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Original poster

Boys are harder than girls?!

61 replies

blipblopblip · 19/04/2023 18:10

Parent to a toddler girl, she's very sweet but very active. Walked early, constantly busy , runs and climbs , shouts just as much or maybe more than a lot of her peers. She's a hardy little thing considering she is quite petite and like most mums of toddlers I feel like I'm constantly stopping her from doing dangerous things / climbing too high jumping off etc. being a mum of a toddler is not the easiest thing- why on earth do I keep being told by friends and strangers that boys are harder. Often whilst their boy child is actually sat still whilst my toddler is attempting some death defying stunt. Am I missing something? And why on earth would you tell another mum that their child is easier based on wether or not they have a penis?!

OP posts:
AuntyMabelandPippin · 19/04/2023 18:17

It's a load of rubbish. They're not all the same. I see boys who will sit and colour for hours, while girls are jumping about and vice versa. Every child is different.

Mind you, I've found most boys are huggers. 😁

eighteenthirtyeight · 19/04/2023 18:18

Population level, boys have more boisterous energy. Individuals obviously vary.

Spendonsend · 19/04/2023 18:26

Its because you have a girl.

I have boys. All I hear is how easy boys are compared to girls

I even hear sime mums switch which sex is harder dependingbon the audience.

For some reason people like to win at 'hard'

Starhead69 · 19/04/2023 18:28

Not at all. My two are quite easy but have both had challenging moments. I wouldn’t say it’s to do with their sex
but their personality

Sirzy · 19/04/2023 18:30

Because they conscribe to the old gender stereotypes. They will also try to excuse behaviour as “boys will be boys”

YouveGotAFastCar · 19/04/2023 18:33

I have boys. All I hear is how easy boys are compared to girls

Eh, I get the opposite. "At least you've had a boy first; the next one will be easier!"

Which always makes me wonder how they know!

PickleOfAConundrum · 19/04/2023 18:35

I actually found my son was so much easier to look after than my daughter. She's a whirlwind from waking up to she goes to bed though she's been diagnosed with Autism and possibly ADHD though I highly suspect my son is on the spectrum too but was missed. My hearts in my mouth with my daughter as she's a very Tomboy nature as did I so I'd probably had my own parents nerves shattered 😂.

ChocolateBeforeBed · 19/04/2023 18:37

I only have boys! One boy was incredibly hard work as a pre schooler. He's a dream now (age 11) but still full of energy. The other child was a dream as a pre schooler, now he's a cheeky little monkey :) but still a dream at school I hear! and still can sit and be calm.

FWIW - with my little sample of two - the more difficult pre schooler has become incredibly sporty - swims 90mins a day, does football, basketball, runs around a lot. The child who was a dream pre-schooler is the kind that is now happy to sit and colour, sings in the choir, plays with 'girly' stuff (like his princess toys!!)

So, while I think it's more about personality than gender, I do think that the more boisterous pre schoolers/babies continue with more 'boy-like' pursuits as they get older. And the gentle, easier little ones continue with more traditionally 'feminine' pursuits as they get older. Maybe that's why there is this perception of boys being harder work/more boisterous etc... when little (?)

Meandfour · 19/04/2023 18:37

I’ve never ever heard girls are easier! Always boys.
“boys are easier” “boys are more affectionate” it’s all nonsense

ChocolateBeforeBed · 19/04/2023 18:43

ChocolateBeforeBed · 19/04/2023 18:37

I only have boys! One boy was incredibly hard work as a pre schooler. He's a dream now (age 11) but still full of energy. The other child was a dream as a pre schooler, now he's a cheeky little monkey :) but still a dream at school I hear! and still can sit and be calm.

FWIW - with my little sample of two - the more difficult pre schooler has become incredibly sporty - swims 90mins a day, does football, basketball, runs around a lot. The child who was a dream pre-schooler is the kind that is now happy to sit and colour, sings in the choir, plays with 'girly' stuff (like his princess toys!!)

So, while I think it's more about personality than gender, I do think that the more boisterous pre schoolers/babies continue with more 'boy-like' pursuits as they get older. And the gentle, easier little ones continue with more traditionally 'feminine' pursuits as they get older. Maybe that's why there is this perception of boys being harder work/more boisterous etc... when little (?)

Just to add ... Looking at both my children's classes at school, I'd say at least 70% of the boys are into sport, running around, needing to walk about in class, whereas about 70% of the girls are happy to sit and colour, stay in their seats etc...

So while obviously there are boys (like my youngest) that buck the trend and like to sit and colour, stay in their seat etc... And I'm sure there are plenty of girls that like to rush around and play football at break, there does seem to be more boys that are high energy and more girls that are more content to sit. And maybe this was also present in the baby and pre-school years ....

Rycbar · 19/04/2023 18:46

Hi! I teach nursery and reception.
I have amazingly behaved boys and girls.
I have little terrors who are boys and girls.

it’s nothing to do with their gender.

lucylucyapplejuicy · 19/04/2023 18:51

My girl was super easy and boy super hard but love them all the same although he's definitely given me more gray hairs haha.

Sux2buthen · 19/04/2023 18:53

I have both.
Girls are harder in every which way I can think of!!!
Meanwhile my boy is like a dream child from a book Grin
Love them all the same obviously

Ringmaster27 · 19/04/2023 18:54

I have both - 2 girls and 1 boy.
I wouldn’t say one sex is harder or easier than the other. I just find that mine present different challenges.
I find that my girls are physically easier to parent - they are more likely to do things for themselves (or at least try), they aren’t as rough and tumble…ie they’ll walk from the living room to the kitchen rather than manoeuvre like they are in the final of Ninja Warrior 🤯😂 But on the flip side they are more of an emotional/mental challenge when it comes to the attitude, arguing with me etc.
My son is the opposite. I spend 85% of the time stopping him from accidentally killing himself, and the other 25% explaining why he can’t do XYZ because it’s unsafe.

PuffinMcStuffin · 19/04/2023 18:58

It's the sort of thing stupid people say.

FourTeaFallOut · 19/04/2023 19:03

I think the local wisdom I was told went: Boys do your house in and girls do your head in.

And much as I bridled at this sweeping generalisation over a decade ago - this does seem to have played out accurately between my own and my friend's children.

Favouritefruits · 19/04/2023 19:09

I have two boys one is very chilled and easy going the other is the opposite, definitely more to do with children’s individual personalities than gender.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/04/2023 19:13

2 girls here and they've both been very easy so far. Colouring types as toddlers so easy there.
I don't have boys so can't comment, no one can really, they only have their own to go off.

MilkshakeEarthquake · 19/04/2023 19:14

I have 2 boys and 2 girls and my oldest girl has been the hardest (she does have additional needs though) I was reading on here about two kids arguing and someone asked if they were both boys (yeah because only boys argue and girls are precious little princesses 😌)

HistoryFanatic · 19/04/2023 19:17

blipblopblip · 19/04/2023 18:10

Parent to a toddler girl, she's very sweet but very active. Walked early, constantly busy , runs and climbs , shouts just as much or maybe more than a lot of her peers. She's a hardy little thing considering she is quite petite and like most mums of toddlers I feel like I'm constantly stopping her from doing dangerous things / climbing too high jumping off etc. being a mum of a toddler is not the easiest thing- why on earth do I keep being told by friends and strangers that boys are harder. Often whilst their boy child is actually sat still whilst my toddler is attempting some death defying stunt. Am I missing something? And why on earth would you tell another mum that their child is easier based on wether or not they have a penis?!

Sounds like my girl too. A lot of hard work!

HermioneHerman · 19/04/2023 19:24

I had two boys and then a fairly big age gap before having a girl who is a similar age to OP. Whatever I thought I knew about girls has gone out the window... she's my hardest, loudest, feistiest and busiest by a long way. I have a chilled out, sensitive and thoughtful boy and a classic sporty boisterous boy, so it's all these stereotypes are clearly just absolute nonsense! 😵‍💫

SuperSleepyBaby · 19/04/2023 19:29

I have 2 boys and 2 girls. One boy and one girl have similar personalities and are hard work! The other boy and girl are calmer.

the only difference i find with mine is that the girls seem a bit more switched on socially from a younger age. The seem a bit more complicated emotionally- although maybe my thinking is influenced by stereotypes.

VikingLady · 19/04/2023 19:31

Total bull. DD was the easiest child in the world until she learnt the concept of "won't" at 3. She's... got her challenges at 11 Grin (although she's lovely, just stubborn)

DS has been uniformly easy. No real meltdowns or tantrums, no drama, just an absolute ton of whirlwind energy with a cheerful face.

Sandysandwich · 19/04/2023 19:33

I have both,
when I had my son, people would tell me I was lucky because girls are so bitchy and stroppy and have all of these complicated friendship problems.
Then I had a girl and people said I was lucky because boys are noisy, boisterous and messy and I would never have a moments peace.

Turns out my son was a chill toddler who grew up tidy and sensible.
And my chatterbox whirlwind girl, has always had the easiest friendships.

Some people love to make big sweeping generalisations or decide that population wide trends will definitely define every childs personality. It doesn't really mean anything.

Coffeeandbourbons · 19/04/2023 19:35

Meandfour · 19/04/2023 18:37

I’ve never ever heard girls are easier! Always boys.
“boys are easier” “boys are more affectionate” it’s all nonsense

My experience as well.

When I had DD all I got was ‘Girls are moody little witches’ ‘they’re manipulative’ ‘wait until her teenage years, you’re in for a shock’. A plumber working on our kitchen saw DD and said he was happy he had 3 boys and he reckons they’re less hassle all together than one girl would be.

I think an awful lot of projection goes on around the makeup of other people’s families