphasis on timing them. But it’s really hard to find this sort of thing. Everything has to be competitive and selective as teens.

It would be great if schools had the facilities, time and money to allow them to provide more unusual sports for children to try.

Weve recently found a sport DD enjoys. Shes very slight, currently shorter than her peers (as she hasn't started puberty like many of them) and isn't particularly coordinated or fast. But she can climb like a monkey. She's loving her trips to the climbing wall (proper one, not a fun one). Its not overly expensive either... its £5 a time as DH belays for her.

Yes, children should be encouraged. Part of it should be seeking to remove the barriers real or perceived that there are. For example, having dark coloured shorts or tracksuit bottoms as the norm for women and girls.

Absolutely more focus on sport/activities for fun. Read up on what Iceland did to reduce their teenage alcohol issues.

DS's sport (sailing) is really good at this. There is a very clear pathway to Olympic glory. All you have to do is stuff your child into the British Sailing machine at one end, buy them a f*ck-tonne of equipment and, if they are good enough, they will pop out as an Olympic sailor at the other end. However, there is emphasis all along the way about all the other ways to enjoy sailing- these are not presented as 'lesser' routes. Coming out of 'The Pathway' into one of the many other realms of the sport does not feel like a bad thing at all. I'm sure many, many of the kids who start at the bottom of the pathway continue sailing after they leave it. I'm not sure you could say that for all youth sport set-ups.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts I agree! Sport needs to be sociable and fun for most children. Most children will not be a competitive sports man/woman when they are teens/adults. But ALL children will benefit from regular sport, progressing their skills, working as a team (in some sports), making friends, learning discipline etc.

My dc are are at an independent school and they have 4 games lessons a week. Sport is taken very seriously. They do sport outside school too. They are NOT going to be professional sportspeople but they enjoy it, it’s fun and they enjoy getting better and feeling strong and fit.

If they were at a state school with less structure games, I’d probably sign them up for more park runs, playing tennis/cricket with friends/in local clubs etc to fill that gap.

I don't think you should tell your kids they are going to the Olympics if they just aren't but I think there should be clubs that focus more on movement for fun rather than competition.

As an adult I am trying to find a love for exercise but it very difficult because I only associate it as humiliation and punishment for eating too much.

Agree with this. Both DDs were in swim club and loved it, but as they got older it became all about winning. My two were slow swimmers and the focus of the club became all wrong for them - several sessions a week, early morning starts, driving all over town for pool time... An alternative swim option would have been nice, but there just wasn't one.

Yes, children should be encouraged to take part in sport. If they have had enough of their main sport and want try another one they should be able to do that too. Quite often parents social lives get wrapped up in the sport too and it is difficult to disentangle yourself.

No, they should not be encouraged to train on an elite type programme if its unlikely they'll make it. High level training takes it out on the child and their family ie swimming 10 x a week with 6am morning swims, gymnastics or ballet twice a day etc, unless you are a prodigy it's unnecessary pressure.

Staying in sport through the teen years is primarily down to parenting IME.

I think we need to change the idea in schools that exercise has to be in the form of organised sports. I was never naturally talented at sports - not much co ordination, bit overweight, not good with balls etc. Therefore I didnt get much exercise on sports lessons because I would just skulk about at the back trying not to get the ball passed to me. But I really enjoyed the odd days of P.E. lessons where they would just take us out for a run in the woods near the school, or sometimes they brought in a boxercise teacher or a dance teacher for a "one off" type lesson, and I absolutely loved that. I was very happy to exercise, but not to play organised sport. I think there should be choices for children in school - team sports or just an hour of aerobics to music, or running, or something that doesn't involve skill but is fun and gets the heart pumping.

Peer influence is a lot stronger though.

Wow, wonder what did you overhear that made you such a bitch?

Some swimming clubs have the “I use to compete but now I just don’t want to get fat squads” these are normally some of the busiest squads.

There are lots of gym sessions and activities available for teenagers in local leisure centres.
But often these rely on parents being able to get them to and from.

And having the funds. It's £4.50 (pp) so £9.00 for my two to use the gym and pool, fuel to get them there and car parking. I have just started doing the 0-5K and dc join me on my weekend run!

I don't think you should tell your kids they are going to the Olympics if they just aren't but I think there should be clubs that focus more on movement for fun rather than competition

I agree, all children, but especially girls, who seem to have a higher drop out rate, should be encouraged to do sport well into their teens.

The biggest problem is finding clubs that focus on fun rather than competition. Many clubs (football, cricket, netball etc) rely on volunteers, and there just aren't enough volunteers to run both competitive and fun clubs. Until more people step up to run things, this won't change.

Otherwise, I do think it is very much down to parents/peers. There aren't many clubs that do 'just for fun' sessions near us, but we do have park run, a good swimming pool, lots of gyms etc, and several martial arts clubs. But most team sports are definitely run at a competitive level. Until adult age, when there's a cricket club and a 6-a-side football group that operate at an 'any skill level welcome' level.

I didn't eavesdrop, she left the message on out house voice mail, it was circa 2002 so lots of people still had landlines. No it wasn't her job to get me fit. But I don't really think a voicemail to a 13 yr old telling them how shit of a runner and person they were was very nice either.

I was never going to be team GB, I never had had delusions I would be! But I was winning some medals, and wasn't brutal.

The whole high level/competitive sport thing is just non-sense. Especially for girls.

The whole competitive sport scene is unfortunately part of the men-led and men-orientated world we live in. In womens world there would be more exercise for fun type of thing.

True Katepilar, it's hierarchical and should be one of many ways to engage with sports and exercise. Competitions works for some but there is always a winner and many losers. We need more collaborative and inclusive ways to teach children about keeping fit and healthy.