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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do you worry about your mortgage/finances if you know you'll inherit?

133 replies

malkeot · 21/04/2023 17:18

Of course anything could happen etc etc but if you’re largely sure you’ll have enough to pay off your mortgage and then some, are you more relaxed about finances? Would you be bothered about overpaying mortgage or just enjoy life, in the knowledge it will be paid eventually?

OP posts:
Cocobeachy · 21/04/2023 19:48

SlipperyLizard · 21/04/2023 17:35

I don’t expect to inherit anything, but even if I did I wouldn’t count on it - there are too many ways (as others have said) for it to go wrong.

Also, if I was lucky to inherit from my parents (I wish!) then I’d feel some responsibility to pass that luck onto my own children rather than using it all to fund my mortgage/retirement.

But then perhaps my attitude is different because I know I won’t inherit anything, and have never had any kind of financial safety net, so taking responsibility for my own finances has always been a priority.

Totally agree.
We sorted our own finances out and so now we will in effect bypass ourselves and give our children significant house deposits.

tubing · 21/04/2023 19:52

Can I ask a question ref equity been eaten up by care home fees is there a way to avoid this my boss he now has his parents house in his name but there is 7 in the family.

The country really can't afford for everyone to bow out of paying for care to protect their relatives inheritance!

Tiredalwaystired · 21/04/2023 19:57

You can’t rely on it. 25 years ago my grandma told us that us grandchildren were going to inherit her house when she died.

she’s now 104 and still going strong albeit in a care home. The house is rented out so still in her name but it the equity is rapidly going down. There will be nothing left for us but I am almost 50 and still have my lovely grandma so it’s a non issue.

meanwhile we chip away at our mortgage just the same as the next person.

TheGoogleMum · 21/04/2023 19:58

I think it's foolish to consider inheritance in long term financial plans, it might all get spent on care homes anyway! We budget based on our current situation. Our mortgage is over a long term (more than 25 years), inheritance would help but shouldn't be necessary.

The other thing to consider is relatives might live much longer than expected. I had one live to her 90s and was worried about her house paying for care home but her son was in his 70s and didn't expect to inherit at that point in life anyway!

TheGuv1982 · 21/04/2023 19:59

I’m likely to get a near 7 figure sum…I’ve not once, and never will, make any financial decisions based on that fact.

Any inheritance can easily be eaten up in care costs, or relations defrauded. So many scenarios you can list to make it a very risky proposition to rely on it.

Atnilpoe · 21/04/2023 20:00

I don’t factor it in in the slightest. I hope our mortgage is long since paid off before I lose my parents. I’d like to keep them as long as possible! I imagine if we do inherit any money from them (not spent on care fees etc) then we’ll give it to the kids 🤷🏻‍♀️

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:02

I don’t stand to inherit much, don’t have a pension, career is up and down and quite frankly I really genuinely don’t give a shit. I live blissfully and ignorantly. I’m quite a happy person and don’t tend to think too much in the future.

Gingerlygreen · 21/04/2023 20:06

My friends Dad is currently spending 54k a year on his care home fees so no I don't plan to rely on inheritance.

I actively encourage my Mum and my in laws to spend their money enjoying their old age.

Rockbird · 21/04/2023 20:06

My parents made their will this week, they have some properties which I stand to inherit half of. But 1) anything could happen and/or they might (quite rightly) decide to blow it all and go and live on a cruise ship and 2) I have £7 in loose change to last me till next Friday so yes I worry a lot! And I hope I have to go on worrying for a long time to come because I'd rather that than the alternative.

Nomoreminieggs · 21/04/2023 20:07

Interesting discussion. I've no family money so never had ilto factor inheritance into my life. My partner is now 53. We rent a house. I've said with his age, we need to look to buy soon but he's not concerned because he will inherit when his dad passes (he's now 90). However, for the same reason he's 53 and hdoesnt have a pension. It annoys me because we have a young child and the security of buying a house would be lovely but he's living his life waiting for an inheritance and he's in his fifties! I don't get it.

TorchwoodWho · 21/04/2023 20:11

DP and I will inherit around £500k, maybe a little more, between us, although as others have said, nothing is guaranteed. We've never counted on it in fact we dread the day because it'll be from our parents and we much prefer having them around!
We still save a fair amount each month, put a lot into our pensions and regularly overpay our mortgage to pay it off in it's entirety, sooner. We are making it so that we can support ourselves, leave a good amount for our children and not have to rely on an inheritance.

TorchwoodWho · 21/04/2023 20:12

TorchwoodWho · 21/04/2023 20:11

DP and I will inherit around £500k, maybe a little more, between us, although as others have said, nothing is guaranteed. We've never counted on it in fact we dread the day because it'll be from our parents and we much prefer having them around!
We still save a fair amount each month, put a lot into our pensions and regularly overpay our mortgage to pay it off in it's entirety, sooner. We are making it so that we can support ourselves, leave a good amount for our children and not have to rely on an inheritance.

*in its entirety - thanks autocorrect. 😑

BurntOutGirl · 21/04/2023 20:13

In theory l should receive enough to pay my mortgage off as l own 25% of my DM house (parents were Tenants in Common. Dads 50% split between sister and l when he died)

In reality, if our Mum needs care we will use our half of the house to pay for it. No way would we see our parents go without.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 21/04/2023 20:23

Erm, no. You would be mad to count on it!

For all you know, the relative you are "counting on" could end up using any inheritance to pay for care for years and years. There could be notbing left.

Plus it's distasteful.

LeefPeeper · 21/04/2023 20:27

This thread reminds me of a lady I used to work with. Her and her husband rented, and never bothered with saving up for a deposit, as his parents were “loaded” and they would just buy a house once they had died. Their landlord decided to sell the house, they asked his parents for the deposit amount, they said no and she was absolutely livid.

Can2022getanyworse · 21/04/2023 20:27

Care home fees are often well in excess of £1k a week.

I had assumed that my mum's estate would have to fund her care fees in very old age, and planned my finances accordingly. Unfortunately she dies very unexpectedly and suddenly last year so my inheritance has come as a bittersweet surprise. I have paid off the majority of my mortgage but have held some back for home improvements and a few treats 'from grandma'.

GnomeDePlume · 21/04/2023 20:34

We haven't included the possibility of inheritance in our financial plans.

At one stage we could have been confident of some sort of inheritance. Now I dont think it will happen. DM has changed her will. I dont know the detail but I suspect (hints dropped) it will involve some sort of trust fund for her DGCs. DB and I will be trustees. All totally bonkers as DGCs are adults.

Tigofigo · 21/04/2023 20:43

nutbrownhare15 · 21/04/2023 17:24

I may inherit money from my parents. They may spend it before they go, it may all be swallowed up in care home fees. One may die and the other marry a gold digger. They may die in the next few years or 20 or more years away. As a result I will never rely on inheriting anything from them.

This.

I'd rather they got good care from the proceeds of their house than get a big inheritance.

The decent care home nearest my ILs is £80k a year per person so it wouldn't take too long to go through assets.

YukoandHiro · 21/04/2023 20:45

How can you be sure you'll inherit? My parents are petty comfortably off and I'm an only child but they are only just entering their 70s and could end up having years of care needs (they are fine so far)... I don't think it's inevitable I'll inherit at all, despite being the only beneficiary of their wills

HowCow · 21/04/2023 20:50

My mum is currently in a good care home. Not anything flash. Fees have just gone up by 12%. She is now paying nearly £4000 per month.

I do wonder if people realise just how expense care is these days? I think a lot of people who are banking on inheritance are going to be disappointed....

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 21/04/2023 20:55

You really can't count on it. At age 20 I would have said that I was probably set for a nice old age, my parents owned a house valued over £1mill at that point, a prosperous business and healthy savings.

By 28 both parents had died, mum first when I was 21, between then and my dad dying he got remarried. Stepmum sold the house she inherited for £1.2mill and used the proceeds and savings to buy a lovely house for herself and her new husband.

It's possible that we will inherit from DHs parents, but that will hopefully be years and years from now, his gran is still going strong at 94 and both parents still voluntarily and happily working in their 70s. Based on what family history DH and I will be well into retirement before there's even a possibility of inheriting anything.

Make your own plans.

HairyToity · 21/04/2023 20:56

My mum always tella the story of how my grandad looked forward to an inheritance. He died at 72 and the aunt he stood to inherit lived to 101. In the end my mum and her sisters inherited 9k each, as aunt outlived grandad, and a great deal of her money went on care home fees.

JaceLancs · 21/04/2023 20:56

DF lived to nearly 95 and most went on nursing home fees
if DM lives to same age I’ll be past 70 and am not expecting anything other than her jewellery which she promised me years ago and is mentioned in her will
I will have to paddle my own canoe as I’ve always done

LadyAstor · 21/04/2023 20:58

I'm in my fifties and have seen the inheritance plans of so many friends and colleagues go up in smoke over the years, usually to astronomical care home fees, secret debts or, more often than not, the equity release plan nobody knew about.

Be careful making plans around assumptions of other people's money.

SoAndSoSaidSo · 21/04/2023 21:41

We inherited a house/land in the countryside outright. No money.

We have a mortgage on our house.

We know we are fortunate and we will inherit 1/5 of my parents house unless my siblings die, most likely no money. The house can't be sold and is for everyone to use.

There will probably be financial stuff from my FIL, but it's not something we think about or bargain on.

We do know we will always have a roof if we loose our house. Which I'm very grateful for.