Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To gift own art

56 replies

Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:06

Hi all, will try to keep this relatively concise to determine whether this is acceptable or not. I have afull time and very demanding job. In the last year I've been painting a lot in my spare time and my art has really started to pick up a fan base online and become a good sideline for me. I have just finished a painting which I know my fiancées relative will absolutely adore and it's her birthday in a fortnight. I'd usually sell an original painting of this size for about £75 and have done this already online with others. A print can go for about £12-£15. I was wondering what to get my fiancées relative and thought the painting would be perfect however I really don't know whether she will realise quite how much time and effort goes into it and I'd never tell her what I'd usually sell them for. I want her to have it because she's a wonderful person and I'm proud of it & know its to her taste but if I gift it alone and she doesn't quite get it does that look like I couldn't be bothered to get her a real gift? I know obviously what the materials and time cost me and the value of the painting in the sense of what I'd sell it for but I'm not sure she would... the alternative is to put something with it but then I feel it devalues the work and then I might aswell just gift something else. She has everything she could ever want but always goes above and beyond on my birthday and has gone out of her way to include me in fiancées family since I met him so I want to give her something special and thoughtful. I have spoken to his family about how much the painting sideline has taken off but I'm not sure they know the extent because I am still in a full-time job I'm a completely different field.

Yabu- regardless of the cost and time to make it and handmade gift for someone you've always otherwise got something lavish for will look cheap and odd, buy something.

Yanbu- if you know she will love it gift it to her.

Just to add, I'm sure the tone of my op doesn't sound this way as I've re read but just just confirm I'm not for a second suggesting gifts have to be high in material value to be acceptable acceptable give to someone, it's just we have always gifted her a decent amount as she is so close to my fiancée and I love giving her something special once a year.

OP posts:

Bimbom · 30/04/2023 08:30

DurhamDurham · 30/04/2023 08:17

I think it's a lovely gift for the right person.
I would feel under pressure to display it prominently in my home if I was given a piece of art by an artist, which would annoy me if it wasn't quite to my taste.

This. You need to be 100% certain it's her taste. I do have a piece of art gifted to me from the artist above my fireplace, but they know me and my style very well.

caringcarer · 30/04/2023 08:48

If you think she will like it go ahead. Let her know you painted it yourself though.

regenerista · 30/04/2023 08:51

I'd definitely give it to her, I'd be delighted if someone painted a picture for me.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/04/2023 09:57

I wouldn't. No matter how much you think she'd like it, you don't really know. She could just be being polite when she talks to you about your work.

If you really think she'd like it, give her a print of the original as a 'second' present and buy her something else as her 'main' present.

NurseCranesRolodex · 30/04/2023 10:01

Gift the painting to her with a beautifully handpainted card explaining how you feel she's the type of special person to appreciate the effort and love that goes into your wofk. She'll love it, I'm sure!

Erex · 30/04/2023 10:03

It is a lovely idea, I'd echo not being offended if she doesn't display it though.
I've received decor as presents and although I have genuinely appreciated the thought (one was a painting, not by the gift giver but commissioned by them), they've not been to my taste at all. The people giving them have thought I'd like them based on things I've previously liked or by guessing though, so I've always appreciated the thought that went into them.

Doingmybest12 · 30/04/2023 10:06

You know her best , what she likes etc if she'd like artwork shes not chosen herself . If she knows you've painted it surely she'll appreciate the work and effort and materials involved. You are overthinking this especially as DH also has a present. I can not imagine adults being so bothered about possibly more than a token gift which shows they've been thought about.

electriclight · 30/04/2023 10:06

I know I'm a lone voice here but I don't think this is a good idea at all. I love homemade gifts - a cake, a knitted throw. But a painting is a very personal thing and she will feel obligated to hang it even if she doesn't like it. There is so much potential for awkwardness. Presumably, she knows that you paint. If she likes your art, she'd have bought or commissioned some by now. Don't assume positive words of encouragement mean that she wants it hanging in her house.

Ladysaurus · 30/04/2023 10:28

If it's something she'll definitely love then do it (a meaningful landscape or a pet portrait, something personal). I don't get gifts but if I did I'd be much more appreciative of something someone put their time into rather than just their credit card at a department store.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 30/04/2023 10:46

DH was sent a giant painting by a very difficult and bumptious relative, and it was the worst thing either of us had ever seen - think ‘surrealism’ in lurid purple with the drawing skills of a 5-year-old. Everyone who has seen it laughed their heads off. The relative had refused to speak to a teenager for a year after they hadn’t been grateful enough for a similar gift. We put it up in the hallway when relative visited (and took it down when they weren’t in town) and relative was annoyed it wasn’t in the living room. Relative then took offence at something unrelated and cut us out, much to our relief, and the painting went to a charity shop (it was there for months). There’s a big difference between someone being politely interested in your hobby and someone wanting to display it in their home. You say people buy your art so it sounds like it’s much better than this, but there’s still the risk that it’s just not to their taste.

Flokibeard · 30/04/2023 10:54

You shouldn't even have to ask if you're being unreasonable OP! It's a beautiful idea. Sad that anyone could consider a homemade beautiful item not as appropriate as cheaply made, poor quality, mass made crap bought on a whim.

Once upon time children would have only ever received hand made gifts on their birthdays/Christmas. Sad what we have become as a race really.

ComtesseDeSpair · 30/04/2023 10:55

It’s a nice idea and I’m sure will be received as such. But don’t do it if you’d be upset for it not to be put on display: taste in art is subjective. I’ve received a couple of pieces in the past which are just in a cupboard somewhere because, whilst I know the artists have a CV if following if people who love their art and that the art is quality art, I just don’t personally like it or want to see it in my house every day.

TheSnowyOwl · 30/04/2023 10:57

A friend once sketched a picture of my cat. All these years later, it still takes pride of place at home. I love it (and it’s not an amazingly drawn piece either).

We have lots of MIL’s art, my grandfather used to give us paintings and my DM has given us hand painted crockery. I really like it all.

EachFallenRobin · 30/04/2023 10:59

@Flokibeard A gift is not a binary choice between a homemade item or a 'cheaply made, poor quality, mass made crap bought on a whim'. And rarely is a homemade item 'beautiful', other than in the eye of the maker.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 30/04/2023 11:00

Hand made gifts aren't just about the 'gift', they are about the fact that the person giving it thought about YOU, the receiver, as they made it. And it's worth all the expensive shop-bought presents in the world.

A friend made me a crochet blanket for my bed when I bought my new house. In the colours I was decorating the room. She was almost apologetic when she handed it over, very 'oh, it's just something I made, it's got flaws, some of the colours aren't quite right', but it nearly reduced me to tears. She'd thought about me and given me something it had taken her HOURS to make. The flaws are what show it's hand made, and I love it.

If you think the person will love it - give it.

Inthesamesinkingboat · 30/04/2023 11:04

I think it depends on how good it genuinely is. My friend is keen crafter and sells stuff on Etsy but to be honest it’s pretty crap (unfinished edges, glue smears etc) my sister in law paints and that stuff is brilliant I’d be thrilled to get one of her pieces.

LadyPoison · 30/04/2023 11:04

I'd love it. I was given a picture made by a friend for my birthday last year and it's in the sitting room.

I deliberately didn't gift people myhandmade jewellery (sterling silver and semi precious stones) but that also backfired as people were disappointed they didn't get it!

Can't win sometimes.

CovetedAsFuck · 30/04/2023 11:04

electriclight · 30/04/2023 10:06

This!

Hoppinggreen · 30/04/2023 11:06

It depends
MIL have us a huge painting she had done for our 1st anniversary.
Shes quite talented and it’s nice but really not my thing. Of course we have to put it on the wall even so, which irks me somewhat.
Luckily it’s in the spare room

BirdChirp · 30/04/2023 16:21

I paint, and occasionally give them as gifts. I keep them pretty small though so they can hang them somewhere unobtrusive if they aren't that into it.

I think they're very lucky to be given them. I'd love it if someone put that amount of time and thought into a gift for me.

Youcunnyfunt · 30/04/2023 16:35

I generally only gift paintings to people who have mentioned actually wanting one, I’d hate someone to feel they have to keep a painting that’s not to their taste.
Having said that, I’ve given a few away, sometimes I’ve painted someone’s child or pet just for my own practise, and then offered if they wanted it (because it was either too recognisable or not really saleable). The latter can be for various reasons, it doesn’t mean it’s rubbish, but it may just not be right for sale - in case you think I give tat away 😁(I don’t, it gets binned)

mosiacmaker · 30/04/2023 16:38

A friend of mine gave me a painting she did for my birthday and I was delighted! It’s definitely a great gift and much nicer than something purchased

Nandocushion · 01/05/2023 02:54

NurseCranesRolodex · 30/04/2023 10:01

I'm so sorry but I think the painting is an unwise idea - and this suggestion is even more so. The emotional blackmail here will be so off-putting.

OP if she's actually seen a piece of yours and said she'd really like it, that's one thing. But being "sure" she'll like it because you feel like you really know her is a mug's game. A card made with a print, or a print with something not handmade, would remove any pressure on her to have to display something she may not want to.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 01/05/2023 04:26

I have a friend who’s an artist and I’d be bloody thrilled to receive one of her pieces as a gift!

Her work is well out of my price range which is why I’ve never bought or commissioned a painting from her before.

Elieza · 01/05/2023 04:43

I have multiple gifts from crafters who were ‘sure’ I’d love them.

it’s a mixed bag. Some beautiful. Others not my taste.

I can never bin them as they took hours and cost materials. I’m v grateful for the time spent as that’s the gift. But the ones I don’t like just piss me off and take up space in my cupboards and I feel guilty for not liking them it I don’t.

it’s such a personal thing.

but if you give I’d make it a second gift as a pp said.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread