Children should be encouraged to stay in sport?

[pontipinemum]

I'm not saying 'everyone gets a medal' sort of situation. But everything should be done to encourage kids to stay in sport, I think the stat's for girls are even worse.

I am just remembering back to when I stopped going to a proper running/ athletics club, it was a really good club with several people that either made team GB or got well on at national level. The coach left a voice mail on our landline that I heard. I was 13yrs old. She said something along the lines of 'pontipine is useless, she will never win anything, she is too slow." it was a very nasty message.

Apparently the coach thought I was talking about her behind her back or that's what I heard from someone else anyway. I didn't talk about her behind her back!

I never went back I was too embarrassed. I knew I was never going to be amazing but I was OK and I enjoyed it. Now I am not saying that event changed the trajectory of my life but I never went back to running

YABU - If kids are bad tell them
YANBU - Encourage them to keep it up regardless

Strongly agree, and also strongly believe that there should be better access to a wider range of sports. At school, the main sports favour the tall, the strong, and the fast, and my kids are small, and bendy, and agile. They’re the last to be picked for netball or hockey or athletics, and if they’d only had access to school sports they’d think themselves terrible at sport. Fortunately, we could take them to various clubs and they became national medalists in gymnastics and martial arts. Finding something you like, where you have fun with people who share your interests, and where you can achieve something - learn a dance routine/take part in a show/improve flexibility or stamina, etc. filters through to all other areas of someone’s life. It’s great for confidence, making friends, and building resilience.

Dare I say it it's often parents who are the problem not the children?
Ive 4 boys who have played a variety of sports and are mid-ability. Especially at primary level there is a lot of bragging amongst parents about "county trials" " future Olympic talent" and trials for various football teams. Generally the children want to play with their friends and have a good time.

But parents want to see a return for the pounds and time they put in.... And so when they are the sub rather than the star player, the children start to think the are no good at it or there is no point. And then unsurprisingly they give up.
We as parents need to be better role models. Concentrate on the joy of doing something active with friends and not give a fuck if you're first or last. If you win, great, if not did you enjoy yourself anyway. Because, let's be honest, the most important thing is gaining skills which you can continue to enjoy as you get older... Being able to play a game of tennis socially or join a pub 5 a side team rather than winning Wimbledon or playing for spurs.

The bigger problem is the lower/middle level of ability rather than the ones being "pushed" who are generally at the better end of the ability scale. I'm not saying there's isn't a problem with what you say, but the less able kids are the ones who get bullied, try to avoid sports, etc., because they're always outshadowed by the ones who can play well and who don't want the "lesser" able kids in their teams.

Tennis is a sport that has lost its fun side. The kids all get coached intensively from age 4 round here so if you decide around 10-12 that you'd quite like to play, and then you see all these amazing beautifully coached players, its a bit too intimidating. Anyway this is what happened to us so tennis was a write off. such a shame.

I think the question you asked in the title, is very different from the situation you are asking us to comment on in your opening post.

Do you think children should be encouraged to stay in sport?

Yes, for all the reasons people have already said.
Fitness, mental health, learning to cope with winning/ losing / persevering, friendships outside of school and so forth.

Was that a good way for your coach to break the news to you / your family that you weren't going to make the grade at that elite level ?

No, obviously not

Should top clubs pretend that dc that aren't at that level, have a chance when they just aren't good enough for that level?

No.
Sport is a wonderful thing that you can do at so many levels. It is FAR better to be playing / running / competing regularly against people of a similar level to you, than being beaten by ridiculous times / scores / distance, or even than winning by ridiculous margins.

YABU - If kids are bad tell them
YANBU - Encourage them to keep it up regardless

But these are not the right options. If kids are enjoying the sport, encourage them to keep going. If they aren’t, let them stop. It doesn’t really matter how good they are.

Is school PE still as dire as it used to be?

I remember at my school it was always shitty team sports like rounders or hockey and the teachers would only ever choose the “sporty” kids to be captains so it was just the mean kids choosing their friends. The utter humiliation of being picked last every single week for years on end was relentless.

every now and then they would offer to let us do something like yoga or the gym or dance but nothing ever came of it.

for a year solid we did trampolining. By which I mean there were two trampolines for 35 kids. So we stood next to a trampoline. And the teacher again literally only taught the sporty kids so the rest of us did one jump and that was it. I remember figuring out very quickly if I got changed into my PE kit I wouldn’t have to do the actual lesson because the PE teacher hadn’t noticed….

left to my own devices I was always happy to do things like aerobic videos. I signed up for a gym at 16 and took myself off to Pilates classes at the local leisure centre.

these days, surely with the classes online from joe wicks etc surely there’s more options to focus on fitness and exercise and health rather than competitive sport in schools?

If it was more acceptable for kids to be able to just enjoy sport for the sake of it then I think a lot more would keep doing it.

Agree! I enjoy playing sports as a kid but the competitiveness was always off-putting, especially when you’re just learning the sport or the more sporty , competitive people take over what is meant to be a casual game. The adults sometimes are even worse.

I started playing competitive tennis after very little formal coaching at 14yo. Yes, almost everyone else had had intensive coaching. I had no style but got every ball back.
This was actually an advantage because they all played with the current fad which was chopper grip, top spin front and backhand, so my unconventional style threw them more than it should do. 🤣

What I do think is that it's become big business. When I was little you'd pay £2 for an hour group coaching. Now at our club I believe it's around £12.
There can be 20 children on the court for one coach, and in my experience, unless they're already at a high standard and the group on court are at a similar level, then more than 2-3 on the court and coaching is very little better than them going down and having a game together assuming they can hit the ball over the net. It's certainly far worse than an adult going down and hitting one to one with them, or even taking a bucket of balls and throwing them for the child to hit back.
However, rather sneakily, the coach has every court booked after school every day until 6:30-when adult matches start and have most of the courts taken. So when I wanted to take dc down to play, if they wanted to play after school they had to join the coaching, and between coaching/adult social/matches there's very little time at the weekends either. Having been past a number of times and seen that there was spare court(s) during the after school coaching I find this particularly irritating.

I was an obese teenager and had a horrid time being bullied during team sports, always the last to be picked, etc.

In the fourth year (now year 10), I finally got a sympathetic games teachers. First half term, I was in the group who went to do swimming by bus to a nearby school. I asked her if I could continue doing that for the second half term as it was something I could do and not be bullied - I was delighted she agreed and I did swimming the entire year! Some teachers are actually helpful and can see the bigger picture!

Much of the reason why kids stop doing sport is because of the cost and lack of opportunity, particularly the cost of appropriate clothing and sports bras for girls, and also because of bullying.

When kids are humiliated by team sports they quit as soon as possible. When they’re bullied for not being good enough and “letting down the team” they quit. When they’re picked on for not having the “right” trainers they quit. When they’re picked on for their weight they quit. When girls are picked on for their boobs bouncing they quit. And sport outside of school is often prohibitively expensive too.

Well maybe school PE lessons should focus less on “sport” then. Because sport is only fun for those who are more physically able and competitive. PE is Physical Education, so it should be more about individual fitness and improving your fitness. Not about competitive sports which alienate at least half of the kids (because by definition half are below average at sports).

To me, physical education should be about learning how to look after your body - the literal “education” part of that. So learning what exercises you like and enjoy, whether it’s about simply getting your heart rate up, or getting physically stronger or improving your flexibility.

None of which need to happen in a competitive team sports environment.

there’s absolutely a place for competitive sports but there’s also a place for those who are never going to be competitive but want to simply be active.

at my kids primary school if they don’t do the daily mile, they spend the first 5-10 mins of each day doing Just Dance as a class - it helps them to move around and burn off energy and the kids love it. these things are vital - but beyond primary it doesn’t seem to happen

adult age, when there's a cricket club and a 6-a-side football group that operate at an 'any skill level welcome' level.

I was rubbish at PE at school but loved netball, so was pleased they started one of these "for fun" clubs near us. Unfortunately, turned out the "fun" was being had by those who excelled at sport and played in local netball tournaments, which were refereed by the coach. Inevitably, it became cliquey. Those of us who weren't good enough for tournaments were, at best, tolerated and borderline excluded even within the fun sessions, and it was that "oh God, I've been put with HER" thing from school PE all over again.

I no longer attend.

It's hard I guess, because for team sports like netball you do need the numbers so without the competitive players there may not be enough for the group to run at all. But it's crap to be pushed out by them when all you want is a bit of fun and exercise.