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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask to expense the nursery fee

26 replies

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 16/04/2023 07:35

The company I work for organised a training day which I said I could attend, but then it was rearranged to one of my non-working days due to the trainer being ill.

I don't necessarily have a problem with "working" on one of my non-working days (since it is CPD) but I don't have any childcare on that day.

I could ask one of the grandparents to look after DS, but they live quite far away and I don't feel as though they should have to. The other options are DH takes annual leave (again, a loss to him). Or, I could put DS in nursery. But that's an extra £72 for us to pay.

Would it be unreasonable to ask work if I could expense the nursery fee? Or is this extremely cheeky?

OP posts:
Sycamoretrees · 16/04/2023 07:40

Are they paying you for the additional days work?

ChimChimeny · 16/04/2023 07:40

I can see the logic but I'm not sure my work would have agreed. Can you swap your.working days that week and ask nursery to swap as a one off?

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 16/04/2023 07:43

@Sycamoretrees I haven't asked if they'd pay me for the extra day. I could probably swap my working day that week so I'm not working extra.

@ChimChimeny hmm I don't know if nursery would go for that. I could ask! But they tend to not want to do things like that

OP posts:
HyuNis · 16/04/2023 07:45

If the training day is mandatory then yes you can ask as it's not your fault it's on a day you have no child care. Or you can ask to be paid for the day and use that towards childcare.
If it's not mandatory then no I wouldn't ask as it's yours choice to attend,

ZenNudist · 16/04/2023 07:47

I always expensed additional childcare costs incurred when work needed me on my NWD.

CarlaTheGnome · 16/04/2023 07:47

In these circumstances I just wouldn't be able to attend the training day. Our nursery needs at least a couple of week's' notice for moving sessions around or booking into extra ones and they're not keen on doing it anyway. Is this training essential for your role? If so surely it's up to your employer to facilitate it in line with your contracted hours, not for you to reorganise everything around the trainer!

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 16/04/2023 07:47

@HyuNis yes I think this makes sense. It's either I get paid or I ask for the nursery fee isn't it. Thank you!

OP posts:
Xjshdvf · 16/04/2023 07:48

When I’ve mentioned that it costs me extra to work on my non working day my work have discussed paying me extra for that day

Oncetheystartschool · 16/04/2023 07:48

If your work is making attendance mandatory thrn yes I would expense it, same as if they asked me to travel for a meeting.

If its optional then I would decline to attend and remind them its my non working day.

SnackSizeRaisin · 16/04/2023 07:53

They should pay you to attend a training day and you can pay nursery out of that. If they don't want to pay then they should pay your expenses as a minimum. Or you could just say you can't attend. Depends how keen you are to go to the training and what your company are generally like. However normal practice for a decent workplace would be that you get paid for training days, if CPD is required for the role.

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 16/04/2023 07:54

It's not mandatory, but it would be good to attend for career progression. I'm a lawyer and it's sales training, and part of a wider initiative by the firm to target clients. Luckily my job is pretty 9-5 for the most part, but it's the kind of job where you don't get overtime for working late nights or weekends. So I'm not sure how it would go down asking to be paid for an extra day. That's really why I'm thinking asking them to reimburse me for the childcare costs is "better" (and cheaper) for them

OP posts:
potatowhale · 16/04/2023 07:59

If its your NWD they should be treating that the same as a weekend

NEmama · 16/04/2023 08:01

Do you get tax free childcare? £72 is expensive.
Ask to be paid for the day.

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 16/04/2023 08:04

@NEmama tell me about it! I'm not even in London. It's just gone up 9%, used to be slightly less

OP posts:
Evely · 16/04/2023 08:09

I'd start with the nursery - ask if they can swap your day and then rearrange your working day for that week.

Do you have much notice - i.e is this a month away or next week?

You need to speak to nursery ASAP anyway because they have staff ratios and a capacity quota - e.g if this training is on a Thursday they may have full capacity on a Thursday and couldn't swap even if you paid extra.

So speak to them first, secure the extra day.

It's also equally possible that if say your DC is in nursery 4 days a week - they will only offer an extra day, they won't swap a day. And again this is because of staff quotas, they still have to pay their staff, so you might not be able to swap and change your days around.

You certainly can't at my nursery. You're contracted for your days and if you need another day you have to pay on top. They genuinely have to do this so people aren't swapping and changing constantly - they need to know exactly how many staff are required in on any given day. My nursery is at capacity - if a parent whose child was in say 3 days a week asked if they could they do an extra day that week - my nursery would say no - the best the could offer would be - call on the morning, if someone has cancelled their session e.g a child is unwell at home then they can take an additional child but usually they won't know that until gone 9am and then you pay an additional emergency fee (although it's only a small fee, less than £10)

So anyway, before you speak to your work, talk to your nursery first.

Bellyrumble · 16/04/2023 08:11

Also a lawyer- I work 5 days so it wouldn’t create same issue for me but I know how my firm would react to other colleagues in your situation

give them the option to either pay you for the day (probably easier for them!) or to reimburse. They’ll be glad you’ve gone on the CPD course as it’ll benefit them as a business

most firms I think would prefer to pay you for the day. As your target is probably already set for the year you won’t be able to record any chargeables that day I’d assume- it probably suits them better for you to do as an additional day rather than a day swap and have a hole in chargeable hours on a working day (as would be the case for those working 5 days- they’ll have a full day out of charging time multiplied by however many lawyers)

also means less stress for you having a full day out of your working days where you’d probably be expected to make the chargeable time back before year end (even if it’s only 7 hours over a year, it still adds pressure!)

Dibbydoos · 16/04/2023 08:12

It's reasonable if they are asking you to change your working pattern. They could decline, of course, but I'd ask.

Slidingdowntherainbow · 16/04/2023 08:15

You need to talk to your boss and provide these options

  1. you don't go
  2. you can go but can't afford the childcare cost, will they cover it.

Your manager can decide how important it is that you're there. I can't imagine overly if they booked it on a day you don't work.

DarkForces · 16/04/2023 08:16

I was able to claim childcare expenses when my work wanted me in on extra non working days. I think it made them think twice about adding extra days on too!

BKJ89 · 16/04/2023 08:19

If you swap with a working day to ensure you are doing the same days each week, would it not be more beneficial to send your child into nursery on the day you're working and keep them home on the day you're not working? That way you won't be losing any money? Most nurseries will allow this with notice? Please correct me if I'm wrong x

NewLifter · 16/04/2023 08:22

Have you asked DH what he thinks about taking the AL day? Mine loved a wee sneaky day off with the DC when they were wee. Certainly wouldn't have viewed it as a 'waste'.

Emelene · 16/04/2023 08:23

I work in the NHS and if I attend a training day on my non working day I get time off in lieu - so an extra day paid holiday - would that work?

NewLifter · 16/04/2023 08:23

DarkForces · 16/04/2023 08:16

I was able to claim childcare expenses when my work wanted me in on extra non working days. I think it made them think twice about adding extra days on too!

Thats a really good point!!

Kfjsjdbd · 16/04/2023 08:23

You definitely should expense the extra day in childcare. Companies need to understand that switching on childcare isn’t easy or cheap.

Poppins2016 · 16/04/2023 08:28

Another option is asking nursery if they can swap days as a one off. Mine will do this for parents occasionally if they have capacity.

I agree that asking to expense childcare costs is reasonable in this situation (although someone makes a good point that if you're being paid for the time, it mitigates it... but only if you're being paid to work that extra day as opposed to swapping your working day but still paying out for childcare on the day you would otherwise have worked).

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