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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Road right of way issue - who was right (diagram and satellite image included)

113 replies

Notanotherhousepost · 18/04/2023 12:03

This was sparked by the grudge thread.

Driving home I was going down a residential street with cars parked along the side. "My" side of the road had no obstruction so normally, I would have right away.

As I approached the stretch of road, another car was approaching from the other side and we were both roughly at the start of the section. I was maybe a little bit further back than he was, level with side road 1 so not technically in the obstructed section.

I was expecting him to proceed and pull into side road 2 allowing me to pass. This is normal procedure.

However, he decided to proceed past the entrance to side road 2 and came nose to nose up to me. As I had right of way, I refused to reverse. As he was being a knob (my opinion) he refused to reverse. Then begins the Mexican stand off.

15 minutes later, a queue had built up behind him and somehow nothing behind me. A driver from the queue came up to me and asked me nicely to back down since they had to get their kids from daycare. Very reluctantly I did and knob features decided to take full advantage with a slow drive past me.

I'm still pissed to this day I backed down.

In case its relevant:

Him, Middle aged man, BMW five series

Me, Middle aged woman, Landrover Defender (New style)

AIBU: he had right of way and I should have given way at the start

AINBU: he was being a knob

OP posts:
Original poster
Notanotherhousepost · 18/04/2023 12:03

Forgot the attachments

Road right of way issue - who was right (diagram and satellite image included)
Road right of way issue - who was right (diagram and satellite image included)
OP posts:
Lockheart · 18/04/2023 12:06

No, he shouldn't have gone into the side road. He was already committed by being on your side of the road when you arrived at the line of parked cars. You should have waited for him to pass the parked cars before moving forward.

MelchiorsMistress · 18/04/2023 12:09

You should have waited from what I can tell. The fact that there is a side road is irrelevant because there might have been other traffic in the space you expected him to pull into.

PuttingDownRoots · 18/04/2023 12:11

When you were head to head he should have reversed as he had shorter distance.

As soon as other cars... you as its safer.

Neededanewuserhandle · 18/04/2023 12:12

He was being a Knob - this happens where I live a lot.

Albiboba · 18/04/2023 12:13

Since you were further back you should have waited for him to pass.

Utterly ridiculous to sit there with a queue piling up behind him and got refusing to move. And someone had to get out of their car to reason with you! So embarrassing.

fairgame84 · 18/04/2023 12:14

I wouldn't have expected him to pull into side road 2 to let you past. If there was nowhere for him to pull in on his side then you should have given way as he was already committed to passing the parked cars.

Lcb123 · 18/04/2023 12:15

15 minutes!! You must be mortified. Compounded by driving a Landrover in clearly an urban area.

Albiboba · 18/04/2023 12:15

PuttingDownRoots · 18/04/2023 12:11

When you were head to head he should have reversed as he had shorter distance.

As soon as other cars... you as its safer.

we were both roughly at the start of the section. I was maybe a little bit further back than he was

If OP was further back then he was then OP has the shorter distance.

BatsHaveButtcheeks · 18/04/2023 12:15

He was already progressing before you arrived, only you decided he should pull in to another road to let you pass? Why couldn't you wait? Another road isnt a passing place, and what if other cars had blocked it anyway?
It would have taken seconds instead of over 15 minutes, except your entitlement wasted everybody's time.

IamSmarticus · 18/04/2023 12:16

Looking at your diagram, he had already started to pass the parked cars before you did, he shouldn't have to pull into side road 2 as that was on the opposite side of the road to which he was travelling. You should have waited.

DrFoxtrot · 18/04/2023 12:16

If he had already started to pass the parked cars before you got to them, you should have waited to let him past. How was he to know whether you'd be going down the side road or what if there was other traffic there?

MithrilCostsMore · 18/04/2023 12:17

This is very similar to what happened to me except I was in the queue behind you. It was an emergency situation and I lost my shit with the guy (same as your man). I actually went to open his car door as he was being an arrogant prick. As I went to grab the handle (whilst shrieking and shouting like a mad woman) he finally manouveres his car as he should have done originally.

LadyLump · 18/04/2023 12:17

So he was coming towards you already, but you expected him to pull into the mouth of a junction on the wrong side of the road to let you through?

BellaJuno · 18/04/2023 12:17

Oh dear, you’re in the wrong here in my books OP. I wouldn’t have expected him to pull into a side road as you’d already conceded he could go first past the parked cars.

TruffleShuffles · 18/04/2023 12:17

What would have happened if someone had followed you and then needed to turn into the side road he had blocked to let you pass? You should have waited of he had already started to move past the park cars.

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 18/04/2023 12:21

He'd already started his manoeuvre so he has priority (theres no such thing as right of way). You should have waited for him to pass the parked cars before continuing.

You sound like a right knob in your (new style) defender.

MintJulia · 18/04/2023 12:21

Lockheart · 18/04/2023 12:06

No, he shouldn't have gone into the side road. He was already committed by being on your side of the road when you arrived at the line of parked cars. You should have waited for him to pass the parked cars before moving forward.

This. He shouldn't have pulled into the side turning (on his right). If you are in the U.K. we drive on the left and he needs to keep left. If he was already alongside the parked cars, when you got there, you should have let him through.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 18/04/2023 12:22

From what you have said, OP, you were in the wrong originally when you proceeded, in the wrong to expect him to pull into a side road, in the wrong refusing to reverse, and definitely in the wrong leaving it 15 minutes with a queue.

Even if it was all his fault, even if you were 100% in the right, even if he was being a total dick, you were still refusing to reverse for 15!!!! Minutes. Which is totally unreasonable of you - even if he was doing it too. So you don’t get any moral high ground, and I’m mortified on your behalf that someone else was inconvenienced enough to have to beg you to move. Surely it would be blatantly obvious without being told that someone or most people in that queue were making a journey because they had somewhere they needed to be!

Comefromaway · 18/04/2023 12:23

If he had already started to pass the obstruction and you had not you should have waited until he had passed. he should not pull into the side road.

Inkblue · 18/04/2023 12:24

Looking at the road ahead and adjusting manoeuvres to suit conditions is part and parcel of driving safely and considerately. He had already committed and shouldn't have used the side road to pull over as it is not a passing place but it may also cause problems for him if there is other traffic. Being difficult and refusing to reverse because you think you are in the right is pointless behaviour. It winds everyone up and causes jams, as happened to you.

Damnloginpopup · 18/04/2023 12:26

You're both nobs. BMW and a Defender.

But you raised the MN bar with a satellite image so I'm taking your side anyhow, irrespective of highway codes, laws, manners etc.

would love a hand drawn penguin too if possible please.

SinisterKnitter · 18/04/2023 12:26

Based on your diagram, you were wrong.

Everanewbie · 18/04/2023 12:27

If he's already started OP, you should not have gone. Yes the hazard was on his side, and if he saw you coming and needed you to stop for him to proceed he should have waited. But even knowing that he was likely an arse, you compounded it and made life difficult for several other road users by being confrontational too.

Too many people see driving as a contest to be won rather than a route to be safely navigated. Take the high road next time OP and mutter 'arse' under your breath if it makes you feel better.

nakeklak · 18/04/2023 12:29

Both ABU. Sometimes people make small mistakes like this on the road, just work together to solve the issue. So simple in this case.