To want to sack the cleaner

[Madmanc]

We have a lady who comes in for 1.5 hours on a Friday to clean the bathrooms & the kitchen. We pay her well and she doesn’t have to tidy anything away as we are tidy people.
My 16 yo DS was home on Friday when she came & said he saw her take some of our books out of her shopping bag & put them back onto our bookshelves. I was quite shocked by this but my husband (who is a very laid back guy) said he didn’t think it was worth mentioning it as we’re happy with her cleaning & there’s no harm done?
I did text her & said was my DS right & had she put some books back on the shelves she replied oh yeah, I borrow some now & again for my husband who loves reading & I knew you wouldn’t mind!
I know she’s returned the books but AIBU to think she should have asked me first? I’m a little concerned now that she may take something else?
She’s also started to bring a flask of tea with her & a sandwich to eat after she’s cleaned, she said she likes to sit at our dining table & enjoy the view of the garden 🤷‍♀️ She might ask to bring her grandchildren round next to play in our garden lol.
I personally think she’s a bit cheeky.

I wouldn’t want her in my house.
That would be the end.

Dear god, if she'd been your cleaner for years and years it might be acceptable, but new to the job and she's already helping herself to whatever she fancies and using it as a cafe? I'd never trust her again. Get rid.

Finding a good, reliable cleaner is quite tough. I personally wouldn't have a problem with her enjoying her lunch and looking at your view but she should definitely ask before borrowing any more books.

You have to weigh up whether you can live with this or if not, if you can be bothered with all the faff of finding someone new.

Boundaries crossed. No longer transactional. Get a new cleaner!

I've always invited cleaners to have lunch and help themselves to hot drinks. But taking books without asking is rather odd.

You're being very mean-spirited over the lunch thing. Perhaps she has to grab a bite in between jobs.

But she definitely should have asked to borrow the books.

And as for eating lunch in her car, we can't assume she has one. I live in a city with good public transport, and parking on my street is astronomically priced. I don't think I've ever had a cleaner drive here.

She's taking quite a few liberties.

At least though she hasn't been caught drinking your wine and sleeping in your bed! True story 🤣

Although she doesn't sound far off!

A couple of people have commented on here about my having a cleaner, as though I’m a snob or privileged. I did say on my original post that the cleaner doesn’t have to pick things up as we’re a tidy household i.e. we don’t treat her like a skivvy & she is paid extremely well. My husband works away a lot, I work full time, have 3 children & shop & cook for my elderly neighbour & my father who is housebound & lives 6 miles away. I’m not sat at home doing nothing.
I also only mentioned about my cleaner sitting at the dining table having her lunch as this was something else she hadn’t asked me about. I think it’s cheeky to just assume when you’re in someone else’s house.

Only 4 weeks!

I was going to say it wouldn't bother me but I suppose I was picturing a relationship of many years like we have with our cleaner.

Helping herself after four weeks is eccentric.

Four weeks is basically a trial period, i would let her go.

The lunch thing wouldn't bother me BTW. At all. She might go straight to another job and this is her only chance for lunch.

It's all very Downton abbey expecting her to eat elsewhere.

The book thing is the weird one.

Well she's cheeky but she doesn't sound a Fer if that makes sense. Is she British? There an almost innocence about it. Unfortunately I think you've missed you're opportunity. As soon as she said yes I did, I didn't think yd mind, you should have said I mind very much. You've overstepped a boundary. You are not a family member, friend or guest. I am you're employer!
Very odd behaviour.

Don't feel guilty about having a cleaner. It's pretty standard nowadays and yes you're lucky but that doesn't mean you have to put up with things you don't want to, she's still an employee. I think borrowing the books without asking isn't great tbh! Makes me wonder what other boundaries she might cross. The lunch thing wouldn't bother me, unless I wanted the house free. I also agree its cheeky not to ask. I've had quite a few cheeky ones so I don't have much tolerance now.

I’d get rid. 4 weeks is a short time for the blurred boundaries. Is she v new to cleaning or perhaps has some jobs where she has been for years snd do is treating you the same?
If you are going to be there, I think that is the ideal time to get your key back. You aren’t a library!

YANBU. If this is her behaviour after 4 weeks, she’ll be giving your car for a spin around the block by Xmas.

I wouldn’t take belongings without asking from my best friends house after 27 years of being very comfortable in each others home.

Helping herself to your dining room is the height of unprofessionalism.

She’d be long gone, if nothing but to save you hassle as she gets more comfortable.

Definitely get rid of her. No reasonable person does this. My friends wouldn’t even borrow my books or sit at my dining table without permission, in my absence! I wouldn’t be able to trust someone who was ping this, no matter how well they cleaned or how nice they are. She’s crossed the line.
Find someone else, straight away, and don’t give her the chance to come back to your home to ‘borrow’ more stuff, or use your home like it’s hers.

Don’t feel the need to justify why you have chosen to have a cleaner. Some women have bought into the idea that other women should do all the housework themselves. If cleaners are paid fairly, I don’t see why some people have such a chip on their shoulder about it. It’s also an extremely demeaning attitude to have towards someone is being paid to provide a service in someone’s home.