How did you get a good work / life balance?

[C1239]

Ive decided I need to make some changes to get more of a work life balance and not take work so seriously, I’m mid 40s and still find myself getting stressed about work, please tell me your tips on how to switch off from it if you’ve made to get a good balance?

Basically you don't switch off, if your committed to what you do, basically I'm a company person, if they need me 24/7 I'm available, even on holiday's, I've rearranged to help work out, I know what I do is appreciated and it's a great cause, so it's all part of doing my duty.

I'm not sure you quite grasped what type OP asked?!

Honestly? I changed jobs. I get paid less but I am so much happier.

I have boundaries (if I’m off/ finished don’t contact me unless dire emergency that can’t wait)?and I only work for companies who value the well-being of their staff and therefor allow them to have a great work life balance.

True but I was trying to say that sometimes depending on what role you do, and the company involved, sometimes it's impossible or near impossible to have a more positive balance.

I found having humility helps - the big system will continue without me and I’m more replaceable than I think - this helps me stop, I don’t need to give my all to work as work will continue if I’m there or not xx

You're a resource, a number on a spreadsheet. When that number no longer adds up the company will make you redundant.

Remove the emotional attachment like they have always done. Don't do regular unpaid overtime, you are just lining the director's/shareholders pockets.

I'm not miserable at work if that's how it sounds. I have a senior role I really enjoy!

I only work for companies who value the well-being of their staff and therefor allow them to have a great work life balance.

This is so important. All depends on the type of job you do too. What is it that you do OP, so we can give you more advice?

You can do a really low-stress job but work for an employer whose ways of working and processes make you stressed. On the other hand, you can do a very demanding job but work for an employer who takes work-life balance seriously and not feel so burnt out.

My answer may not be helpful to you but I dropped a day and managed to get Fridays off.

The difference was immediate. I had a lovely extended weekend where I could switch off on Fridays and do mundane things like shopping, chores etc... after a lie in.

My actual weekends were completely free for whatever we chose to do. It made so much difference.

I changed jobs!! And now basically look at it exactly like @DoormatBob - I don’t do more than is required of me, don’t do overtime and have very firm boundaries. If I left tomorrow they’d have me replaced in no time without a second thought. Okay, they will lose my knowledge, experience and professionally I go the extra mile for people when required but you know what I mean, we are all replaceable.

I work part time and use a free weekday to catch up on any boring admin/house jobs so my weekends really feel like a break.

I never ever agree to have emails/work notifications pushed through onto my phone.

Being able to work from home a few days a week has helped give me a better work life balance

I changed jobs and stopped having work email/WhatsApp/Teams on my personal phone - I log off at 5 and shut my laptop. I also take an hour for lunch everyday and go for a walk or to the gym.

I've been what I considered to be a very good employer - treated my staff generously, improved leave and pay, was very flexible.

It was all very selfishly motivated, I assure you. I don't believe in treating people badly, but I was also tired of working with a bunch of miserable cunts, and wanted a nice, productive working environment. So I read up and followed all the research to improve things. The changes worked. Everyone was happier, richer and with more time.

I expected them to show up and exhibit the skills I paid them for, and to merrily fuck off at the end of the day. I didn't care if someone left, it was an opportunity to hire a slightly different skillset.

(For what it's worth, I found that staff who never switched off performed the worst - their perceived indispensability was actually just being controlling, and their lack of perspective made them excessively emotional rather than pragmatic or rational in their work decisions.)

Anyone who expects more of their staff is both stupid and exploitative.

People are a resource you hire in for a rate. And that rate is for a set list of T&Cs.

Working part time has definitely given me a good work life balance. I have young kids so it's not that I'm meeting friends for coffee and going for spa days on my days off work, but it gives me a chance to get caught up with grocery shopping, housework, admin etc and so leaves the weekends for family time. I work 3 days and may go up to 4 days a week when the kids are a bit older, but I won't go back to working 5 days unless I have to.

I changed jobs too, I'm so much happier without the stress hanging over me.

I've found that how to achieve work-life balance depends partly on which stage of life you're at. I'm a teacher. When my dc were small I achieved work-life balance by working part-time. Now that they are teenagers I am able to work full-time again because they do not need me as much.

I also manage it by having specific set times when I do the work I have to do outside of school hours. I stay at school and work until 5:15 every day and do a couple of hours on Sunday morning. That's it. If I can't get something done in that time, it will have to wait!

No one ever sat on their death bed and said “I wish I’d spent more time in the office” . I have heard people wish they had more holidays, more kids and more adventures - but nope ! Never more work.

I got two part time jobs now and work shifts so I end up with many free days in a row. Not entirely sure that I’m white earning enough but for right now it’s so much more peaceful

I just stopped giving a shit about work when I’m not there. Working well so far.

I'm here for the tips really.

I do love my job. But it's officially 38 hours that I end up realistically doing a min of 45/week. Usually a lot (lot!) more.

We share housework, often doing a blitz on a Saturday. We organise washing and drying laundry during the week but toss it all in a clean hamper to fold on the weekend watching tv. DH does all the ironing on Sunday watching countryfile while I cook dinner.

I often use internet shopping and always have plenty of food choices and conveniences available. Some that take longer cooking or prepping, others that are fast for both. We don't stress about 1 takeaway a week, but try not to have 2.

The 1 thing I do for me is being a Cub Scout leader - which is Saturday mornings (or all day for hikes a few times a year, or all weekend for 2 hostel trips and a camping weekend yearly). Lots of outdoor time because it's Saturday, and messing about in boats in May-Oct season. And sometimes some sailing with Leaders in between that. And though that's sometimes a bit manic, it is completely different and I can't think about work stuff while doing cub stuff so it's good for me.

I left my firm and went self employed, which enabled me to work full time but flexibly, be there for school assemblies etc and walk my dogs. I also have less stress because no office/ firm politics. I do have client related stress, and definitely a lot of ( self imposed!) time pressure, but it’s usually manageable.

However, I’ve been lucky to be able to do it, I know that. The economy has been kind to my type of business and also it was very scary for the first couple of years. My industry is was v old fashioned though, so it was the only way to get more balance.

Good thread OP!

I work from home which helps immensely.

I still get up early, make breakfast for me and a teenager, she goes off to get train...

In the 1.5hrs between her leaving and work starting, I've cleaned up, swept /mopped and washed a load of clothing.

I now stick to my breaks religiously, as I found I was skipping these aplenty. During my break/lunch I can cook / prep dinner.

Finish work, finish dinner and ready for extracurricular chauffeuring. Once that's done and we're home, it's shower and relax.

I also do all housework between Monday- Friday, so weekends are free for whatever we choose to do.

Working part time. I NEED a day off in the middle of the week to look forward to and catch up. It makes work so much more bearable.

So much so that I've turned down promotions to keep it.

Flexible working hours
Working from home as/when I want
Working part time
Cleaner
Dropping some voluntary commitments I wasn't enjoying
Learning to be more firm in saying no
Less time on my phone (still working on this one)

I think you just do it. You make the decision that you'll do a good job and work hard for the time you need to be at work but the rest of your time's your own. I know my employers are getting excellent value for money, even if sometimes they'd like more.

I've had a long career, the last couple of posts leadership at director level. Very early in my career I would have done whatever it took, but then I came to realise it doesn't actually make that much difference.

Success comes from what you achieve and making sure you spend the time and put the quality into the things people notice that matter.

In my current job there are sometimes unavoidable late evenings and provided there's a clear purpose/reason I'm happy to do them, but I get/expect flexibility to take the time back in return.