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Original poster

Is this my gut or nerves re new job

64 replies

Galaxyfaraway1 · 19/04/2023 17:59

I’m supposed to start a new job on Monday and I really don’t want to!

Ive worked at my company for a long time, we get good benefits, the salary is ok but I would most likely be on track for a promotion this year. It’s a big company so could move internally if not.

The new job has a bigger salary but a long commute which takes a lot of it. I would be about £200 per month better off. Im so worried about the work life balance. I currently wfh 3 or 4 days and I enjoy it, we live rurally and I have time to run etc.

Also at the new job there is a high turnover and I’ve been chatting to someone who used to do the role I’m going into and they spoke negatively of it. Currently I have a team beneath me who do a lot of the admin work and in the new role I would be doing this.

On top of that. I want to ttc and I would lose my maternity benefits in a new role. Currently I receive 8 months on full pay.

Is this just nerves? Am I crazy?

OP posts:
GiltEdges · 19/04/2023 20:38

Itsanotherhreatday · 19/04/2023 19:38

Check your contract you may be penalized for not going to the new job

Never happens in reality. Not even worth worrying about.

bumblebeees · 19/04/2023 20:47

Stay. The grass isn't always greener

Casilero · 19/04/2023 20:49

Galaxyfaraway1 · 19/04/2023 19:16

It’s a £7k increase, but after commuting and salary deductions it’s only around £200 per month!

Plus if you were on track for promotion soon, you'll be better off where you are?

Lack of maternity benefits will wipe the 7k out surely?

Honestly, having twice left jobs and later regretted it, I would go with your gut and stay. It's hard starting a new role and having to prove yourself all over again. Which is stress you can do without if TTC

Also, I have a long commute and it's shit. My commute is 45 minutes in perfect travel conditions, but twice now it's taken 3 hours plus just to travel 22 miles and I've come home aching and gone straight to bed. Average commute is 90 minutes each way and it's very very tiring.

Coffeetree · 19/04/2023 20:58

Is the new role entirely in the office?

I think 7k is a good step up for your salary.

You were on-track for a promotion in Old job--doesn't mean you'd get it.

Of course I wish you the best with TTC but you're not pregnant now. Are the maternity benefits worse at new job or would you just have to wait longer for them to kick in?

I say give the new job a go. The worst that can happen is a few months in, you think, ugh, I hate this, and then go back to your old one.

BluebellBlueballs · 19/04/2023 21:01

Itsanotherhreatday · 19/04/2023 19:38

Check your contract you may be penalized for not going to the new job

She could offer to start and give notice on the first day. I bet theyd say no!

BluebellBlueballs · 19/04/2023 21:02

If you are used to wfh don't underestimate the toll a long commute and 5 days in will take.
It doesn't have to be thos job or your existing one

You can stay where you are and keep looking for something better

catherinewales · 19/04/2023 21:06

Although it's £200 a month have you thought about the extra damage to your car (if you drive) What if the trains are off and you have to get a taxi? Bus is delayed? Have you considered all this into the budget?

Original poster
Galaxyfaraway1 · 19/04/2023 21:30

Currently I go to the office once per week but it’s not mandated. It takes about an hour door to door (driving). In the new role, it’s mandated twice per week but I think the reality will be three times if not more, it’s 90 mins door to door and involves a drive and a train.

I think there would be maternity benefits in the new job but I’m unsure what they are, and how long I need to be there to get them. It means if I hate it I’ll feel even more pressure to stay to keep my service I think. No I’m not pregnant you’re right. But atm with leaving my job I’m scared to even try.

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 06:54

Okay so one day more in the office, and the differences in maternity benefits are unclear?

I think you know it's just nerves!

Honestly I think pulling out before you start is not a good move. Neither employer will be impressed with that. Jump in with both feet, really make a go of it. If after a few months you find it's not what you hoped it would be, then go back to your old job. That happens all the time.

Divebar2021 · 21/04/2023 07:08

You’ve very much positioned it to hi-light the negative aspects of the new job so presumably you want everyone to say stay where you are. I think it can be difficult to step out of your comfort zone but presumably the £7k extra was quite an attraction. Go and find out what the maternity situation is because it’s unfair to include that in the reasoning if you don’t know. As for the commute… 90 mins is moderate in my opinion. It’s not terribly long by London standards and it’s not everyday.

Paq · 21/04/2023 07:15

£200 per month is a lot given the CoL crisis and will boost your pension benefits as well.

3 days a week in the office isn't that bad. The commute isn't great. But as you say it could be only two.

If you do decide to stay can you at least use this job offer to negotiate a higher salary/faster promotion?

Itsanotherhreatday · 21/04/2023 07:28

Find out about the maternity pay -

Then work out full pay x 8 months verses the usual 6 weeks then whatever - it could even be no maternity pay if your not there long enough.

How soon were you planning a baby?

Mirabai · 21/04/2023 07:30

It’s not really worth the upheaval for 2 grand a year. WFH is a great benefit if you want to have a kid as it cuts out the commute.

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 08:21

It's 7 grand more a year.

Paq · 21/04/2023 08:29

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 08:21

It's 7 grand more a year.

Indeed. It may be an extra £200 pm in OP's pocket but it's worth more in terms of pension provision, (potentially) maternity pay and future salary increases. It all adds up.

Mirabai · 21/04/2023 09:15

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 08:21

It's 7 grand more a year.

Not after commute and salary deductions. Pension contributions are valuable for sure but so is WFH 3-4 days a week if you have a baby.

Tigofigo · 21/04/2023 09:19

If you hate it could you return to the old job?

The commute would put me off tbh, as well as the negative reviews. I took a significant pay cut equal to about 500pcm to take a job in a less toxic environment and don't regret it at all. I was lucky in that I could afford to at the time.

Have you tried negotiating for a promotion in your current job now?

Tell them you'd be willing to stay in return for a promotion?

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 09:43

Mirabai · 21/04/2023 09:15

Not after commute and salary deductions. Pension contributions are valuable for sure but so is WFH 3-4 days a week if you have a baby.

Show quote history

Yeah but she's literally said it's mandated two days per week? Which gives 3 days WFH?

Mirabai · 21/04/2023 09:52

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 09:43

Yeah but she's literally said it's mandated two days per week? Which gives 3 days WFH?

Show quote history

Yeah but she’s literally said that the reality will be 3x or more and the commute is an hour and a half.

billy1966 · 21/04/2023 09:53

OP, not a chance I would move for such a job, for so little money.

Commuting is exhausting and that distance 3 times a week is a lot.

Also a high turnover and you have been given a heads up that it isn't great?

Definitely not.

That extra commuting should be factored into your work hours, further reducing the £200 a month extra.

Not worth it.

Keep looking for another job, but definitely not this one.

billy1966 · 21/04/2023 09:56

If you have 9 hrs commuting extra a week then that is 25% increase in your work week.

For £200?

Definitely not worth it.

DrManhattan · 21/04/2023 09:56

Not sure why you would apply and go through all the recruitment processes if it only works out at an an extra £200 per month and loads of extra drama? Why did you do that? Anyways sounds like you have made your mind up to stay. All the best.

Coffeetree · 21/04/2023 09:57

Mirabai · 21/04/2023 09:52

Yeah but she’s literally said that the reality will be 3x or more and the commute is an hour and a half.

Show quote history

She said it's mandated 2× week but she thinks it'll be more?

If the contract/offer specifies 2x week she could stick to that? Then if they genuinely hustle her for more, she'd have every right to say it wasn't what she signed up for.

I still think it's cold feet.

Iwillhavethefullenglishplease · 21/04/2023 10:02

Listen to your gut. I didn't and told myself it was just nerves. I have regretted it every day since.

whoamI00 · 21/04/2023 10:09

£200 per month isn't worth the change. Stay