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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to do - dog related

181 replies

Dogconfused · 19/04/2023 08:40

my partner and I want to get a dog but cannot decide between trying to get a rescue or a puppy. Pls can people offer advice/opinions?
we have thought long and hard about the pros and cons of each…
Rescue pros

  • helping a dog in need
  • helping a charity
  • Dog may be less needy than a puppy
  • can get clearer idea of dogs character
  • cheaper
Rescue cons
  • don’t know genetic/health/physical history of dog
  • Potentially harder to train than a puppy
  • Would be from abroad so (low) risk of parasitic disease (would be tested for these)
Puppy pros
  • more choice over what we get and when we get it
  • more knowledge of puppies past and parents health etc
  • potentially easier to train as stating from young
Puppy cons
  • not helping a rescue
  • cost is higher
  • potentially more needy at beginning

we have given it a lot of thought, but cannot decide what option is best for us (and the potential dog). We are definitely in favour of rescues but want to make sure we get the right dog for us.

for context, we are first time dog owners who have no children or other pets. We have a large garden and live in a town. We enjoy longer walks, paddle boarding, beer gardens etc. We would want a dog to come out and do things with us. We would want a small dog as our car is small.

if we got a rescue it would be from Romania but from a charity with a UK presence and support system. If we got a puppy it would be from a licensed breeder with lots of research into them etc.

Sorry that’s long but didn’t want to drip feed.
all opinions gladly received!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ItsCalledAConversation · 20/04/2023 17:08

I wouldn’t get a Romanian rescue, one of my (very horsey, experienced dog owner, totally responsible owner/animal trainer) got one and it was off its rocker, she couldn’t do anything with it or take it anywhere, it was crap with children, incredibly anxious and reactive, it took a good year to sort it out, she wasn’t working and didn’t have kids so had every second of the day to spend with it. Steer well clear.

Buildingthefuture · 20/04/2023 19:40

@FurAndFeathers I am fully up to date with all leishmaniasis research and I’ve obviously seen those articles before, they aren’t recent (2016 and 2019). In the case from Germany BOTH dogs had travelled abroad. In the UK case it is equally possible that the infected dog had contracted Leish from its mother.
And, if you know anything about Leish, you know that tests before travel are largely immaterial. Even with a negative test prior to transport, a dog can go on to develop Leish at any time, due to the ability of the parasite to lay dormant. Given the sheer number of dogs imported into the UK from Leish endemic countries, the fact that a large percentage of those will be carriers but will never be symptomatic or diagnosed, plus the number of dogs that are knowingly imported with Leish, if it was zoonotic, we’d be seeing it. It’s hard to prove a negative, but we simply aren’t seeing transmission in the UK. And, given the prejudice to “Trojan” dogs in the UK, if it was there, various agencies would be shouting it from the rooftops.
As the climate in the UK changes, we may well become a habitat for the sandfly and things might change, but for now, Leish dogs pose no risk to animals or humans in the UK.

Floralnomad · 20/04/2023 19:44

There are enough unwanted dogs in this country and personally I think the importing of rescue animals should be banned in its current form . Get a uk rescue .

phlebasconsidered · 20/04/2023 20:34

Ok. I have 2 uk rescues. Both got when my kids were little and I was a stay at home mum. Tried to get another rescue when I went back to work. Flat no from over 15 rescues. Because I am working with 2 teens. Despite the fact that my in laws are in my house with my dogs walking them. We tried and tried again but because I worked it was a no. Despite having 2 happy rescues.

So my rommie rescue arrived 2 years ago and she is a joy. There are no issues, follow up was great, uk support has been great and we love her. It was a minimum payment and no more than I paid for uk rescues. My vet (who is himself from europe) says she is fit as anything and no problems. He says even a nuclear war may not kill her she is so healthy! She has far less problems than the uk rescues I had because she was so socialised with other dogs. she's a real social butterfly.

So now she has a quick walk at 5am with me, then a snooze, then a good walk with my in laws at 10 with my old dogs They stay till 2, then the dogs snooze, then I get back at 5 This is the hideous life no uk rescue would let me add a dog to.

I don't say a rescue or a romie rescue is for everyone but my goodness the thought that my lovely dog could have ended up euthanized in a cruel way there but now she is 100% one of the kindest most intelligent dogs i've owned in 50 years. People are very prejudiced.

Noodles1234 · 20/04/2023 21:16

Battersea Dogs Home say from PoG Love of Dogs (and I’m sure others) check personalities of their animals and check for any medical issues. You get advised of any issues and they will recommend what age range of children etc. They spend weeks assessing things like can they be with cats, what makes them happy or annoyed.

for the money they are castrated, have a health check (and possible operations), and a microchip.

just check the breeds, as sadly there are a lot of the same few types of breeds in rescue places.

lljkk · 20/04/2023 22:43

is anyone following SophieFromRomania on Twitter?
It's sad story because she's taking so long to adapt and become a pet.
She is progressing, but so so so slowly.
Not a difficult dog but seemingly very timid.

The journalist who got her had a placid family dog (also Romie rescue) previously, but Sophie is a much harder nut to crack.

There have been a few stories on here of nightmare dogs acquired as puppies but hugely problematic after years of trying to resolve their issues, even well bred cared for puppies aren't guaranteed to become nice pets.

PotatoScollop · 20/04/2023 22:46

Dear lord, do not post on mumsnet that you want to rehome a foreign dog. You get the 'WHAT ABOUT OUR OWN THO' brigade out with pitchforks before you can even blink.

I have two romanian rescues. And I'll have a third, and foster too. I won't keep any more dogs than three though, and will only get more when they pass (hopefully it will be of old age).

It's a wonderfully rewarding thing, to adopt an overseas dogs. Many of them suffer terrors that just aren't a thing in British culture. Thousands of dogs are killed in Romania because no one wants them, and they need more space for other stray dogs to come in. In conclusion, they really are much more in need of love and kindness, than in the UK. UK rescues are generally good, ethical places. The same cannot be said for public shelters abroad - do some research of the starvation, injuries, and suffering the dogs in public shelters abroad go through, it is unimaginable in the UK.

All this being said, it is NOT for everyone, and I certainly would not recommend it for everyone, nor would I recommend it for a first time dog owner that has no experience of growing up and taking an active part in the home with dogs. You mention beer gardens? Forget about it. Maybe in 3-5 years. Probably not. You may not even be able to take it for a walk down your own street for the first 4 months, like in the case of our first. The likelihood is, and although there are exceptions, they really are just that, exceptions, you will find yourself with a dog who is seriously anxious ridden, will need some form of rehabilitation, behavourists, and a solid actual interest in animal behaviour, and honestly, a firm interest in working with dogs with challenging behaviours. You will find odd new behaviours popping up for up to 18 months after adoption, all challenges to get through. This being said, if you are adopting one that has already spent a good deal of time in foster in the UK, you will have a bit of an easier ride of it. Mine came direct from Romania, which is a different kettle of fish.

They are very eager to learn, and actually extremely easy to train. They're usually eager to please, but very fearful in some way or another. I was bitten by my first one, it was a redirected fear bite from a stranger, but regardless it's upsetting. She also had gone for us on a small handful of occasions. Oddly though, she's the most affectionate dog I've had. But, we understand we will always need to careful of her.

It's not an easy route, and please don't do it just to potentially send it away when a behaviour that might be too much for you to cope with, crops up. The beer garden comment, along with wanting the dog to come everywhere with you, whilst is a lovely sentiment, is not always suitable for these dogs, and can overwhelm, stress and riddle them with anxiety further to the point it's harmful. You won't really know, until you get it. Such statements tell me, in the kindest possible way, to please research a hell of a lot further.

PotatoScollop · 20/04/2023 22:52

Just to add, with super hard work, they can really fit in. It's took us a long time. Whilst some anxious behaviours are still there, in general, I can tell you they are the best behaved dogs in our street. That honestly could be an owner thing though. There's some shit useless owners in our area.

DangerousAlchemy · 21/04/2023 07:46

My good friend, who is a head vet nurse, and her mum (also a vet nurse & dog trainer) bought a Rotti puppy from a reputable breeder a few years ago (having previously owned a lovely Rotti rescue) & they've had no end of trouble with her. She's hugely reactive to other dogs, extremely strong on the lead & needs both of them to walk her twice a day. So you just can't always tell what sort of puppy you're buying from a breeder. Rescue all the way for me & only look abroad as a last resort if all UK rescues say no.

Dogconfused · 21/04/2023 09:23

Thanks all.
we are in south west London. Happy to travel where ever but aware some rescues like people to be local in case support/back up etc is needed.
Our vet (to be) also suggested a greyhound however it would be too big for our circumstances - we really need a dog that we can pick up and will only take up half the back seat in the car. So probably corgi size max.
the more I read peoples replies the more conflicted I get! But the variety of replies does make me feel slightly better about our inability to come to the ‘right decision’

OP posts:
Wexone · 21/04/2023 09:48

@Dogconfused please do not rule out greyhounds completely. There is a reason your vet and others on this page are recommending them as 1st time pets. They are low-maintenance, gentle and laid-back dogs that don't need lots of exercise. They also do not take up as much space as you think. Lurchers and whippets are all part of the greyhound family and you can get some beautiful petite breeds too. Just because they are a small dog does not mean they will be what you want them to be

Rhondaa · 21/04/2023 10:54

'please do not rule out greyhounds completely. There is a reason your vet and others on this page are recommending them as 1st time pets. They are low-maintenance, gentle and laid-back dogs that don't need lots of exercise.'

Yes but tbf they are quite unattractive dogs and many people do go on the cuteness factor when finding a pet, perhaps the op doesn't but many do. Also I'm not sure it'd be a good idea in a flat as they can have episodes of running around frantically. The op would be better off finding a trained spaniel or similar.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/04/2023 11:24

We were first time dog owners and adopted from the dogs trust. Found them very supportive and helpful. They were very honest about him he’d been with them about a month before he was advertised. He’s been a fantastic addition to our life.

Phgty · 21/04/2023 12:16

Rhondaa · 21/04/2023 10:54

'please do not rule out greyhounds completely. There is a reason your vet and others on this page are recommending them as 1st time pets. They are low-maintenance, gentle and laid-back dogs that don't need lots of exercise.'

Yes but tbf they are quite unattractive dogs and many people do go on the cuteness factor when finding a pet, perhaps the op doesn't but many do. Also I'm not sure it'd be a good idea in a flat as they can have episodes of running around frantically. The op would be better off finding a trained spaniel or similar.

Greyhounds unattractive?

Give your head a wobble, they're gorgeous. The long nose! The loving eyes! The famous greyhound lean; they're adorable.

Wexone · 21/04/2023 14:01

greyhounds are adorable and are actually perfect for apartment living. that's why the vet they spoke to recommended them as a 1st dog to get. Once they get their small bit of exercise they are quite happy to lie on the sofa. op better off getting a trained spaniel ? they are hunting dogs they are a bundle of energy that never sit still. require loads of exercise. wouldn't recommend at all for 1st time dog. if the op is only getting a dog for its cuteness factor I recommend they get themselves a Teddy bear

Blondewithredlips · 21/04/2023 14:06

I am biased. Get a rescue. Save one dog and make space for another poor dog that needs help.

I got a 2 year old rescue. Swerved the puppy stage. She had been with a foster and her manners are equisite and she came toilet trained. She has rescue backup in case I cannot keep her (hell would freeze over first).

She is the most wonderful dog who had such a wretched life before I got her.

I can recommend the charity if you message me.

Blondewithredlips · 21/04/2023 14:08

The charity cover South London too.

Rhondaa · 21/04/2023 14:20

Wexone · 21/04/2023 14:01

greyhounds are adorable and are actually perfect for apartment living. that's why the vet they spoke to recommended them as a 1st dog to get. Once they get their small bit of exercise they are quite happy to lie on the sofa. op better off getting a trained spaniel ? they are hunting dogs they are a bundle of energy that never sit still. require loads of exercise. wouldn't recommend at all for 1st time dog. if the op is only getting a dog for its cuteness factor I recommend they get themselves a Teddy bear

Greyhounds are big. Skinny but big. Imo a flat isn't an ideal place as space is limited.

Not all spaniels are hunting dogs. I know many that sit on laps all day. Anyway, my point was they need a smaller dog as the op herself infact said, 'corgi' size which I wouldn't describe a greyhound. What about a shih tzu op? They're small and easy care walk wise.

As an aside I wonder why ex racers aren't better provided for, it seems such a shame rescues are full of retired greyhounds with their owners apparently having absolutely no responsibility.

PurplePineapple1 · 21/04/2023 14:21

Nap1983 · 19/04/2023 08:50

I feel bad saying this but I’d never get a rescue (barring a few circumstances) every one I see when out walking had issues either dog reactive, people reactive, nervous or had separation anxiety. You don’t really know their history especially ones “rescued” from abroad.

Every dog I see now that is untrained and uncontrolled and unhappy is the mongrel poodle crosses that millions of fools bought in lockdown.

Wexone · 21/04/2023 14:41

Rhondaa · 21/04/2023 14:20

Greyhounds are big. Skinny but big. Imo a flat isn't an ideal place as space is limited.

Not all spaniels are hunting dogs. I know many that sit on laps all day. Anyway, my point was they need a smaller dog as the op herself infact said, 'corgi' size which I wouldn't describe a greyhound. What about a shih tzu op? They're small and easy care walk wise.

As an aside I wonder why ex racers aren't better provided for, it seems such a shame rescues are full of retired greyhounds with their owners apparently having absolutely no responsibility.

Greyhounds are good apartment dogs because of their calm temperament and because they don’t require a lot of space to live. They are dogs that adapt easily to their environment that have little grooming and exercise needs. Geyhounds come in all shapes and sizes. Their own vet even recommended it to them
Shit tzu are lively dogs that require a lot of training at a young age, if this is not done then they become uncontrolled. Same with spaniels, high engertic that require lots of training exercise and patience. By also going this reoute you are potentially going down the puppy farming route. You can get Pettie greyhounds, lurchers or whippets. Thet don't grow very big
The whole greyhound industry is another thread which thankfully is slowly going out of fashion
If i were the OP here i would listen to their veta nd also talk to rescuses like @Dixiechickonhols said they give so much support. Also fostering is such a good start and really opens your eyes to what is required to mind a dog

LuvSmallDogs · 21/04/2023 14:46

I'd go breeder anytime.

My dog is from a breeder, puppyhood could be annoying at times but that's it - she's bomb proof, has been moved to different homes with me, adjusted to my children (got her over 13 years ago, before I even met DH), great in beer gardens, great with people, gets on with some dogs, doesn't care for large dogs but certainly isn't vicious to them, good recall, fine off lead if circumstances allow for it.

All this, no puppy club, no behavioural expert, she was taught by me and family at home.

PlinkPlonkFizz · 21/04/2023 15:05

JulieHoney · 19/04/2023 09:23

With only one exception, every rescue dog I’ve known has had significant behavioural issues. They aren’t an easy option.

Three of the most serious behavioural issues in dogs of friends were in fact bought as puppies, so avoiding rescue dogs is no guarantee. Your commitment to fixing any potential issues in your dog (which cost money, time, planning, effort and repetition, along with likely changing your routines) is the real question.

2bazookas · 21/04/2023 15:23

Why import an unknown rescue dog, potential carrier of diseases that don't existin UK, from an uncertain background?

If you get a rescue dog from a reputable UK rescue charity, it physical age health and condition will be an open book (vet examined). The charity will have made a good assessment of their character and behaviour. There are many reasons much loved well behaved family UK pets get rehomed ( divorce, human illness or death, change of work/housing) so it's just not true that all adult rescue dogs are hard to train. Some of my own rescue dogs needed none at all; they'd been well brought up and cared for by previous owners. Others needed some training (never been in a car, a garden, been around livestock and children) but it was relatively swift; because an adult dog has more physiological and mental maturity than a tiny piddly chewy know-nothing pup .

I walk dogs for a rescue/rehome charity and some are lovely healthy friendly dogs with no bad habits, reliably housetrained, know their name, good report fromprevious owner, carefully assessed/confirmed by the charity. Ideal for first time dog owners.

UNLIKE street dogs from Roumania, who may have never have been on a lead, lived in a home or been around children, have a totally unknown history, may have run in feral packs acquiring undesirable behaviours around other dogs and strangers; defensive aggression, starving and hunting to eat, guarding food.

ALL puppies need extensive training in every respect.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/04/2023 15:32

Our dog from dogs trust had been with an elderly lady we believe who had gone in home or died.
He was fully toilet trained.
They assessed him - his description was very accurate, neutered him and cleaned his teeth. He’s a small fluffy dog he would have cost a lot from a puppy breeder. They aren’t all undesirable breeds in rescues.
We had to do 2 visits. Then an evening dog adoption class. Then get a vet letter saying we had registered him with vet. I think they sometimes do a home visit too. They had a helpline to ring if you needed advice.
For us as newbies getting support helped he has a local dog walker, dog groomer and we go on a monthly walk with experienced dog owners.
No regrets at all. I’d definitely adopt from them again. Cost £125 donation.

2bazookas · 21/04/2023 15:49

As an aside I wonder why ex racers aren't better provided for, it seems such a shame rescues are full of retired greyhounds with their owners apparently having absolutely no responsibility.

The large numbers who appear in rescues for rehoming are only the tip of the iceberg; and they are the ones who DID have responsible owners.

.Something like 10,000 track dogs are either discarded or "retire" from racing every year in UK and Ireland. Racers retire by age 5 or 6; the greyhound lifespan is 10 to 14. . More get put down in their prime, than rehomed.

As for "not needing much living space", hah! Greyhounds love to stretch out full length and upside down on a throne raised off the floor such as their owners bed (preferably under the duvet) , or a large sofa. Must be a three-seater for the length. We had to buy another sofa so we could sit down..