To expect parents to clean up after their children?

[MotherofBingo]

I work in a restaurant, I know children can be hardwork, I have two and they are no angels but I would never dream of leaving the table in the absolute states that many parents do! I'm talking food and rubbish all over the floor - literally piles of it - stickers stuck to the furniture and pen/Crayon marks on the tables, walls and menus, half chewed food left for us to pick up (and occasionally other bodily fluids left for us to deal with too!), food smeared everywhere and general rubbish ALL over the table. Just why? I'm assuming these parents wouldn't allow it at home.

It's not just the mess either, it's the parents who come in and enjoy a bottle of wine between them while their darling 2 year old is running around unattended into the kitchen and out to the carpark - of course the parents get extremely irate when we point out how unsafe this is. It's so common!

To make it worse, the majority of parents who do this always seem to treat the waiting staff like scum - looking down their nose at us like there's a bad smell and speaking extra slowly as though we are too stupid to understand basic English. It's becoming very hard to give the same attitude back sometimes.

YANBU, I always tidy up afterwards and ask for a dustpan and brush if needed, precisely because I was a pizza restaurant waitress as a teenager and had to clean up the horrendous destruction some parents left, some families were awful.

I can't remember where I saw this but it was a café that stated only well behaved children allowed. I'm lucky that the children I'd be with would included in that. Except perhaps the 1 year old but when we were last in a restaurant we were the only party and her cousin who's 6 would bring her back to the table if she went awol

I work in customer care at McDonald's

You wouldn't believe the amount of sheer mess I've had to clean up

From shitty nappies they've smeared over the tray/table/chair to children's vomit that's just left and they leave

I once had a child stand next to the table and piss all over the floor

The parents didn't bat an eyelid-they carried on eating and spoke to me like I was shit on their shoe

Another family of 5 made so much mess,it took me nearly 25 minutes to clear it up-that was just the one table-i got a lot of other customers commenting about how disgusting it was

Most of the families are amazing and wouldn't dream of leaving a mess/I have to wrestle the cloth/dustpan off them

I dread to think what their homes are like if they can leave that amount of mess in public

I worked in hospitality for years in many different settings. There were disgusting men who harassed me (including banging on the doors after hours trying to find me), there were women who literally turned their noses up at me because I was being polite to their partners, there were entitled older people who would tut in my face and tell me my generation has a lazy attitude to work. Kids throwing food on the floor was such a minor grievance in the grand scheme of things yet these are the ones that get repeated over and over on mn. OF COURSE parents shouldn't let their kids mess up the restaurant, you know that, I know that. This is just another chance to shit on parents in public, like the million other threads about toddlers in cafes, kids in restaurants past 6pm, prams on the bus yada yada yada entitled parents. I'm surprised no one has churped up about kids on ipads in restaurants without headphones which seems to happen in every restaurant in the country, despite me literally never witnessing this.

The thing is a lot of the time it’s easier to deal with the mess these people leave than attempt to deal with them.
Those people are often the abusive awful humans who will cause a huge scene.
I worked for 15 years in hospitality- 10 as management. If they are disruptive and upsetting other customers then yes it might be worth asking them to leave- the extra mess not worth it.
I dealt with a lot of abuse in my time, a particular memory was when I refused a man service as he swore at a member of my staff. He grabbed me round the throat and spat in my face.

But I also take my children out in public, I just wouldn't expect other people to clean up the kind of messes that certain groups leave. I make a concerted effort not to leave mess on the floor and don't let my children disrupt other diners or put stickers/Crayon drawings on walls and furniture because I don't think that's reasonable. I know children misbehave that's not my issue - I make an effort to help in those situations providing a distraction or being understanding wherever possible but some of the messes, coupled with parental attitude is aborahant and it does seem to be getting worse lately.

*abhorrent

YANBU. And these type of people never, ever, leave a tip either…despite the fact they’ve often caused an extra 15 mins of staff time to clean ip after them.
We’ve had the puke left by parents thing. Had to get the carpet cleaning machine out, had to move other customers to a different room…had to remove items from the bill to placate the irate lady at the next table who was eating and it made her feel sick..but did they leave a tip? Nope.

Sounds hideous, and I'd hate this as a customer (disruptive, noisy, running around). I wish staff would actually ask people like that to leave, it's not fair on the other paying customers. You'd have my full support!!

Am with you OP. There's a type of parent who is very polite. Always smiles when talking to you. But little Henry or Harietta is running amok and she finds it so lovely how children are so full of life and exuberant. If they put stickers on furniture, they're terribly sorry, but just leave them on, together with a lot of other mess.

I've seen these parents (usually a mother having a coffee with another mother who is similarly perfectly mannered) quite a lot in a cafe near me. I stopped going because while they're very polite, it's actually painfully patronising. They treat the serving staff like the staff. It's horrible to watch.

Wow this thread is an eye opener. I knew some people were shitty but I never realised how truly awful people can be in this setting.

I think in a busy establishment you'd have the support of other customers if you asked them to leave, but like you say you need management support first.

When mine were younger and messier I always used to clean up. Had a fair few comments from staff saying don’t worry about it. It never sat right with me that some people let their kids leave loads of food everywhere. Now they would be on a par with adults so I don’t tend to but some NCT groups I saw left chaos behind them in cafes.

Years ago I had a summer job as a server in a cafe and I honestly admire anyone who's able to do it long term. It was pre the smoking ban and I remember clearing away plates where people had put cig butts out in their leftover food or left piles of snotty tissues everywhere. And yeah, little kids who drew on walls or made huge piles of mess and then everyone would just get up and leave it all behind.

The good thing is, it's made me aware of how I leave tables in restaurants. I never leave stuff behind that I wouldn't want to clear up myself. Anyone who works in hospitality/catering and dealing with the (at times) utterly revolting public...you deserve medals.

Dogs are a PITA too. If they are not barking, their entitled owners are leaving them in the middle of the gangway so you can’t get past to deliver food. Children and dogs are the bane of our lives (work in a cafe).

Sign outside a local cafe.

“Well behaved dogs tolerated.
Also applies to children. “

Those kind of people are the ones I judge. I make no apologies for it either. Parents should be controlling their children's behaviour and clearing up after themselves. It's disgusting how some people leave restaurants.

It's a general attitude to life in which people don't care about how much impact they have on their fellow human being, from dropping litter, leaving dog poo, leaving car engine running, electronic devices without headphones etc, they don't think of others

They are the sort of scum who chuck their rubbish out of the window of their car once they have finished their McDonalds. Sometimes they bag it all up and then chuck the bag out as they drive through the village. Grubby little cunts.

Oh god, last month I went out for lunch with the wife of one of my husband’s friends - because my husband and said friend were doing some kind of DIY project at her house for the afternoon, so we took the kids out. We aren’t really close but I’ve always thought she was fairly sweet and nice.

She left the cafe like a tornado had ripped through! Food… that she brought from home(!) flung everywhere! A mountain of baby wipes. Spilled drinks just left with a few napkins dropped on top. I was mortified.

By contrast, I even give the high chair a quick wipe down before I leave.

I tried to clear up a little behind her and she said (loudly) “there are people paid to do that”

I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

I used to work in food service as a teen. Obvs. I know the pain.

YANBU, I always clear up as best I can after 2 year old DD if we eat out so pick up food from the floor, wipe spills, crumbs off the seat etc. Its just basic manners and consideration, obviously staff will come along and wipe the table after too but there's no need to leave it in a worse state for them than any other customer without children would.

I used to work in hospitality, it's an every day issue and manegement doesn't care. Because in most cases they would get a bad public review and then would need to spend their time and budget money to give them complimentary experience.

I'm mother of 4 year old and honestly - I would be mortified if my child would behave like that,doesn't matter if its local Mcdonald or Ritz Hotel. It says all about PARENTS and their attitude.

See that doesn't make sense to me. Someone gives you a bad review , you respond "you were asked to leave because you were a filthy fucker with feral kids" and people like me would applaud. I think I must genuinely be very naive - my local cafe values its staff and has quite clear rules (no kids running around, no hogging a table for hours and 1 coffee if its busy) and I love it.

Ive genuinely been shocked at my own friends when ive been out with them and thier kids. So much so that 2 of them I will not socialise with if thier kids are there, because a. Its embarrassing b. I don't want my kids to see it/be tarred with the same brush.
I think people dont know how to behave anymore.

Well, I don't think you would stay at your position for long as a manager if you would reply like that on TripAdvisor, etc :)))
It's all about money. I'm talking more about "posh" places. They have budgets, they can't afford to treat every single person who complained so they need to deal with them in other ways. Imagine you are planning afternoon tea with your friends and checking reviews where people are told to f**k off by manegement , you wouldn't go there.

the majority of parents who do this always seem to treat the waiting staff like scum

I think this is the key here. It's just a lack of respect for the waiting staff. They would probably leave their own mess and don't think twice about leaving mess made by their children.

Most people are considerate and would stack things up, contain anything that looked disgusting, make at least some attempt to sweep the biggest pieces from the floor etc.

It's nothing to do with being a parent or not, it's just whether you're an inconsiderate arsehole or not.