Have you ever gone through with something you knew would end badly?

[thecoperope]

I think it is called being willfully blind.

I have a few, my dad took our dog for a walk at the park without me. I really wanted alone time as I shared a room so I stayed. But I couldn't relax, instead I sat at the top of the stairs waiting for them to come home. My moms mobile rung and I thought 'this is it' and it was. The dig was run over, he didn't die but was put down shortly afterwards. I knew I should have gone, I promised I would walk him every day and the day I didn't go he got run over. I knew it from the moment they left the door that I should have gone.

it wasn't a woo moment, because I knew my dad would walk him to the nearest park with rubbish fencing but I still let him go.

I have a couple more but this one makes me feel so guilty. I knew it but I thought everything would be OK

@thecoperope ah I think you should cut yourself some slack here. It wasn’t your fault.

You’ve learnt from what happened and probably next time wouldn’t trust the person in that situation. But life is a learning curve. It would be more forgiving of you to forgive yourself here.

When I was 20, a friend invited me to go on a week long holiday to Ireland. We took a ferry a foot passengers and then my friend decided we should thumb a lift across the country to Galway. She figured that it would be OK to do in Ireland🙄

I though she was an idiot.

We got our first lift from a HGV, a French guy who was nice, gave us some fruit and a can of coke.

Second lift was from a car with two men inside, seemed about our age, I didn't want to get in the car but my friend did, so I followed. I knew it was stupid.

They picked us up outside Limerick and two hours later we were nowhere near Galway, they stopped at some random house and invited us inside for a drink. I said no, my friend said yes, we ended up sitting around a god awful kitchen table, drinking vodka and Guinness and smoking roll-ups, we were there for hours and I started to feel very odd. Not exactly drunk, but just out of it, hadn't eaten all day, I remember falling off the stool, then nothing.

I woke up on the floor of a bedroom wearing just my knickers. I was the only one in the room. I panicked, started to shout for my friend but she didn't answer. I took a sheet from the bed to cover myself and searched the house, there was nobody there.

I just freaked out, started to cry, shake, couldn't figure out what to do.

Next thing a car pulled up outside. My friend got out with the two men, they had bread and sausages. It was apparently the next day. I was still crying, my friend took me into the bedroom and brought my clothes back from the other bedroom!

She explained that I had passed out, they were all drunk and decided to put me to bed. She said she remembered taking my jeans off, and pulling the blankets over me, but couldn't be sure of which bedroom I was in.

She said that the two men both tried it on with her and she felt scared, she had sex with one of them because she thought he would have just forced her sooner or later, he fell asleep after. She woke up and the guy she had sex with was in the kitchen, he insisted she go with them to get food. She said one of them was playing with a kitchen knife and she was afraid to say no.

We got out through the bedroom window and ran across some fields, we ended up at a small village and went into the post office. I was still in shock and the lady in the post office made us tea and let us sit in her front room.

She gave us a lift to Tralee bus station, we were nowhere near Galway, those two men lied to us, they drove us in the opposite direction for two hours!

We did stay for the rest of the week. I still have no idea what happened to me, how I ended up in just my knickers, I don't know if I was raped, the whole incident is a blank.

I do wonder about those two men though, who they were, what would have happened if we hadn't climbed out of the window.

I searched for the house once on Google Earth and I think I found it, can't be sure, but the fields and the building where the post office was look about right.

Still get chills when I think about it now.

@onefinemess bloody hell!! You're so lucky you're still alive to tell the tale.

OMG @onefinemess what a terrible thing to happen and yet you hear people saying that things like that turn out well etc. thank god you both got out alive. I watched a comedy show last night and Jo Brand was talking about hitching in the 70s through London and Kent when she was 17 and how it all seemed ok, a woman tried it on with her and then a nice man drove her home even though it was miles out of his way etc.

But I digress - and this is a really good idea for a thread OP - particularly when you specify we are not talking about "woo" feelings but just that dread knowing you are probably doing the wrong thing, but at the same time feeling that you should have the confidence to go through with it - does that make sense?

I've got quite a few, but one that stands out to me first off is when I was persuaded that my dog needed an exploratory operation, was presented to me as an entirely reasonable thing to do. The morning I handed him over the vet said are you sure you want to go through with this and I thought why are you asking me, you are the one who has been lobbying to have this done, you told me it wasn't a big deal? So I said yes. To cut a long and harrowing story short, we had to have the dog put to sleep a month later, one "complication" after another. I know the vet was at fault, but I blame myself entirely. Apparently if you experience something like this, its harder to deal with if you feel that your decision "caused" it.

bloody hell @onefinemess that's absolutely horrible! I hope you're OK, poor thing well done for running away and I guess I hope the not knowing is better than knowing. it's hard because you can't leave your friend to be in a dangerous situation alone.

I have a less sinister one similar, my mom was trying to whip me with a thick wire so me and my sister ran out of the house (age 15/16) sister got caught but I kept running. I asked 2 young men for a cigarette and then followed them down the road, the opposite side for about a mile. They shouted and asked if I was OK and wanted another one? I said yes, they said are you ok etc and I said yeah but i can't go home and they said they'd find me somewhere to go. So I roamed the streets with them. They kindly offered to break a window for me so I could spend the night in a police cell, I declined. Then they took me to the notorious drug dealers house for a bit, while I kept stood there like a lemon and eventually one had to go home at 3am and the other invited me to a 50 year old junkies house where he stayed with me until I was asleep and snuck off in the might ready for me to wake up and freak out in the morning. The guy left the front door open so I snook out and I was only 2 roads away from my house.

I could have had what happened to you or worse but lucky for me I was safe. They did say 'you know we could rape and kill you if we wanted to, you shouldn't go off with men you don't know'. I knew it and carried on with them. What an idiot!

@HangerLaneGyratorySystem oh my love, poor thing. That's dreadful, it's not your fault. We do put too much trust in white coats.

My son had an accident and ended up with a fairly bad injury at 1 years old. We took him to a and e and got him stitched up. because he was so small he needed a check up the week after but it was covid times and he had developed a temperature. I called to ask if I can still take him in, they said no temperatures but didn't say that a temperature after having an open wound is a sign of sepsis.
Long story short, he nearly died and was incredibly poorly. I wish I had never called beforehand. I didn't know, I just blindly followed the wrong advice.

To make things worse the hospital called social services on us for not bringing him to the appointment they told us not to bring him to! So we had to deal with that on top of everything else.

To make things worse the hospital called social services on us for not bringing him to the appointment they told us not to bring him to! So we had to deal with that on top of everything else.

OMFG.

I feel we are going to see some very difficult posts on this thread, but as I say I am still thinking it's a really good topic. What made you think of posting this today OP?

Yes.
I grew some balls 3 years later and divorced him.

After our sixth form prom the bus dropped us back to school and we had to make our own way homes. We were going to stay at a friend's. There weren't enough taxis (rural East Anglia) so a mate got her boyfriend to come and give the rest of us a lift. He was a proper Gary Boy in a souped up car and it was about midnight - I just knew he would drive like a total dick, partly to impress his gf. I could have called my parents to collect me but thought I'd look like a right twat refusing the lift so I got in the car for the 8 mile journey along country lanes.

He drove so fast, and so recklessly I genuinely thought I was going to die that night. I was petrified. I still go cold thinking about it now. I don't know how we didn't have an accident, I can only assume that he was used to driving like that and knew his car and the roads well.

Large vodka when we got to my friends house! (And I did thank him for the lift cos I'm so polite!)

I've NC. I'm doing exactly this. I've reconnected with someone I knew when I was younger. He has cancer (secondary). I'm falling in love with him and it's madness. I'm setting myself up for almighty heartbreak and should just get out now, but I can't. I hate this.

I actually was having a second coffee knowing how upset my stomach will be later, and o was proven right !

@Edwardandtubbs oh I have loads of those. Never has a lift from a woman like this but all men have been 'uh huh yeah those car can go 120mph... let's go down the duel carriageway...'
dumb ass.

@palaceinsider e oh my lovely, I hope it all turns out well x

Oh dear, mine are trivial in comparison.

I bought a pair of shoes which were too small. They were too small when I tried them on but the woman was huffing and puffing so I just bought them. What an idiot.

I turned down the wedding invite from a dear friend to go on holiday with another 'dear' friend who was a total cow to me. Knew it was a bad plan and it was.

Took me 10

Trivial: yes, I recently bought a wedding outfit that will NEVER fit me. Idiot!
Less trivial: yes, I moved back to a place 18m ago that made me miserable before. I thought if I just 'tried harder' it would be ok 2nd time around. It won't.

@onefinemess - what an awful story - did you have to leave all your luggage etc or did you manage to take that with you?

Also trivial - my son was going to be in a production at school, it was 15 minutes after drop off in the morning. A mum friend said, let's go and get a coffee while we wait. I KNEW we didn't really have time, but I really wanted a coffee...
I missed my son's only line in the whole thing. He was on first apparently.

Induction with my first child. I knew it was a bad idea. The head consultant had already planned to induce me at 20 weeks and couldn’t explain why other than baby looked small to her and wanted to do an amino. Alarm bells went off with the way she said it to us so convinced my DH that we needed to get a second opinion from a foetal specialist. Specialist adamant that it wasn’t needed and shouldn’t have been proposed. Baby is healthy, growing properly, yes small, but nothing indicative of IUGR. 4 weeks later baby looked big to her. Throughout sonographers saying he was healthy and even one who had been there 20+years saying “didn’t see what the consultants were on about”. Got to 36 weeks and told they still wanted to induce me and I said no since there was no evidence. Told they needed to do a Doppler test to check the placenta. Tested twice, no issues. Still wanted to induce me, stillbirth stats quoted (outdated and a tactic used to convince pregnant women to induce I learned afterward), telling me I was harming my baby, killing him by not inducing. Caved just so they would leave me alone, three weeks of them doing this. I knew he wasn’t big. I could feel his head or his feet but never at the same time. A few days before 39 weeks, he was estimated just under 7.5 pounds.

Induction failed, 3 days to get to 3 cm, DH and I verbally abused, emcs and baby was blue (wasn’t disclosed until after I reported them).

Baby was a massive 6lb and 14oz as I expected since both my DH and I were 7.5 pounds and under when born, both of us slender people, smallest kids in our classes when children, and both of our mothers never had children above 7.5 lbs.

Reported them, hospital not only agreed it was unnecessary but they couldn’t explain why it was done in the first place.

Oldest is 8, autistic, doesn’t say many words, makes lots of sounds so hoping he one day says a full sentence.

I live with the questions, everyday what would have happened if I had been stronger and told them “where to go” but of course, think they probably would have made things worse for me and make me out as combative even though I was polite every time, never raised my voice, only asked questions like many new mum would, just didn’t believe in not having evidence. Or, got a second opinion, even though it was expensive. Change hospitals, but if anything were to go wrong at another hospital, I would have still ended up there.

It was the last time I went against my instincts.

Goodness, this was not your fault at all!

Once I got a lift from college with my friend, her friend was driving. I honestly thought I was going to Be in acar crash his driving was so bad. I kept thinking 'no-one will know where Iam, they won't know its me in the car, how will they identify me?' That was 35yrs ago and I still think about how scared I was! I also thanked him for the lift when I got out!

I was going to say marriage.

When my dd had her first baby I was very involved as she was a single mom, the dad was not very involved. I'd gone round to see them and the dad was there. And I was made to feel unwelcome by him. I had an overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't leave but I thought I was being silly and overprotective. I remember this feeling of dread as I walked home. Literally felt physically sick.

This monster tried to kill his newborn son not long after I left.

I'm known for being a bit overprotective but my guts never been wrong. Now if I feel it I act on it. But I wish I hadn't left that day so so much

Once tried a stupid thing at the gym that I knew I didn't really have the skill / fitness level for, but thought ah sod it may as well give it a go. Overbalanced, fell, landed badly, broke arm in 3 places. That taught me an important lesson about not overestimating myself!

That's horrific I am so sorry to read that, I hope your DD and her child are OK now

Snap. 4 years though, and I got my amazing eldest out of the whole shitty experience.