To want to retire to Devon (from London suburbia)

[hildaogden99]

Have lived in same London suburb our whole lives. Until recently we liked living here (nice house, nice neighbours, easy access to London but on the green belt too, everything on our doorstep). However, over the last couple of years (since Covid really) it has REALLY changed. Overcrowded, flats being built on every inch of land, horrendous traffic, road rage, increasing crime and a rapidly increasing number of horrible, rude entitled people ( I work with the public so perhaps have noticed it more). We're at the stage where we just want to escape as we just don't like living here anymore. Can't do anything for about 4 years. Will be 60 then and I'm hoping DC will be settled by then. DC1 is 20, already has a job and hopes to buy a property. DC2 is only 16 and going to college for 2 years from September but am hoping by the time we go will know what direction they're going.

We're thinking Devon. It's not alien to us as have been many, many times and love it. DH spent a lot of his childhood there and is still loosley in touch with family friends there. In fact, PIL retired there but sadly both died not long after moving which put us off for a long time (lightning striking twice.!?). SIL is also thinking of moving there too and BIL has a holiday home there. We'll obviously do our homework over the next few years and carry on visiting as much as we can but would be grateful for any views. Would this be a crazy thing to do?

What We're worried about:
Not fitting in/making friends
One of us getting ill/dying and the other being left alone with no family close by
Missing the convenience of London
Picking the wrong area - we do know it pretty well (esp South Devon) and know we want to stay away from the big tourist areas (like Torbay) but don't want to be isolated either. Would also like easy access to our beloved Dartmoor & the coast.

Any tips? Was rather put off by this article but rest assured I'm nothing like her 😂

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4535684/SHONA-SIBARY-moved-family-Devon-hated-family-broken.html

Lots of good advice on this thread, @hildaogden99
I live in West Devon, having grown up on the southern edge of Dartmoor, and spent a couple of decades away, partly in London, partly in other areas (army wife) and partly in a chocolate box village near Winchester. I absolutely love it here, but my love stems from deep familiarity and a sense of homecoming. I find the village incredibly friendly- much more so than either Hampshire or various army quartering patches. There is less variety in everything except biodiversity and it’s harder to be spontaneous. Moving around is slower because there are no straight stretches of road for overtaking the tractor/milk lorry/cattle trailer. Agriculture is predominant. It isn’t very smart or glamorous. It’s a LONG WAY from London. Any or all of those features might be a negative or positive, depending on what gives you joy. I’ve also noticed how clean and sweet the air is, how much more time-rich people seem to be and how much more cohesive small local communities are that aren’t hollowed out by everyone commuting to town.
I think the woman in the article made some disastrous assumptions and errors. The worst thing you could do is expect living in Devon to be a 12 months version of your summer holiday. Towns that are delightful in July are likely to be empty in November, and places with too many second homes or Airbnb won’t be great at supporting full time living. Your neighbours will want to know you are committing to your new life- that you bring something with you, and are understandably put off by those who want a picturesque idyll but complain endlessly about muddy lanes and animal smells/noises. The social fabric is strong because people give time to their community, and they will look to you to do likewise.
My advice would be to spend time in Devon out of season and away from areas where you have holidayed. If you can rent a ‘real’ home for six months including winter and still see what you’ve always loved that will be a good test. If you can be happy here Nov-March the rest of the year will take care of itself. I would also say that as more areas get workable broadband and there is house building around a number of towns this will bring more money into the area and start to support some of the nice-to-have businesses you are likely to miss from London. When Gail’s arrives in Okehampton there will be nothing left to wish for!

I'm from Devon and we have the same issues of new-build estates popping up everywhere putting a lot of strain on local services and roads. I hate trying to get anywhere these days as the traffic is always terrible, especially as where we live is a cyclists paradise so they are always in the way whenever we try to get anywhere. I used to be able to go out walking on Dartmoor and barely see another soul but that's a thing of the past now too and anti-social behaviour like leaving piles of litter/fly-tipping and huge amounts of dog excrement left everywhere has massively increased. Towns are full of empty shops and the roads are in a terrible state of disrepair.

I lived in the Lake District for a few years before having children and if it wasn't for the fact that most of my family are in Devon I would probably strongly consider moving back there again. It can be a miserable place, but as my partner says that tends to keep a lot of people away so its not so crowded!

I live near Exeter - I love it. I think there's loads to do in Exeter and it's only an hour on the train to Bristol or 2 hours to London if you want something different. But honestly there's loads in Exeter - theatres, art centres, lots of sport down by the quay, nice independent shops, nice restaurants. I find people friendly. Bit perplexed, frankly, at the presentation of it being 'backward.'

I’m in london and saddened by the increase in crime and the cramping / overcrowding but I don’t know where to move to. Where do older Londoners go - it isn’t Brighton/Hove anymore.

Also - what a bloody stupid article. As if it doesn't rain and get windy in London FFS. As it happens I'm going out to dinner tonight at, erm, Wagamamas . . . We do have them in Devon.

My husband spent a lot of time in hospital a few years ago. The RD and E was absolutely fantastic - v caring, friendly and professional so thank God he spent 4 and a half weeks there. He spent 4 days in Derriford and it was exactly the opposite - rude, casual, and v unfriendly and unhelpful.

Are you in Bexley op?

I live in Pinhoe and it's lovely but I would say it's more of a district of Exeter rather than a seperate village. If you wanted a town or village just outside of Exeter I would recommend Broadclyst, Exminster, Ottery St Mary maybe. Exeter is a great city and has direct trains to Paddington. In fact Pinhoe is on the Waterloo line so you can get the train straight to Waterloo, via quite a few stops though!

Would also second that the RD and E hospital in Exeter is very good

Why are people being cryptic about Fermoys and Trago Mills?

Eek that article is infuriating, she moved to a deprived area of Devon and would have had an equally miserable time moving to a deprived area of London. Give it a go OP, you sound like you're doing your research, Devon is varied, Exeter is a really lovely city and Plymouth has some good points (harbour, Barbican etc) and then there are the more obvious beautiful, wild rural and coastal places. In the towns peope want to move to there will be plenty of other people from 'up country' but not so much in the run down areas, thats obvious, as is not moving next door to a farm if you dont like the smell of manure. That DailyMail article was written by an idiot who sounds very proud of her superficial life and multiple 4x4s.

At people asking about aging and not being able to drive etc - we have towns and cities here! With public transport!
anywhere like exeter, Totnes, Dartmouth, exmouth etc has hospitals, yoga, literary groups, cycling clubs, sailing, shops and even supermarkets!
living in Devon doesn’t have to mean rural and isolated.

Just read the article, what an insufferable, ignorant woman. Can't imagine she was missed by many when she left. How can people not do masses of research on an area so completely different to where they currently live if they're uprooting their whole family?!

My parents retired to Devon 25yrs ago. Coastal town with good train station and easy access to Exeter for music, theatre, museums etc. They have loved it there, joined lots of things to meet people- local choir, sailing, etc. it’s big enough to have a supermarket, butchers, bakers, etc. Main downside is it is very hilly in places and their knees now aren’t so great, thankfully there is a bus stop nearby they can still walk to. So look very carefully at how you will get around if you can no longer drive or walk far!

@RobinHumphries because it’s fun.
If it’s bothering anyone, we can all decamp to a separate thread about the shop that used to have a light aircraft department?

We moved to Somerset - just outside Bath - 17 years ago from just outside Croydon. We did a lot of research before we moved and would never go back. We made sure to live in a small town as we had a 14 year old daughter so living in a village would have been difficult for her to get around and would have meant that she would need lifts every where as the bus services are not particularly good from the villages. We live on a 70's estate and are very fortunate with our neighbours

We moved here because we wanted to get out of the London area. What we found is that the locals are happy to be friendly provided that you put effort into make friends. We were fortunate that as we are church goers we met a lot of people through church. We have also met people through scouting, Rotary and Inner Wheel but we had to join groups to meet people.

One thing we did find was that you have to be careful what you say about other people in the town as they all seem to be related and even know their 4th cousins!

My daughter has moved to Stratford London she much prefers Marks and Spencers at the Willows to Westfield

@hildaogden99 I've just had a thought, I'm sure I saw online that Phil & Kirsty are filming location location location next month you could put yourself forward? They're apparently in this area next month I'm very interested to see what they make of it!

And I'm sure I did get some tags mixed up and get carried away with references etc.

Many people who grew up in Brighton and Hove now live in Worthing.

@Batcountry8 Kingsbridge? Does it have decent Indian food? My parents lived there 20 years + and never once took me for a curry. They lived just off Fore Street! (By the really stinky fish shop)

Also the M&S at the Willows? I've heard that said before. We used to live by a similar one in Surrey And I often get the two mixed up but to say its better than Westfield makes me laugh!

I would NOT move to exeter! I have Lived here for nearly 20 years and it has got very built up which if that is what you don’t like about where you are would be a bad move ditto A lot of east Devon especially the area nearer exeter.
south Hams is very expensive, you won’t get that mulch for your Surrey pound!
Dartmoor itself can be quite insular and more difficult for incomers. Parts of Teignbridge are quite nice cheaper and prettier. Avoid Newton Abbot itself plus kingsteinton and teigngrace though to avoid quarrying and lots of proposed housing. North Devon and Torridge are nice ( avoid Biddeford though) and not so expensive but this is because they are further away from civilisation!

How will you feel if you children settle in London for jobs and you're a four hour drive away? This is what stopped us relocating - we want to be part of their lives (hasten to add they both live around 45mins-1 hour away) We love helping out with the grandchildren and being able to see them every couple of weeks.

Is there anything for them in Devon? Realistically how much of their lives will you be sharing if you are so far away? For me, it's people, not places. We have friends who moved down to Cornwall and they see their grandchildren four times a year; their relationship with their children has definitely suffered. The older you get, the less inclined they feel to keep driving back.

Perhaps look at somewhere that's 1-2 hours away? Sussex? Kent? Hampshire? Suffolk? Far enough to get away from the urban issues you dislike, but close enough to keep up connections?

Totally agree with you...

2 years ago my husband had been feeling quite unwell for a few days, but come the Friday he just wasn't right, I just knew something was really wrong....

took him up to the 'walk in centre' attached to the RD&E hospital in Exeter. Within 5 minutes of reporting to reception he was seen by a doctor, and within half an hour he as on a ward having been diagnosed with sepsis!

He was in hospital for 2 weeks, but his treatment was second to none. I can't fault this hospital with everything they've done for us over 25 years...

Spot on.

Yes amazing Indian.

I didn't realise people were talking about fermoys lol.

Proper afternoon out 😄