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Original poster

Changing job- am I being selfish?

37 replies

Confusedmama2023 · 20/04/2023 20:17

Hi all, I’d really appreciate your advise and any experience ....I’m so torn and feel so guilty.

I have a stable job in a school with good pay and good hours. I am able to drop off and collect my son from school 3 days a week. But I’m really unhappy in the job, I’ve lost all motivation, dread going in and feel I’m not doing a very good job. I’m finding the workload stressful and not giving it my all.

I saw a job that I really fancied and was interested in and decided last minute to just go for it to see what happened, however, I have now been offered the job which has put me in a dilemma. It’s working from home, 9-5pm (mon-fri), 25 days annual leave a year and also £11,000 less a year! I’d have to consider childcare or struggle WFH. Am I completely out of my mind and selfish to consider accepting the job offer? Or do I suck it up and get on with the job I have as it suits family commitments with more money (around £500 a month more). We are able to survive without the extra £500.

I just feel so trapped in my current job because of the good pay and holidays but I want to be happy and motivated with less work stress😞

Would really appreciate your views! Thanks in advance 😊

OP posts:
TheQueenOfOverthinking · 20/04/2023 20:20

More hours, less money and you’d have to find/fund childcare? You child would lose the benefit of your full attention if you attempted to WFH and look after them.

I know money isn’t everything but I’d keep looking for a more suitable position.

moonspiral · 20/04/2023 20:22

I’d have to consider childcare or struggle WFH there is no "consider" about it you would need it.

TheExchange · 20/04/2023 20:24

I would also keep looking.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/04/2023 20:25

Sorry but no way would I actively lose time and money when I have a family. I recently left an easy job, more days in the office but more money. I would keep looking!

PictureConsequences · 20/04/2023 20:26

How old is your DS? Might you be able to work flexi hours in holidays?
Otherwise, I would just look to change school.

TheUndoing · 20/04/2023 20:29

You’re not going to be able to WFH whilst looking after a child (if that’s what you’re suggesting?!), so I think you really need to factor in the impact of childcare or part time hours. That makes this a total non-starter in my book.

coeurnoir · 20/04/2023 20:31

It would depend on the opportunity for progression to me. If they are good then worth short term pain for the gain, if not then sorry, but it would be foolish to lose that amount of money.

SufferingCarlos · 20/04/2023 20:32

You would be absolutely insane to leave your job for this shitty offer

Suck it up and try to get your relief and destress out of work maybe work out more or change something else in your life. Jobs like you have are like gold dust. Don't be crazy and leave this.

SufferingCarlos · 20/04/2023 20:33

All jobs are stressful and imposter syndrome won't leave you alone whatever the job.

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 20/04/2023 20:34

More hours, less money, a lot less holidays.... no way would I take it!
But if it's a job you really want with career progression opportunities, then maybe it's for you - I couldn't do it.

LoisLanyard · 20/04/2023 20:34

Can you ask them to match your current salary? Or if you can do part time hours for the salary they are offering? I don’t think you have anything to lose really by asking if you haven’t already. Leaving one job for more hours and less pay will eat you up eventually!

HeddaGarbled · 20/04/2023 20:35

Too many disadvantages to this one, I think. There’ll be others that are better. You’ve proved to yourself that you can succeed so use that confidence boost to throw yourself into a serious job search.

LoisLanyard · 20/04/2023 20:37

And just re read your post and realised that it is far less holiday. So the pay is £11k less plus whatever your annual childcare costs are (after school car plus holiday clubs - depends where you are but this will add a few thousand….)

googledidnthelp · 20/04/2023 20:40

Definitely wouldn't consider it. New job, absolutely! Just not this one.

Turnthelightoff · 20/04/2023 20:43

Did they not advertise the salary with this job? If it said ‘competitive’ there might be room for some negotiation. Although it’s a huge gulf to fill.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 20/04/2023 20:43

Why would you leave a good job that suits your family commitments and pays well to go to a job with a huge salary drop, and that will mean childcare/disruption/stress? Just dont. What can you do to improve your current role? What do you need to change to feel happier?

Original poster
Confusedmama2023 · 20/04/2023 20:44

Thank you all so much, this advice has really opened my eyes and helped me see some sense.
I should have added in the original post that I’m only working 30 hours in current role for £34,000 with all the school holidays. New job would be £26,400 for 37.5 hours with only 5 weeks holiday.
Its sounds ridiculous now I’m saying it out aloud 🙈 I think I just feel desperate to leave my job but perhaps I need to try to make it work instead of giving up!

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 20/04/2023 20:44

Nope! A lose on all counts.

lkkjhg · 20/04/2023 20:44

I don't think this would be a good move unless it was a training position in a new profession. If it's a just a different job do not do it.

Working from home sounds good, but can be isolating, a nightmare in the school holidays and makes separating work / home lift hard.

Less money, more hours and far less holidays . Nope

Marmaladesarnie · 20/04/2023 20:46

Are you a teacher?

because if so then that’s definitely worth mentioning, teachers are leaving in their droves for a reason. I know so many people taking massive pay cuts to get out.

if your a teacher then 30hrs isn’t 30 at all is it really?

lkkjhg · 20/04/2023 20:46

If you are struggling in a job, remind yourself of the benefits and adopt a positive attitude. This can help make it far more bearable

Original poster
Confusedmama2023 · 20/04/2023 20:51

Marmaladesarnie · 20/04/2023 20:46

Are you a teacher?

because if so then that’s definitely worth mentioning, teachers are leaving in their droves for a reason. I know so many people taking massive pay cuts to get out.

if your a teacher then 30hrs isn’t 30 at all is it really?

No I’m pastoral but do bring a fair bit of work home with me.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 20/04/2023 20:56

When you factor in hourly rate as you are working another 8 weeks it’s an absolutely massive pay cut. keep looking.

Blackjack15 · 20/04/2023 20:58

I'd stay where you are and keep looking. If you are struggling with motivation now you'll have even less motivation on 11k less

TiaraBoo · 20/04/2023 21:03

Keep looking. Be positive as you clearly interviewed well to get a job offer.

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