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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Gift for mum who's paying for wedding

29 replies

Blackpuppy · 21/04/2023 20:43

My mum is very very kindly paying for my wedding I know I'm extremely lucky.

I think we should get her a gift but I just cannot think of anything that expresses how much she's helped or how amazing she is.

OH is like yeah flowers or something. She does like flowers but it's not enough is it?

So aibu to just get flowers?
Ainbu to get something else?

OP posts:

nomoredriving · 21/04/2023 20:44

A piece of jewellery?

LemonBall · 21/04/2023 20:45

Flowers during the speeches, lovely picture of the day in a frame afterwards.

Lovingitallnow · 21/04/2023 20:48

Special time with the photographer for you and her, ask her if there's any family photos on the day she'd like, include a favourite song of hers as a surprise, acknowledge her publicly with flowers on the day. Make her involved in the run up- like invite her sisters to the hen or if that's not appropriate do a special bridal shower or kitchen party for them. Make occasions out of events like dress shopping. A pre wedding mother daughter afternoon tea. A special prayer for her or something significant to her.

Tigofigo · 21/04/2023 20:50

Depends what she is into. I'd get her a beautiful piece of jewellery if she likes wearing it. Or a set of that's her thing eg earrings and necklace. Assuming the wedding is several thousand I'd spend at least several hundred on it.

Get her a HUGE £80 bunch of flowers too. If flowers are her thing you can buy a subscription so she gets a bunch every month.

hanner414 · 21/04/2023 20:52

We got ours a tree to plant in thier garden which blossomed in colour of our wedding (organge)so it would last longer than flowers and then took them for a posh meal after honeymoon

Lollypop701 · 21/04/2023 20:53

She knows she has helped and she has decided she wants to do that. Flowers and a thank you at the wedding are fine. Maybe you and her have a weekend away after to acknowledge it

memememe · 21/04/2023 20:53

If she's anything like my mum, she'd like a plant in the garden that flowers at the same time of the wedding so she would remember it each time it flowered. I'd also buy a really nice piece of jewellery that she can wear on the day.

tillytoodles1 · 21/04/2023 20:54

We gave our daughter a hefty chunk of money, so did his parents. We got flowers, jewellery and chocolates during the speeches and it was lovely .

mrsbyers · 21/04/2023 20:55

We did flowers and then a wedding photo album which included some photos we had taken of the family during the wedding

ChickenSoupAndLokshen · 21/04/2023 21:17

A special tree with a plaque to plant in the garden?

lookingforaholiday · 21/04/2023 21:19

A photo book of special times you've spent together and perhaps some including your husband to be

Hesma · 21/04/2023 21:23

I got my mum a silver lipstick holder with mother of the bride engraved as a keepsake

Greensleevevssnotnose · 21/04/2023 21:26

Nice sentiment, my parents would rather have had the money back I think. So if the gift is gonna cost sat £250:00 give them it back. Unless they are loaded and would prefer a gift

nomoredriving · 21/04/2023 21:37

Hesma · 21/04/2023 21:23

I got my mum a silver lipstick holder with mother of the bride engraved as a keepsake

That's nice 😊

ColdHandsHotHead · 21/04/2023 21:38

A tree or shrub for her garden, if she has one.

Ponoka7 · 21/04/2023 21:40

You need to make it very personal. Don't go generic.

titchy · 21/04/2023 21:46

Ponoka7 · 21/04/2023 21:40

You need to make it very personal. Don't go generic.

This a million times. Not 'yeah flower or something'. Put some proper thought into it.

ShandaLear · 21/04/2023 21:51

We got married in a castle and commissioned a popular local artist to paint a watercolour painting of the wedding venue for each set of parents. It wasn’t cheap cheap, but it wasn’t hugely expensive - £300-£400 ish each. The paintings lasted longer than the marriage and are still on display in both homes over 20 years on. Paintings also have a bit of a ‘wow’ factor when presented at a wedding so would go well if you did a big bouquet for a mother of the bride presentation, and then the painting as a token of appreciation for the support she has given you both for your wedding.

Twittens · 21/04/2023 22:00

We bought my mum some jewellery that complimented her outfit for the wedding, it was dark blue Pearl earrings and necklace… it was unlike anything she owned, and something she would never had bought herself in that she bought a lovely outfit and hat and shoes, but would have found buying new jewellery just for a wedding too extravagant…

justanothermummma · 21/04/2023 22:12

Made Mum a personalised print which I gave her on the wedding morning (she cried) she had a special corsage made to wear on the day also.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/04/2023 22:14

How much is the wedding? If she is paying for the whole lot then surely 10% is the minimum you should spend?

"Flowers and a framed photo of the wedding" is a really crap suggestion - fair enough if she's paying for (say) the dress its a good gift but the whole wedding?

LibbyL92 · 21/04/2023 22:19

Nice weekend away for the both of you?

nomoredriving · 21/04/2023 22:20

Twittens · 21/04/2023 22:00

Just lovely ....

Rainbowqueeen · 21/04/2023 22:22

Is she walking you down the aisle??

Definitely a public acknowledgement of how much you both appreciate what she has done for you. Then whatever gift you get her, write a note expressing how you feel too. That is what she will treasure forever

Original poster

Blackpuppy · 21/04/2023 22:44

She is walking me down the aisle. She's paid the whole lot. Hasn't even put any demands on it either. She does ok money wise.

OP posts:

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