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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To gift own art

56 replies

Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:06

Hi all, will try to keep this relatively concise to determine whether this is acceptable or not. I have afull time and very demanding job. In the last year I've been painting a lot in my spare time and my art has really started to pick up a fan base online and become a good sideline for me. I have just finished a painting which I know my fiancées relative will absolutely adore and it's her birthday in a fortnight. I'd usually sell an original painting of this size for about £75 and have done this already online with others. A print can go for about £12-£15. I was wondering what to get my fiancées relative and thought the painting would be perfect however I really don't know whether she will realise quite how much time and effort goes into it and I'd never tell her what I'd usually sell them for. I want her to have it because she's a wonderful person and I'm proud of it & know its to her taste but if I gift it alone and she doesn't quite get it does that look like I couldn't be bothered to get her a real gift? I know obviously what the materials and time cost me and the value of the painting in the sense of what I'd sell it for but I'm not sure she would... the alternative is to put something with it but then I feel it devalues the work and then I might aswell just gift something else. She has everything she could ever want but always goes above and beyond on my birthday and has gone out of her way to include me in fiancées family since I met him so I want to give her something special and thoughtful. I have spoken to his family about how much the painting sideline has taken off but I'm not sure they know the extent because I am still in a full-time job I'm a completely different field.

Yabu- regardless of the cost and time to make it and handmade gift for someone you've always otherwise got something lavish for will look cheap and odd, buy something.

Yanbu- if you know she will love it gift it to her.

Just to add, I'm sure the tone of my op doesn't sound this way as I've re read but just just confirm I'm not for a second suggesting gifts have to be high in material value to be acceptable acceptable give to someone, it's just we have always gifted her a decent amount as she is so close to my fiancée and I love giving her something special once a year.

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 21/04/2023 00:12

Do it!😀
Well done you for making time for doing a hobby that brings you happiness.
I would be delighted to receive such a thoughtful gift.
Please don't worry,instead be proud of what you have created.🌻

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 21/04/2023 00:15

I love receiving handmade gifts! My SIL is a talented artist and occasionally gifts her work to family members. I've never had anyone tell me that they would have preferred something store bought. You are being generous with your time and talent. YANBU

Original poster
Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:20

Thank you both for replying that is a relief! I did ask my fiancée but wasn't sure he could be honest if he didn't agree with gifting it as he's seen me working hard on it. I'll wrap it up nicely and put it aside for her birthday.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 21/04/2023 00:26

He’ll be getting her something as well, won’t he?

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 21/04/2023 00:28

@Bubblegumtea I knit blankets and throws and I do occasionally gift them to people I think will appreciate that type of thing. Between the cost of materials and the the huge time investment, it would be cheaper and easier to just buy something, tbh. But there's something so meaningful and personal about homemade gifts, isn't there?

Original poster
Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:29

HeddaGarbled · 21/04/2023 00:26

He’ll be getting her something as well, won’t he?

He has tickets to take her to a show she wanted to see so a lovely gift but a non-physical item to unwrap, unless he wraps the tickets I suppose haha. We had agreed I'd do something for her to have on the day and he would do the tickets as a good birthday balance.

OP posts:
Clarinet1 · 21/04/2023 00:29

I think a handmade gift can be one of the nicest things to receive! I think of all the care and time and talent that has gone into it and treasure it!

Original poster
Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:31

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 21/04/2023 00:28

@Bubblegumtea I knit blankets and throws and I do occasionally gift them to people I think will appreciate that type of thing. Between the cost of materials and the the huge time investment, it would be cheaper and easier to just buy something, tbh. But there's something so meaningful and personal about homemade gifts, isn't there?

Yes that's so true, I absolutely love home made gifts and always hope other people appreciate them too but I know I am into creative hobbies so I get how much work goes into them as I'm sure you do too and do worry that other people might not. So glad with these responses that it seems people do though!

OP posts:
MrsCharlesFrere · 21/04/2023 00:58

I think this is a lovely idea and can't imagine anyone being anything but delighted.

Perhaps it's worth a note in the birthday card if yours still concerned just saying something like - I hope you like this as much as I enjoyed working on it. I'm so pleased with how it turned out and hope it will bring you joy. Or something a bit more articulate!

HipHipCimorene · 30/04/2023 04:51

My favourite presents are the ones people make for me.
No question.
Not only do you know your SIL will like it but you actually did it yourself. This is not going to seem. This is a heartfelt gift.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 30/04/2023 05:01

Tickets AND a painting she’ll love would could as a very lavish gift to me!

pleasehelpmycat · 30/04/2023 05:47

I would say definitely give it, it’s a lovely thoughtful gift. Just be prepared not to be upset if she doesn’t hang it somewhere prominent. I was once gifted a painting by my friend’s mum who is a professional artist. I appreciated the painting and objectively it was good, but it was really not my style or the style of my home (think old-style oil painting in a gold frame in a Scandi style home), so I had it in a side room for a few years then gave it away (I didn’t feel bad as we became less close and it is someone who is unlikely to visit my home). I just say this as appreciating the gesture and the painting are different from adding it to the decor of one’s home.

mdh2020 · 30/04/2023 07:36

I have gifted my paintings in the past and they have always been well received. I produce a calendar every year - 12 of my paintings - and people specifically request a copy.

Slavica · 30/04/2023 07:41

Clarinet1 · 21/04/2023 00:29

I think a handmade gift can be one of the nicest things to receive! I think of all the care and time and talent that has gone into it and treasure it!

Absolutely, I so agree with this!

Haus1234 · 30/04/2023 07:44

Definitely do it! Sounds like a lovely gift.

RonObvious · 30/04/2023 07:47

One of our favourite wedding gifts was a lovely framed drawing of the church we got married in that a friend made for us. Never once questioned its monetary value, was just hugely touched by the sentiment and effort (plus it’s a beautiful drawing!).

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2023 07:50

It'll be a nice gift.
I give away my crocheted things as gifts all the time.

Oldermum84 · 30/04/2023 07:52

I would love to receive this kind of gift. I started crocheting last year and everyone received blankets ha! I think handmade gifts are so much more thoughtful and personal.

TomeTome · 30/04/2023 07:57

You know her and know what she likes. I wouldn’t like it but that’s more because I adore choosing my own decoration for my home and find it really difficult when people give me things to decorate my very limited space. If it was given by a friend and made by them then there’s no escaping letting it hang in at least one room of my house.

Cinnamonandcoal · 30/04/2023 08:00

I make things that sell for much more than that and frequently give them as gifts to friends and family.
They may not realise the value but it's not really about that. I'd go for it, it's lovely.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2023 08:01

Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:31

Yes that's so true, I absolutely love home made gifts and always hope other people appreciate them too but I know I am into creative hobbies so I get how much work goes into them as I'm sure you do too and do worry that other people might not. So glad with these responses that it seems people do though!

Show quote history

Will she def know it's yours or night she think you've brought her a painting off someone else?

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 30/04/2023 08:03

I think its a lovely gift, and very generous if you are giving tickets too.

Skyellaskerry · 30/04/2023 08:04

I would love this!

DurhamDurham · 30/04/2023 08:17

I think it's a lovely gift for the right person.
I would feel under pressure to display it prominently in my home if I was given a piece of art by an artist, which would annoy me if it wasn't quite to my taste.

EachFallenRobin · 30/04/2023 08:28

I wouldn't. Most people don't want to be given homemade hobby products, especially art and food. Thing is, most people are too polite for the giver to realise that the art is only displayed in the loo, spare room or when the giver visits, and the food goes straight in the bin.

And crochet is the worse, most crochet is poor quality (low skilled, using the cheapest yarns). People will, 99% of the time, act pleased but honestly most people's hearts sink when opening a hobby gift.

Crafter's tend to massively overestimate the interest in their work - visiting any local craft fair, or looking at FB 'business' pages will show this.

I have a large online following and my work always sells out immediately. But I always buy gifts for friends and family, sometimes from other artists/makers, but only if they are absolutely top quality and in high demand. I only gift my work if specifically asked for it.