To let my fucking cat take his chances??

[Taq]

He’s a nice cat and I have no real beef with him generally but he’s learned that he can somehow scale the ivy outside my first floor window and shout at me from 5am.

He doesn’t want anything. He can access the whole downstairs where there are many beds and food in his bowl. If I let him in he doesn’t just want to curl up on my bed, he instead continues shouting and runs downstairs to demand slightly fresher food, whilst waking the younger children.

If I get him in and just hurl him straight out the front door Flintstones style, he just climbs straight back up.

Once he’s up, he’s on a very precarious tiny windowsill. I don’t know how he even does it without falling.

YABU - continue to let the fucker in

YANBU - ignore him, leave him to his own shitty decision-making, and hope he doesn’t fall and just gives up in time

My cat used to jump out our top window and meow to get back in the front door! She hated going out, now it’s a rare occurrence for her to grace us with her presence.

Usually a good bbq gets her to tolerate us peasants 😂

Oh, and once, before I moved to this house and so he was an inside cat because of the dangerous road, I was washing up, and saw him in the back garden.

We had no catflap, none of the doors had been opened, all that had been open was the tiny vent window at the top in the upstairs bathroom, which he had managed to climb out of, onto the tiny window-ledge, then somehow get down from, injury free.

He's had other exploits as well. I say pull the curtains closed, go back to sleep and leave him to cope with the situation he's made for himself.

Do you have a super soaker? 😈

My parents had velux roof windows and their cat would climb up the roof and splay out (presumably the only way to not slide off) yelling at them like one of those car window garfields.

Or in summer, he'd just leap through and land heavily on one of them in bed (what a way to be woken up :S)

Cats are such arseholes.

Mine has learnt to open the kitchen window so he now goes out (leaving the fucking window open), wanders round to the front and then scratches at the front door. This makes the dog bark so we have to come down and let him in before the dog wakes up the whole bloody neighbourhood. He’s got a bowl of biscuits, but he wants a fresh pouch. This is all at some godforsaken hour of the morning.

Unfortunately, our downstairs windows aren’t lockable and the bloody cat has managed to break though all the gaffer tape/string/barricades we’ve tried to stop him opening the bastard window.

When our cat was younger he used to appear magically on our upstairs bedroom window sill (very narrow and no ivy to climb up on).

We finally worked out he was coming over the roof via a lean to on the back of the house. We have a thatched roof with eyebrow windows that hang low over the upstairs window.

So I guess the thatch was easy to climb, but getting from there to the window ledge was the risky bit. I like to think he was like a teenage boy who just grew up a bit and stopped the dodgy stuff.

I'm sure you have, but have you tried toddler locks? I have them for all my windows so my cats can't get out (and then be terrified of the outside!) and they work wonders!

He’s a nice cat and I have no real beef with him generally

I love this!

Can you weave some kind of high voltage electric fence into the ivy?
The buzzing might keep you awake, but after attempting to climb it once he’d probably not try again, so you could turn it off from night 2 onwards.

(I say this as a cat lover who hasn’t had a full night’s sleep for 12 years due to my own glorious cat lying on my legs all night)

This is Pippin. Pippin likes to scream at me when I’m in the shower while he sits on the window sill outside. I suspect Pippin is a pervert. There is an extension at the rear of our house with a flat room and from this he can reach the bathroom window and dds window. At night once he goes out, he will screech to be let in. And then upon being let in will run downstairs, through the kitchen to the patio door to be let back out into the backgarden. And to repeat the process another two times before we tell the prick to fuck off.
We cannot leave these windows open at night for the same reason. Pippin believes these windows are magical portals that only allow traffic one way clearly. He can come in but he cannot go out.
He will always wants to be let in through the patio door while we are eating. The patio door is in the dining room (the extension at the back) and will literally scrabble at the window at the door, scratching with his claws and practically punching the glass with his paws, screeching and yelling until one of us lets him in. We try out and out stubborn each other. Who can go the longest. Him being a knob, is ignoring him. 9 times out of ten, when he finally does get in he goes to his bowl, turns his nose up in disgust and leaves again.
He is a miserable, bitey scratchy arsehole and yet I love every furry bit of him.

@CalpolDependant 😂the hose

I am really enjoying this thread thank you OP! I'm glad I just an an arse of a dog who often thinks he is a cat (currently sat on the window sunning himself) but can't do half this shite!!

Another cat we had when I was a teenager used to come and sit on my pillow next to my head. He went through a three stage waking up programme in the very early hours to wake me up for first breakfast.

1. Purring loudly in my ear
2. Flexing his paws and sending kitty litter onto my face.
3. Finally biting me.

I was The Chosen One as I am a softy when it comes to cats.

But it meant that as a vain 17 year old, I often had cat litter in my hair and bite marks on my nose. Not the look I was going for.

@shortandpaleandoldandugly our cat used to do this, but we thought it was because she thought the weather might be better outside the front door than the back door.

Im loving this thread, “little kitty crutches”. I love how when describing cats everyone immediately uses ‘spicy’ language. ‘Arsehole, bastard, bloody, etc etc”

Mine do exactly the same (4) I leave the window open. They either paw allll over me, dribbling, head butting, purrrrrring etc, or then yowl and hammer the bedroom door.
The live mouse on my pillow was fun to catch at 4am.

If you do you've lost. I have to stay solidly 'asleep' and he'll give up and will curl up on the bed waiting for me to wake up instead

Mine goes round to the other side of the bed and wakes up DH instead.
He generally gets up.
I just stay asleep.

My mums cat used to appear asleep on her bed every morning.
Every night he was shut downstairs with food etc and cat flap.

Her bedroom window was open a crack. It was second floor, with nothing underneath it and the porch roof a good 15 feet to one side. The windo also opened the wrong way to the porch roof so he would have to go round the open edge of the window to get in.

We never saw him do it. Still don't know how he did BUT a PP on this thread may have the answer, up over the roof and drop down onto the window sill.

I might have to drive past their old house to see if that is possible!

My cat doesn't like the dog. So he sits outside the front door and waits for someone to come and get him, take him to dog free utility room and feed him (make sure you stay with him til he has eatern) they carry him to the stairs so he can go up.
He refuses to use cat flap. UNLESS we are away and then he suddenly decides he can negotiate cat flap and dog to get to his safe sleeping spot up high outside our bedroom.