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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if a house is haunted before I buy it

232 replies

pineapple7peach · 18/04/2023 13:13

As the title says. Irrational childhood fear which I never grew out of. I don't know if I even believe in the paranormal but my worst nightmare is buying a house I'm too frightened to live in.

Would I be an embarrassment if I asked the estate agent/seller this question?

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 18/04/2023 14:04

. that's coming up for forty years.
Typo. Thirty years.

BreviloquentBastard · 18/04/2023 14:05

Wouldn't want to buy a house off me. We hid little spooky things all over our house when we sold it just to mess with the new owners a bit.

We did also leave them champagne and truffles so hopefully that balances out our karma.

Irritateandunreasonable · 18/04/2023 14:05

I’m embarrassed reading your question. Do it if you want but yes, ofc it’s ridiculous.

Seas164 · 18/04/2023 14:06

StopStartStop · 18/04/2023 14:02

The creepiest thing that happened in that house was one night when I was praying, I heard a voice say clearly 'You know you're praying to an empty sky?'

I think some might call that a sign....

JassyRadlett · 18/04/2023 14:07

WhatHoMarjorie · 18/04/2023 13:28

why would you care?

Show quote history

Because the buyer sounds irrational and I'd be massively worried about how they'd handle the rest of the sale and what they'd choose to care about/freak out about during the sale period.

YesitsBess · 18/04/2023 14:07

PuttingDownRoots · 18/04/2023 14:04

My housemates think our house is haunted.

Lived here 200 years and never noticed anything myself.

😄

Comedycook · 18/04/2023 14:08

No don't ask.

What on earth do you think they'll say anyway? Oh yes, it's definitely haunted!

There's been billions and billions of people on this earth through thousands and thousands of years. There's probably not a square foot on earth where someone hasn't died at some point in history.

FishChipsMushyPeas · 18/04/2023 14:09

When we were renovating ours I used to ask the old man if he was happy with what we were doing! I didnt want him to feel unwelcome. I sound crazy now I look back!

RedHelenB · 18/04/2023 14:09

MatildaTheCat · 18/04/2023 13:16

In a word, yes.

Maybe you need a new- build?

Depends what it was built on, have you not seen Ghosts and the plague village?

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 18/04/2023 14:11

"I wouldn't ask, no. But I would do something about the fear. PM me if you'd like to talk to someone who's been through it."

Beware people trying to sell you coaching via PM OP.

MavisMcMinty · 18/04/2023 14:11

I am definitely using @PuttingDownRoots answer if I ever sell this house and am asked if it’s haunted!

slimdown · 18/04/2023 14:12

But if it is haunted they won't tell you the truth in fear of not offloading the haunted house......

Ducksurprise · 18/04/2023 14:14

I accidently watched unsolved mysteries on Netflix the one with the haunted flat. Op, I suggest you don't.

WhatHoMarjorie · 18/04/2023 14:14

JassyRadlett · 18/04/2023 14:07

Because the buyer sounds irrational and I'd be massively worried about how they'd handle the rest of the sale and what they'd choose to care about/freak out about during the sale period.

Show quote history

fair enough

OnMyWayToSenility · 18/04/2023 14:20

As an ex estate agent I've viewed some properties that none of us liked going to, as we usually turn up before the clients get there and are alone for 5/10 minutes. Finding back door keys opening windows, checking all the rooms are decent (you'd be surprised what people leave lying around 🤣)

Only a few out of hundreds of properties! I don't remember ever being asked us if they were haunted. But they usually took a long time to sell. 😬

So just really take in the atmosphere of each room and if you feel happy warm and safe and can see yourself living there you are onto a winner!

MouthfulofMidwinter · 18/04/2023 14:21

JassyRadlett · 18/04/2023 14:07

Because the buyer sounds irrational and I'd be massively worried about how they'd handle the rest of the sale and what they'd choose to care about/freak out about during the sale period.

Show quote history

Absolutely. I mean, if I'm choosing between a buyer who's asking sensible questions about extension dates or boundaries or one who appears to be a gibbering loon suffering from irrational fears about imaginary spirits inhabiting a house she might buy, I know which one I'm going to think is a safer bet.

A more cynical person might think that the OP is gullible enough to be talked into a higher selling price to include a full exorcism, sage-burning, salt-sprinkling etc, mind you....

OP, do that. Phone up and ask the estate agent. Who will put you on hold, shout to the office 'Listen to this loon!' and then put you on speaker and get you to explain in detail exactly what type of ghosties you are afraid might be inhabiting Number Two, Suburban Avenue.

Trinity65 · 18/04/2023 14:21

YesitsBess · 18/04/2023 13:16

I'm not sure how an agent might quantify haunted ?

'Delightful rear aspect, with garden laid to lawn and mature shrub surround. Occasional Woman in White spotted mournfully walking through flint wall to rear of birdbath'

😆😆

StopStartStop · 18/04/2023 14:25

Seas164 · 18/04/2023 14:06

I think some might call that a sign....

Show quote history

Someone told me not all gifts are from God. I think that applies to messages, too.

TheNoodlesIncident · 18/04/2023 14:26

So just really take in the atmosphere of each room and if you feel happy warm and safe and can see yourself living there you are onto a winner!

This is your best bet really. I wouldn't think to ask the question but if I felt uneasy in a house I simply wouldn't view again. Obviously if you're asked for feedback you say "The garden was smaller than I'd thought" rather than "It reminded me of Amityville"

Laiste · 18/04/2023 14:29

I'm not going to ridicule you OP because i've had some very odd experiences myself, and i'f not want to move into a house with anything going on.

However i wouldn't ask.
I would google the address/the street for starters and look for any old local newpaper reports about anything.
I would ask for a few minutes alone during the viewing to get a sense of the place in peace.

Beyond that you've just got to take your chances.

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 18/04/2023 14:32

You can totally ask but there are rules. The rules are:-

  1. you can only ask this if the house is old enough - asking in a house that is 200 years old if very different than asking in a house that was built in 1985; as a general rule I'd say at least 100 years.

  2. You ask the owners not the estate agents

  3. ask AFTER asking how long they've lived there and why they're moving and if they get on with the neighbours

  4. Assuming they've lived there a decent while and or get on with the neighbours ask if there is any interesting history? Did anyone notable live there or any notable events or grisly deaths? Are any stories of ghosts / spooky happenings. at the property?. Ask in an interested but not too interested tone of voice.

Don't be surprised if you're met with a blank look and "err no, not really" but the key is asking in such a way that they would tell you if there were any stories.

Ghost stories usually add value you understand - the British can be weird like that

Laiste · 18/04/2023 14:32

I guess having a look online to see how many times it's sold in the last decade might tell you something? Unless it's the sort of property which might change hands a lot anyway. Like a buy to let or a little starter home or something next to a railway line!

Wednesdaysotherchild · 18/04/2023 14:33

If we are looking at ways to help you feel
better about things, could you bring someone you trust with you (a friend rather than say an invested DP) to a viewing and get a second opinion? Then you have someone to talk to and assuage your fears as well.

Saucery · 18/04/2023 14:35

I saw “Not Haunted” on an estate agent’s sign for a flat on the outskirts of the nearest city a few weeks ago. Made me laugh because a friend used to rent a flat there and it was very unsettling. Probably more to do with converting big Victorian houses into flats rather than anything supernatural, though.

OP, it’s not a question you could ask and expect a non-pisstaking answer from the majority of estate agents, but I agree with the points made above about researching the history of any properties you are looking at. Because what’s important isn’t whether ghosts are real, but whether the possibility will play on your mind. In much the same way as a house by a play park might put me off in case it is noisy in summer and attracts antisocial behaviour in an evening.

My house is old and a few generations back two spinster sisters lived here. It’s possible they may have died here, but the atmosphere has always been friendly (the damp and the weird wiring slightly less friendly Grin)
Down the terrace a man died in his house. I don’t know if the new owners know about that, but as the door was forced by police officers and neighbours like to chat, I expect they do. I assume it’s a happy house too, no reason to think otherwise, as he was a lovely man.

Twiglets1 · 18/04/2023 14:36

Wednesdaysotherchild · 18/04/2023 14:33

If we are looking at ways to help you feel
better about things, could you bring someone you trust with you (a friend rather than say an invested DP) to a viewing and get a second opinion? Then you have someone to talk to and assuage your fears as well.

A friend, a priest, an exorcist? They would be good people to invite to a second viewing