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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Road right of way issue - who was right (diagram and satellite image included)

113 replies

Notanotherhousepost · 18/04/2023 12:03

This was sparked by the grudge thread.

Driving home I was going down a residential street with cars parked along the side. "My" side of the road had no obstruction so normally, I would have right away.

As I approached the stretch of road, another car was approaching from the other side and we were both roughly at the start of the section. I was maybe a little bit further back than he was, level with side road 1 so not technically in the obstructed section.

I was expecting him to proceed and pull into side road 2 allowing me to pass. This is normal procedure.

However, he decided to proceed past the entrance to side road 2 and came nose to nose up to me. As I had right of way, I refused to reverse. As he was being a knob (my opinion) he refused to reverse. Then begins the Mexican stand off.

15 minutes later, a queue had built up behind him and somehow nothing behind me. A driver from the queue came up to me and asked me nicely to back down since they had to get their kids from daycare. Very reluctantly I did and knob features decided to take full advantage with a slow drive past me.

I'm still pissed to this day I backed down.

In case its relevant:

Him, Middle aged man, BMW five series

Me, Middle aged woman, Landrover Defender (New style)

AIBU: he had right of way and I should have given way at the start

AINBU: he was being a knob

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 18/04/2023 12:29

I opened this thread to read what you had to say and give my opinion on who was wrong. But then I looked at your diagram and all I want to say now is that I really like your diagram and the effort you appear to have put into it 😁

Ariela · 18/04/2023 12:29

I'm not averse to reversing very very very slowly in that situation. Particularly if towing. I think it's FAR more annoying for the aggressor.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 18/04/2023 12:30

You're in the wrong. He was already driving past the parked cars. If anything you should have pulled into the side road, not him, as we drive on the left side of the road. Ideally you should have waited at the top for him to drive past the parked cars. You caused the issue not him.

fruitbrewhaha · 18/04/2023 12:30

oh gawd OP, what a disaster. You've made a right tit out of yourself and let the new style defender community down. So much more is expected of landy owners.

I live an area with narrow roads, parking in villages and single track lanes, I just move out of the way i don't care who has right of way, i just make an effort to be a nice person.

Cosycover · 18/04/2023 12:31

It's a tough one. You had right away but it doesn't always work out that way. Whoever was most inconvenienced should have reversed.

TinaYouFatLard · 18/04/2023 12:34

You were completely wrong.

LIZS · 18/04/2023 12:34

If he was already passing the parked cars you should have waited for him reach you, even though he was on the "wrong" side of the road.

PuttingDownRoots · 18/04/2023 12:35

If OP had been turning left into Sideroad 2, and therefore had a clear path when she started, would she still have been wrong, since the other driver drove past Side Road 2?

(He didn't need to pull into side road 2, the usual practice is to wait on his side of the road and the driver on the correct side pulls into the passing place on their side, they drive past, then other driver pulls out of passing space)

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 12:35

I think you were in the wrong for expecting him to turn into a road and possibly into oncoming traffic. It would have been easier for you to pull into the side road slightly.

Seeline · 18/04/2023 12:36

As the other driver had already entered the obstructed area, he had right of way and you should have waited until he was clear of the obstruction.
You were wrong to 'assume' that he was going to turn off into a side road as well - why on earth should he have done that?

TheGoogleMum · 18/04/2023 12:38

Sorry OP, but I don't think he should be expected to pull into side road on opposite side to give way. If anything he could have waited just before the side road so you could give way by going in it, or you could have just waited for him to finish coming through. YABU for driving a landrover in a built up area too

IhearyouClemFandango · 18/04/2023 12:39

Why would it be logical for him to move into another road, on the other side of the road? What if a car was coming out of it?

Auntieobem · 18/04/2023 12:41

There's a road near me which has similar situation very regularly. It's annoying he didn't stop before the obstruction and let you past, but once he'd started on his way the right thing to do would have been to wait till he was through.

BogRollBOGOF · 18/04/2023 12:41

He'd approached first so you should have let him have space to complete the manouver.

I would not expect him to pull into a side road on the opposite side, but once the situation was unfolding, it would have been sensible for him to have waited by it so you could pull in as a passing place.

Two oncoming stubborn drivers is a bad combination.

Knowing priority is of course important, but so is knowing when it's more efficient to relinquish it to let traffic flow.

GoldenGorilla · 18/04/2023 12:41

You were wrong. He was already on your side to get past the obstruction, you should have just waited for him to get fully past and return to his own side.

User339406 · 18/04/2023 12:43

Can I just check that you sat nose to nose with the guy for FIFTEEN minutes?

With a queue of cars behind him but no-one behind you?

Madness.

Rainbowshit · 18/04/2023 12:44

From your diagram as he had already started to pass the cars you were in the wrong.

Batcountry8 · 18/04/2023 12:45

If he'd started further into the parked car area I just would have saved the stress and hassle of this and stayed back.
You just have to drive sometimes knowing some drivers are knobs.

I really can't see the point of moving towards someone who is gonna be stuck in front of me and vice versa.
Yes it was your right of way but meh.

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 18/04/2023 12:47

You were in the wrong as he'd already started to pass the parked cars - you should have waited for him to complete this before proceeding.

15 minute standoff is really shameful. You were both dickheads for that.

BubziOwl · 18/04/2023 12:47

I was always taught in my driving lessons that whoever enters the constricted area first has priority, regardless of which side of the road has the parked cars. Only if you both get there at the same time would it matter who's side of the road the parked cars were on.

Soontobe60 · 18/04/2023 12:49

Batcountry8 · 18/04/2023 12:45

If he'd started further into the parked car area I just would have saved the stress and hassle of this and stayed back.
You just have to drive sometimes knowing some drivers are knobs.

I really can't see the point of moving towards someone who is gonna be stuck in front of me and vice versa.
Yes it was your right of way but meh.

If he was already going past the parked cars and she wasn’t, then no, she didn't have ‘right of way’ as her exit to the road was not clear.

OP, you should have waited for the car to come past you before proceeding. It wasn’t his job to turn into a side road - where there may well have been an approaching car - it was your job to wait for him to come past you. So I'm afraid you were being the knob in this situation.

Soontobe60 · 18/04/2023 12:50

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 18/04/2023 12:47

You were in the wrong as he'd already started to pass the parked cars - you should have waited for him to complete this before proceeding.

15 minute standoff is really shameful. You were both dickheads for that.

Why was he? There was a queue of cars behind him so he couldn’t move. OP had NO cars behind her.

Lakeyloo · 18/04/2023 12:50
  1. You should have waited as he had already pulled out past the obstruction.
  2. What on earth has the fact you drive a Landrover Defender and feel the need to mention it's "new style" got to do with anything ??
Wrongsideofpennines · 18/04/2023 12:54

I don't really care who had right of way but you are both idiots for sitting there for 15 minutes blocking everyone else. How utterly selfish to disrupt people's day like that just because you both wanted the upper hand. What if someone missed their hospital appointment, got fined for picking up their child up late, their mother's dying moments - all because you couldn't be bothered to reverse out of the way.

WonderingWanda · 18/04/2023 12:54

I am all for not being bullied into giving way when it's your right of way but from your diagram it looks like he was in the right and you were wrong.

First, he had already committed before you got there so you really should have waited. Also it seems you ended up much further down the road than him in the same space of time so were you I actually fact being a bit of a bully and trying to force him to stop at the side road? I can't really get why he would pull into the side road on his right to let you pass when it's on your side of the road anyway, I never cross to the right side of the road to let oncoming traffic pass me on my left side?

The cars you both drive are irrelevant really although surely you could have just mounted the pavement in your defender? Joke before anyone jumps on me that this is not ok!