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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum in hospital

48 replies

worrieddau · 17/04/2023 21:36

Just posting for some advice. My elderly mother was admitted to hospital a week ago after having antibiotics for a uti. She's only got worse since being in hospital - she's basically just sleeping, refusing food and struggling to take oral medication. They've had her on fluids.

I'm going spare that they don't seem overly bothered. Apparently the docs might start her on iv medication tomorrow.

Does anyone have experience of this sort of situation? It just seems crazy to keep on with the oral meds after they knew she was barely taking them.

OP posts:
84wood · 17/04/2023 21:38

How old is your mum? Is she in good health previous to this?

DustyLee123 · 17/04/2023 21:40

If she had the anti Ivor the UTI, why has she been admitted ?

DustyLee123 · 17/04/2023 21:41
  • antibiotics for the UTI
Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 21:49
  1. Pretty frail. The infection appeared to be clearing up then she got really agitated and confused.

Until now she has had virtually no health problems, just getting old.

OP posts:
Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 21:49

She does take blood pressure meds normally.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 17/04/2023 21:50

My mum has a UTI. She is over 90 and it really really knocked her out. She was unable to get into bed on her own because her back and legs hurt so much. The antibiotics did work but took quite a few days to kick in. I really hope your mum makes a full recovery.

DustyLee123 · 17/04/2023 21:51

Sounds like the infection hasn’t cleared up and she needs different antibiotics.
When you visit it’s very important you encounter to drink and eat, take her favourite things in to tempt her. Egg custard is a good one, even if she just eats the custard.

DustyLee123 · 17/04/2023 21:52
  • encourage her . I’m really struggling with predictive text tonight !
thesandwich · 17/04/2023 21:53

Make sure the medics are aware of her “ baseline”- how she was before the infection/ admittance.

RoseMartha · 17/04/2023 21:55

The uti also causes confusion in the
elderly. My mum has dementia and it is always worse when she has a uti.

It sounds fairly normal with your mum when an elderly person has a uti.

If you think she needs a care plan for when she is back home make sure it is in place before the hospital discharges her.

Hope she gets better soon

Teamsaction · 17/04/2023 21:57

It sounds like the UTI might only be partially treated and/or she might have a delirium.

https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/health-information/delirium-sudden-confusion

I'd be asking the team about what her inflammatory blood tests are like and her kidney function and also as other posters have said doing the best to get her to eat and drink when you are with her.

Hope she improves soon for you.

Delirium (sudden confusion) - Overview

Delirium can be treated at hospital or managed at home. This condition can be frightening for the person and their loved ones. It's important to know the signs and understand what can help.

https://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/health-information/delirium-sudden-confusion

Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 21:58

She'll only eat about a spoonful before refusing at the moment.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Hopefully I'll get to speak to a doctor tomorrow. I just don't know the right words.

OP posts:
Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 22:00

They initially said her kidney scan was fine then said function was poor but hoped it would improve when she was more hydrated.

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HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 17/04/2023 22:00

Yes, I've sadly had the experience of my DM having to be hospitalised for a new medical condition. She ended up being discharged in a worse state than when she got admitted.

My advice is whenever you visit your mum, request a meeting with the doctor on the ward to see what they plan to do next for your DM. Take notes of every conversation. I had to keep badgering the hospital for info and at best they were just blasé about her condition and the state she was in and so vague. They'd say 'oh we're doing an MRI and xray tmrw...' and I'd ask 'what are you looking for?' And the reply would inevitably be 'oh just routine..' then find out no MRI or xray had been done or even planned!! Infuriating.

StrangeSally · 17/04/2023 22:00

UTI's are sadly very common in older people, they can sometimes present alarmingly, my mum had them frequently and they made her very ill very quickly,she became aggressive and confused, you have to be prodding the staff all the time, they made so many mistakes with my mum I became very cynical in my attitude towards the staff unfortunately. I never disrespected them but I was like an annoying wasp constantly asking and querying her care,you can also be proactive yourself as pp said providing and offering drinks and care yourself , good luck and take care

Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 22:01

I will do this "I'd be asking the team about what her inflammatory blood tests are like and her kidney function" but I'm not sure what kind of answer to expect...

Presumably I need to ask how they are treating if not normal.

OP posts:
Robinonaspade · 17/04/2023 22:04

I think you are right to speak to a Dr. Ask to see one tomorrow morning, I found this was the only way to get information.

The advice further up is really helpful, I was going to say it could be delerium, and the advice about asking for blood results very important.

If your mum usually takes blood pressure medication, I'd also ask about electrolyte levels as we discovered when my father was ill that his sodium was dangerously low causing confusion, and his potassium and other electrolytes were described as 'deranged'.

Hoping your mum picks up soon. It might also be worth asking if your mums fluid intake is being monitored too.

Wishing you all the best.

vipersnest1 · 17/04/2023 22:07

Sorry to say this, @worrieddau, but it seems to take eons for the wheels to turn in the NHS these days - you really need to be the squeaky wheel.
When my DM was dying, even then it often took 24 hours or more for a change in medication to be implemented. It's far from ideal and very worrying for the family involved when senior HCPs tell you that something will happen, but no-one seems to have taken notice further down the chain. My DM was bed-ridden and it was decided that she needed air boots to protect her heels in particular. They were brought to her side room and left there for two days before anyone actually put them on her. That's just one example of the many I could give.

Robinonaspade · 17/04/2023 22:09

An annoying wasp... Unfortunately to ensure elderly parents get proper care these days it's very good advice.

I had to do exactly the same. I was polite, firm, questioning and insistent... I felt like an annoying fly that staff were trying to swat away. 🙁The matron and pals helped ensure my concerns were addressed and the care improved.

Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 22:13

It is terrifying, I'm just hoping she gets better right now. I am expecting she'll come out worse than she went in.

OP posts:
StrangeSally · 17/04/2023 22:28

It is terrifying, try to keep yourself well and hydrated and fed etc. I was on my own dealing with everything as an only child. I tried to take each hour as it came, just try and be insistent but firm as to what they are doing ,and if you don't understand make them explain, ask what you can do if anything, but remember all things pass we get through eventually,i know it doesn't seem like that now though.

Hairyfairy01 · 17/04/2023 22:29

If she is not eating ask if she has been referred to a dietician. If she hasn't ask why not. Are they keeping a fluid chart to monitor how much she is drinking? Are they keeping a food chart to monitor how much they are eating? Are they giving her IV fluids? If not ask why not. Does she has a catheter in? If so how much is coming out? Is this being recorded? I agree with another poster, be very clear on what her normal 'baseline' is - mobility, cognition etc.

Wren77 · 17/04/2023 22:47

Hey there, I would be asking the ward to refer her to SaLT for a swallow assessment. It might be since she got poorly she's struggling a bit - really common in elderly folk. They can get the ward to organise meals and medication that are easier to swallow (this is my job btw!!) Best wishes to you both 💐

upee · 17/04/2023 23:02

Sounds like delirium. Definitely ask for a SaLT assessment, they can take a while to actually happen so get the ball rolling.

She is lucky to have you. From experience it's better to have family involved in all aspects of care and treatments. Write down everything names and dates, it can help you process and also show the hospital staff you are taking notice. Drs come and go in the matter of days so try to keep on top of who is the Dr responsible for your DM's care at all times and details of how to speak with them.

I wish you both well x

Original poster
worrieddau · 17/04/2023 23:05

What is SaLT?

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