Do you invite your parents to family holiday?

[GingerLemonSoda]

For context we are a family of 4 and DM lives on her own.

We've invited DM to our holiday once a few years ago, but prefer to do our own thing so tend to just go on holiday by ourselves.

DM goes in a huff whenever I tell her we've booked a holiday without inviting her. The cost would usually go up quite a lot as she's a 5th person and we normally have to either book a separate room or pay premium for booking a suite room to fit 5 in.

Aibu to not invite her to our holidays? We do spend some weekends and holidays and Christmas at either hers or she stays over at ours.

No. She quite difficult. These things get set in stone.... for me and sisters a big no. Yes major mood when we say we away. Not something I get into as if you start it... 80s. Likes her own way too.

I want chill on my hols not be caring for someone else.

Never.
It's not their place IMO. Over involvement. A slippery slope.

My 2nd husband used to holiday with his parents and children every year. He was divorced so it worked well. The first year we were together we went away altogether and MIL invited her cousin (who is nearer my husband age than her) for two nights who also brought a friend then my husband invited a couple he was friends with that I quite liked too but none of them drove so we were ferrying everyone around. I was exhausted. My MIL said it was the best holiday she had ever had and my husband (bf of less than a year at that time) said he agreed which really hurt as we had just come back from Croatia as a couple a few weeks before. I bit my tongue a lot as the ILs had paid

The next year we booked to go away together but it was more remote and I refused to be a taxi service to visitors then COVID hit then the in laws got frail. I think my husband also realised how much I valued our time just the two of us.

I was widowed aged 48 I took my kids away with me as they were older teens/ young 20s over the next few years but I then started doing solo holidays which were great and I would have continued doing that had I not met my husband.

I'm nearly 60 and remarried but will never impose on my children. They need their holidays to be themselves and relax not entertain me

My parents came with us and DC on an activity beachclub holiday last year and my mum didn’t enjoy it at all, poor thing had a fall quite early on (she’s in her 70s) and after that didn’t want to do any activities, didn’t enjoy the heat, spent most of the time in her air conditioned room. Maybe try again to tell your mum the type of holiday you want to do she wouldn’t enjoy?

We used to invite my parents to our UK holiday some years esp. when the DS were little - they loved having grandparents there. They would help with food prep, look after the DS when we went out, never criticised anything etc. But we haven't been away with MIL. I kind of had a warning what she may be like when we stayed in a hotel with her for a wedding (we paid for her room). There were endless complaints, everything has to be "just so", she wants food at set times, she'll inspect the bed linen, the bathroom cleanliness, nothing was right, food options weren't good enough. It was honestly a lovely place and none of us 4 had any issues, but due to the drama she created I resolved to never invite her. And DH never organises anything so there was no worry about her coming to anything.

Love this 🤣

No, never for a long main one. We did short weekend trips until my mum and my PIL got too old and have now ill-health.