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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sack the cleaner

67 replies

Madmanc · 16/04/2023 18:14

We have a lady who comes in for 1.5 hours on a Friday to clean the bathrooms & the kitchen. We pay her well and she doesn’t have to tidy anything away as we are tidy people.
My 16 yo DS was home on Friday when she came & said he saw her take some of our books out of her shopping bag & put them back onto our bookshelves. I was quite shocked by this but my husband (who is a very laid back guy) said he didn’t think it was worth mentioning it as we’re happy with her cleaning & there’s no harm done?
I did text her & said was my DS right & had she put some books back on the shelves she replied oh yeah, I borrow some now & again for my husband who loves reading & I knew you wouldn’t mind!
I know she’s returned the books but AIBU to think she should have asked me first? I’m a little concerned now that she may take something else?
She’s also started to bring a flask of tea with her & a sandwich to eat after she’s cleaned, she said she likes to sit at our dining table & enjoy the view of the garden 🤷‍♀️ She might ask to bring her grandchildren round next to play in our garden lol.
I personally think she’s a bit cheeky.

OP posts:
Myrevengewillbesweet · 16/04/2023 19:33

Yawn - the fortnightly "keep the servants in check " post right on cue .
Maybe do yer own cleaning if you mind so much hun.

Kanaloa · 16/04/2023 19:37

Myrevengewillbesweet · 16/04/2023 19:33

Yawn - the fortnightly "keep the servants in check " post right on cue .
Maybe do yer own cleaning if you mind so much hun.

Would you say this about other people being paid to provide services? Is it ok for caters to take your clothes? Can tradespeople help themselves to your jewellery? It’s not ‘keep the servants in check’ to expect somebody who you have paid to provide a service not to take your belongings out of your home.

Justmuddlingalong · 16/04/2023 19:41

After only 4 weeks, she's already overly familiar.
I would let her go and explain exactly why.

Identifyingasadolphin · 16/04/2023 19:42

She has removed your possessions from your property - without either your knowledge or your consent.

And she hasn’t even known you for very long…

Myrevengewillbesweet · 16/04/2023 19:42

@Kanaloa of course not, if it actually happened.

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 19:50

It’s not ok to borrow books but I wouldn’t mind her eating her lunch. Maybe she doesn’t have her own garden? And cleaning is an exhausting, awful job that I’m sure she is only doing because she’s desperate.

Gothambutnotahamster · 16/04/2023 19:50

Both of those are completely inappropriate - we've had the same cleaners for about 6 years and there's no way they'd do either of those things, so I'd absolutely get rid, especially as it's only been 4 weeks.

Kanaloa · 16/04/2023 19:55

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 19:50

It’s not ok to borrow books but I wouldn’t mind her eating her lunch. Maybe she doesn’t have her own garden? And cleaning is an exhausting, awful job that I’m sure she is only doing because she’s desperate.

It really isn’t. She’s not Dobby the house elf. I cleaned for a bit when my kids were small and it’s a pretty good number. Decent pay and flexible hours, plus you work for yourself in a sense. It’s not some desperate slog where you should pity anyone who is a cleaner.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 16/04/2023 21:02

It's not on. My cleaner won't even take a cup of tea if I'm making one. She does give the dog snuggles but given she lets them out to play if I'm not in, it's part of her job for us.

Floribundaflummery · 16/04/2023 21:11

I wouldn’t trust her as this is such over familiar behaviour and sounds like she has zero respect. 1.5 hours is such a short time, she should not need to eat and drink at your house. It would make me uncomfortable. Find someone new with a better attitude.

Shoemadlady · 16/04/2023 21:16

Massively overstepping. I'd be really unhappy with both issues.

evalsaro · 16/04/2023 21:23

With the books? Absolutely not.

I invited my cleaners to eat their lunch in my kitchen as I once was wfh and saw them eating in their car.

I now leave out tea/coffee jars and cups for them so they can have a quick cuppa as well.

But they also bring sweets for my children, bring us Christmas presents and are so, so lovely. I'd probably try to move them in with us if we won the lottery.

nzeire · 16/04/2023 21:34

My bookshelf is where I hide my gold bars. So I’d be annoyed, yes

mondaytosunday · 16/04/2023 21:36

Yes she should have asked. I wouldn't mind the eating. Definitely no to bringing her grandkids! She can't work and mind them at the same time.

SnarkyBag · 16/04/2023 21:43

Nope and her response would have pissed me off even more “I knew you wouldn’t mind” is basically her saying I think it’s fine and if you do mind then you’re being unreasonable. It’s brazen cheeky fuckery territory she’s counting on you now being too uncomfortable to say well actually I do mind. She knows you mind you wouldn’t have text to ask her otherwise.

ThisIsNotAmerican · 16/04/2023 21:48

Sack her. Before she starts on your husband. Parasite.

sunshineandshowers40 · 16/04/2023 21:51

She is annoying u after 4 weeks (it would annoy me too), I would find a new cleaner.

OhMerde · 16/04/2023 22:01

I'm a cleaner. I'd NEVER do this. You have to have complete trust in your cleaner. I also eat in my car. I could sit in the house after I've finished my hours and eat there but I wouldn't be comfortable. It's not my home. I would get rid immediately if my own cleaner did this.

ScreamingInfidelities · 16/04/2023 22:12

Massively overfamiliar for someone you’ve only known for 4 weeks. TBH I would sack her for the books thing alone. I complained about a cleaner when mu MIL popped round to pick something up and found the cleaner’s new puppy in my living room! She promised it wouldn’t happen again. I eventually sacked her when I came home early to find her sitting on my couch reading her magazine slap bang in the middle of the two hour clean I was paying her for. She was a cheeky cow.

thespy · 16/04/2023 22:28

At least she didn't eat your fancy hummus that you were holding back for book club without permission!

Toddlerteaplease · 16/04/2023 22:32

I had a cleaner like this once. She was really lovely, so it was really awkward. I once came home to her sitting on the stairs reading a magazine that had come in the post. If she'd asked me if she could read it, fine. But I was gobsmacked that she'd opened MY post! She was really flakey and unreliable by this point. I had if I had a really big vets bill for the cats (true) and couldn't afford a cleaner any more. So it wasn't too awkward.

FrumptyMumpty · 16/04/2023 22:33

Sack her.

That is horrendous. Borrowing your books to save buying them herself and enjoying your house for her lunch. Without asking both times!

It feels a bit like she is exploiting your lifestyle to enhance her own.

She’ll have your slippers on next and you’ll be cleaning away her crumbs.

LoveBluey · 16/04/2023 22:56

Definitely not normal and especially after such a short time.

I also don't know why some posters have such a bee in their bonnet about cleaners and how they deserve admiration for doing a horrible job and we should all put up with bad service because they are doing us a favour.
Firstly I give respect and manners to anyone I do business with whether that's a cleaner, gardener, plumber or lawyer. There's no hierarchy but also no sympathy. They choose to do a job, set their hourly rate and I choose whether or not to employ their services.
Secondly I don't see cleaning as a job to be pitied, it's a perfectly reasonable way of earning a living and not always a desperate last resort.

whynotwhatknot · 16/04/2023 23:00

no its rude you dont assume someone you work for wont mind you borrowing things shes not your friend

Izzy24 · 16/04/2023 23:03

Myrevengewillbesweet · 16/04/2023 19:33

Yawn - the fortnightly "keep the servants in check " post right on cue .
Maybe do yer own cleaning if you mind so much hun.

Yup.

Sometimes I have to check that it is actually 2023 and not 1923 when I read rubbish like this 🙄