To want to retire to Devon (from London suburbia)

[hildaogden99]

Have lived in same London suburb our whole lives. Until recently we liked living here (nice house, nice neighbours, easy access to London but on the green belt too, everything on our doorstep). However, over the last couple of years (since Covid really) it has REALLY changed. Overcrowded, flats being built on every inch of land, horrendous traffic, road rage, increasing crime and a rapidly increasing number of horrible, rude entitled people ( I work with the public so perhaps have noticed it more). We're at the stage where we just want to escape as we just don't like living here anymore. Can't do anything for about 4 years. Will be 60 then and I'm hoping DC will be settled by then. DC1 is 20, already has a job and hopes to buy a property. DC2 is only 16 and going to college for 2 years from September but am hoping by the time we go will know what direction they're going.

We're thinking Devon. It's not alien to us as have been many, many times and love it. DH spent a lot of his childhood there and is still loosley in touch with family friends there. In fact, PIL retired there but sadly both died not long after moving which put us off for a long time (lightning striking twice.!?). SIL is also thinking of moving there too and BIL has a holiday home there. We'll obviously do our homework over the next few years and carry on visiting as much as we can but would be grateful for any views. Would this be a crazy thing to do?

What We're worried about:
Not fitting in/making friends
One of us getting ill/dying and the other being left alone with no family close by
Missing the convenience of London
Picking the wrong area - we do know it pretty well (esp South Devon) and know we want to stay away from the big tourist areas (like Torbay) but don't want to be isolated either. Would also like easy access to our beloved Dartmoor & the coast.

Any tips? Was rather put off by this article but rest assured I'm nothing like her 😂

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4535684/SHONA-SIBARY-moved-family-Devon-hated-family-broken.html

@Batcountry8 Hi!

Yes there aren't many of those about which was a highlight for me.

I live opposite a museum which is in an old church, and there's a huge chain supermarket over the road which I always thought was a bit rough and never shopped there but ours has a little stream running past, an equestrian shop and posh hairdressers next door and a Costa in store so I thought it was very upmarket at first! It didn't take long for the novelty to wear off but it adds to the character of the place really.

If you're local that definitely gives it away!

In my parents village there's no shop , the bus service is twice a week the pub only opens when they feel like it and they have a helicopter pad for the air ambulance on the village green. That kind of remoteness was not for me!

I did this 4 years ago, though to Cornwall. I absolutely LOVE it. I love living by the sea, I love being able to live in a much bigger house. We often go to other areas for a couple of days and its great it only taking 45 minutes to travel to a holiday destination. I wouldn't go back.

There are downsides of course.

I miss my friends, although I have now made two very good proper friends in the village and know a lot of other people.

I miss some elements of my old working life- the social aspect and also using my brain.

Some of the people here can be quite parochial. Some resent 'incomers' and tourists and seem to think everything would be better with neither when the real issue is there are very few decent jobs down here. It drives me mad that so many are hard line Tories who voted Brexit but see none of the advantages of either of these things! But on the other hand the village community can be great.

I was 52 when we moved.

@Batcountry8 @mrsnec I know, I am not far away either!

The daft woman in the article didn't do her research. A small town far from the beach isn't the best way to uproot a family.

I'm planning on heading to Exmouth when I'm older. Train line, large supermarkets and a beach. and an M&S food walking distance from the beach

Lovely in the summer does not mean lovely in a wet cold February.

Do it! Why not!

I have heard of locals getting annoyed with Londoners complaining about farm noises/smells in rural areas and trying to get working farms to stop. 🤣

As long as you go there and slot into their way of life you'll absolutely love it I'm sure.

@BeastOfBODMAS @Batcountry8

See there are friendly people here!

I looked at Totnes but could only get a one bedroom teeny tiny flat on my budget. Also I did feel the wierd vibe and it's loads busier and more touristy than I could have imagined. It's my parents nearest town and despite having to queue in traffic to get into Morrisons they love it.

I didn't know Exmouth had an M&S foodhall near the seafront. I can get there by train and apparently its a nice journey. I'll give that a go! That makes it a bit more attractive than my local beaches.

Having grown up in Devon and Cornwall and seen thousands of Londoners arrive after summer breaks , buy, live through one winter and leave..

The weather is much, much wetter and colder than London.
It is a relatively poor county, with less of everytrhing you are used too, cool restaurants, coffee shops, gastro pubs, shoopings etc, sometimes these are non existent for many miles if at all...
Jobs are lowly paid generally and the fantasy of moving to do the the 'niche' arty work is only bought by the summer visitors, see above..
People can be insular.
It can be very bleak
It is a pig of a journey to get to and from.

Having lived in Devon, London and a few other places l think you would be better off considering the South Coast from Margate to the New forest for the transport, cultural links, accessability, variety of locals and most importantly much drier weather......

@mrsnec I’m from the village on the way with the garden centre

I think Totnes must be best if you can live and work there and go everywhere on foot.

Exmouth is a great day out, I think the food hall is attached to the station and it gets sun late into the day unlike Torbay

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · Today 08:28
Just spend lots of time down there, you will be retired you can spend weeks down there at a time.

The being isolated if anything happens would be my biggest concern.”

This. We’re retiring to a city centre because services, facilities, good reliable public transport when we can no longer drive and people around us will become increasingly important.

If you can afford it, I'd try and spend more time there in rental accommodation. I'd also want to have an idea where your DC may live. I grew up in Dorset, it's lovely but I couldn't cope with the lack of public transport, the lack of diversity, the insular nature of it.

Why not look at a city like Exeter so you get best of both worlds.

YABU to think that an article written for the Mail by Shona Sibary is going to be a balanced reflection of real life. Or any kind of reflection of real life.

Lived in Devon my whole life, what I will say is it is very underfunded. Our local town has had 900 new houses built recently but there's no infrastructure to support. One Docs surgery only. Local hospital shut 5 years ago & so now all hospital trips are roughly an hour away from us (Exeter) the roads are awful, pot holes everywhere 🤣 I'm very lucky to live on a farm on the Devon/Cornwall border so half an hour to the beach, half an hour to the moor. I do feel it is a lot more crowded than it used to be since lockdown & again wouldn't be an issue if everything wasn't so underfunded. You'll need to be able to drive as there is so little public transport. The nearest village to me is 2 miles away & there is a bus twice a week 🤣

My friend who lives in London also finds it hilarious that when I put my location in to 'Just Eat', only one result comes up & we still have to drive 2 miles to meet the driver to collect our food 🤣

I live in Devon (though didn't move from London, specifically) but have lived in other big non-UK cities when younger. I personally love it, but it depends on what you are looking for. I also love London, but only for a visit, wouldn't want to live there at this point in life.

I would think about what you need access to in terms of general areas. Do you want to be close to Exeter for hospital, shopping, theatre, etc.? If so, think about the radius around Exeter. If less of an issue, but want easier access to the North Cornwall coast and don't mind driving 40 minutes for big shops, then West Devon or further reaches of South Devon (for the coast there) might be better.

And as for specifically where to live, I'd give a lot of thought to the life and culture of a village (assuming you want to live in or just outside a village, not in town). Some are quite quiet and insular with not much going on. Others are lively and active with loads of groups and activities and very welcoming. We moved to a lovely village in West Devon. There's so much happening, book clubs, women's group, volunteer activities, a theatre group, a monthly bacon baps at the hall, and we actually have more friends here after a year than we did in our previous home where we lived for 10 years. See if you can find a copy of the village or parish newsletter if there is one, look at the village hall website to see if they list any events or groups, etc.

Everyone has been so welcoming. I think some of that may have to do with the fact that the village is a mix of people who have lived there forever and newcomers (but not second home owners). So there is a lot of interest in meeting new people and community activities, etc. and not just everyone keeping to themselves.

That said, I've lived in the SW for about 12 years after moving from a big city and in Devon specifically for 1.5 years and I love it. I have no plans to ever move.

Another thing to remember is if you move somewhere to retire, unless you move again you will be there when older/less mobile. A 40 mile round trip to the supermarket and 3 miles to the local shop may seem fine when you are healthy and can drive but when you can’t…. It may mean visits to family become more than you can manage, and children working and with families at school may not be able to visit all that much. My parents looked at various country properties, all within 30 miles of their current home, when they retired. None quite fitted the bill. Now one can’t drive and the other only does so in daylight (and really shouldn’t) being within ten minutes walk of town centre, train station and buses to other towns makes a huge difference to their quality of life.

It’s right next to the train station.

I'd definitely move. London is a good place to visit, but there's no way in hell that I'd want to live there these days. Maybe 30 years ago but not now ... So many reasons to not live there now... But I definitely wouldn't move to Devon (or Cornwall or that general area...)

Might be made more likely to move to Staffordshire or Shropshire or Cheshire or Warwickshire, something that is more central in the country. If you live in Devon, and that general area of the country, it's just such a ball ache to get to anywhere. It's really overrated too. Not really much there except multiple hundreds of thousands - and even millions - of visitors every year.

My parents moved from London and love it. Locals are friendly and they have a great network of plumbers, electricians etc.

There are really nice independent shops, twice weekly market, yoga and pilates classes, beauty salons, cafes etc. . They have to drive to these but thats as they wanted to live rurally, but its only 15 mins.

We moved to South Devon over 20 years ago, brought our kids up and now they are living in their university cities and I feel so cut off. Like most of their childhood friends they have no plans to move back. I find it quite boring and yes a walk by the beach is nice but you need more than that in life. I want to live somewhere where I don't need a car, where I can see my kids easily, where there are theatres and interesting groups to join.

We found people very unwelcoming, it isn't a diverse community and probably my husband not being white didn't help. We've found that locally people think you are probably a criminal if you come from north of Exeter (or up the line as they say) so someone from another country with a darker complexion is clearly seen as dodgy. The first 20 years were the worst, in the last few years we seem to be more tolerated by our neighbours.

Devon is also being built all over, currently the fields at the back of my house are being built on. It doesn't really bother me, I will prefer the noise of people to listening to the cows and calves crying for each other when the calves are taken away so mum can carry on producing milk for people. I'm in a minority though as locally people are up in arms about it.

I know people who are happy here and wouldn't move but I know other couples like us where one wants to stay and one is desperately unhappy and others where both seem happy.

I wouldn't worry about that article at all- "middle class woman moves out of London and performatively fucks it up" is a standard piece in the Mail, Telly etc, there's one every other week. London stereotypes v rural stereotypes always gets a lot of clicks.

We bought a house in a rural area which is touristy in summer and very quiet in winter. Wherever you go, I'd really recommend spending time there in all seasons and not assuming it's always like it is in spring/summer/autumn/winter. Tourist traffic can be a real issue in Devon in high season, likewise in low season you may find that pubs etc stay shut.

The only other thing I'd ask yourself is how close you want to be to your children and whether that will change if they have children. But otherwise go for it, why not?

I moved to Exeter:

A city but small enough that it retains character, good shops, restaurants.

Exeter quay has kayaking, pubs, restaurants, crafts shops.

Lovely smaller villages / towns on the outskirts.

Good University.

About 20 mins drive to beaches such as Dawlish, Dawlish Warren, Exmouth.

Haldon Forest Park a 10 minute drive from Exeter (Forestry England) there are woodland walks, cycling/mountain biking, Segway & 'Go Ape' tree climbing.

Larger cities like Bristol are a 1 hour drive from Exeter.

How much will it annoy you if your children aren’t around all that much? I remember a thread (years ago) where the OP’s parents moved to Cornwall then moaned that she didn’t visit enough. From memory she lived in a London suburb / Home Counties and had French in-laws. I think it got to the point where they kicked off if she and her family spent any holidays at anywhere other than Cornwall.

I travelled from just a handful of miles south of Exeter to Bristol last week on the M5 and it took 2hrs 30 minutes. I don't find that very unusual but if you don't have any particular time you have to travel you can pick quiet times.

Which other large cities are an hours drive from Exeter?

Plymouth?