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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder where my donated item went?

294 replies

LemonTreeSkies · 16/04/2023 04:11

There is a local charity that does great work. They had a fundraiser planned for today and we’re asking for raffle items. I sent the organiser a photo of a brand new items that was appropriate to their audience that I was willing to donate if they wanted it. It was worth about £200. He said yes, great, they’d appreciate it.
fundraiser event was today. Someone posted a video of a walk through of the raffle items and I didn’t see my item there.
I’ve just watched a replay of the live video of all the tickets being drawn and my donation wasn’t there. I’m not sure if IBU to be a bit peeved.
Im not sure if I should message asking what happened to the item I donated or just take the attitude I was willing to donate it so it shouldn’t matter what happened to it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/04/2023 13:04

There's also the possibility that some charities could deliberately hold back a valuable donation for as long as it takes to demote it to 'that old thing we've had knocking around for ages' and then 'dispose of it' internally.

LouisCatorze · 16/04/2023 13:34

One of the perks of working for free in a charity shop is getting first dibs on donations, but not as freebies.

Agree that if it was an item of value, the charity could have decided to hold it back for a silent auction, particularly if they had plenty of other decent prizes already in the raffle.

CoffeeCantata · 16/04/2023 13:37

That sounds dodgy - I'd definitely ask. Let's hope someone hasn't filched it for themselves. It's a hell of a high-value item to donate for a raffle.

blueshoes · 16/04/2023 13:48

OP, how did you drop the item off? Was it into a donation box in an area that anyone had access to. Or to someone at reception? Did you get an acknowledgement of receipt or the name of the person who took it?

If you ask about the item (which I would because this sort of thing pisses me off), drop this info into your message to help the organiser trace back.

Ted27 · 16/04/2023 14:46

My son volunteers in a charity shop. I've donated several expensive dresses to them. The manager sells high quality stuff on ebay because they can get more money than selling them in the shop

brooksidebackside · 16/04/2023 14:50

It's interesting you are expecting honesty from others when you don't give it yourself.

nomoredriving · 16/04/2023 14:53

It doesn't make sense does it. Is every conversation in anger, so he's just being belligerent? Have you tried a x discussion about the effects on the children?

WilsonMilson · 16/04/2023 14:53

Sounds dodgy. I’d suspect someone went off with it instead of raffling it.
I’d absolutely ask and I wouldn’t let it go until I got to the bottom of it either!

Changeling78 · 16/04/2023 15:06

I’d definitely ask where it is.
I have a question though, you hid it in your dcs room ms for 3 years??? Doesn’t he go in their rooms? Why haven’t you given it to him sooner? Surely a birthday passes and you decide not to give it, then you get rid of it, not keep hiding it for another two years.

Zonder · 16/04/2023 15:10

Hopefully an innocent explanation.

SmudgeButt · 16/04/2023 15:23

Would you be happy to find out that someone had paid the charity a good price for the item? It may have been received and someone said "OMG! I was trying to get that for my DP's birthday tomorrow but wasn't able to source it! If I pay you <massive amount> can I have it instead of it going into the raffle?" And the organisers look and see they have tons of stuff ready for raffle that will raise X no matter what so say yes.

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 16/04/2023 15:39

nomoredriving · 16/04/2023 14:53

It doesn't make sense does it. Is every conversation in anger, so he's just being belligerent? Have you tried a x discussion about the effects on the children?

I think you posted on the wrong thread @nomoredriving 🤔

And more I've conveniently placemarked for the update 😉

Coffeetree · 16/04/2023 15:41

Hopefully an innocent explanation OP but absolutely ask. Just email and say "I dropped off X item at [place] on [date] but I noticed it wasn't raffled off? Wondered if you decided to do something different with it, or whether I should take it back?"

That gives them a chance to explain what happened... or let them know that something went awry.

Paq · 16/04/2023 15:45

Even if the charity decided to use it for another charitable purpose, i.e. selling it or holding it over until the next raffle, it it still goes against fundraising code of conduct/governance and OP is entitled to her donation back.

I hate that some charities seem to think they get a free pass on good practice because "oh we're all volunteers and we're doing a good thing."

Original poster
LemonTreeSkies · 16/04/2023 16:04

Sorry to keep you all hanging, I’m not in the UK so there’s a big time difference.
It was a framed picture of vehicles he likes (or liked).
I saw it in a shopping centre and bid on it. Unfortunately I won. When it was delivered it was bloody massive!

It was an impulse buy and when it arrived I looked at it and thought “yeah,…..nah”. DH would have said “yeah, lovely….thanks?” Whilst thinking what the bloody hell did she buy waste money on that for?
I planned to sell it but it would have difficult to do so secretly so it got hidden under beds or behind bookcases in the kids’ rooms. Most of the time I’d forgotten about it.

This organization do work I like so when I saw they were holding a fundraiser event I offered to donate it to them. Yes, I made a typo - I dropped it AT a business, not AS a business. The guy who runs the org told me to drop it at this place so both he and the people there were expecting to receive it.

To answer someone else, it WAS in as-new condition. I’d slid it out of the box twice; once to take a look at it (and think “yeah, made a mistake with this one”) and again to photograph it to show the organiser what I was going to donate so he could decide if he wanted it. The bubble wrap was never removed.

There were donated prizes worth a lot more than mine.

OP posts:
DrHousecuredme · 16/04/2023 16:06

If they got too many items for the raffle then they might have sold the most saleable on eBay or the likes. Either that or somebody took a fancy to it and made an offer. The thing is, if they can actually make more money this way rather than holding one big raffle then you can't blame them for that r

DrHousecuredme · 16/04/2023 16:07

Really can you?
Anyway, just ask them rather than letting it bother you. Hopefully there's a sensible explanation.

BuddyandTinsel · 16/04/2023 16:07

Maybe they didn't think anyone would want it OP. Sorry. I'd be gutted if I won a raffle and it was a huge framed picture of some vehicles 😊

DrHousecuredme · 16/04/2023 16:11

BuddyandTinsel · 16/04/2023 16:07

Maybe they didn't think anyone would want it OP. Sorry. I'd be gutted if I won a raffle and it was a huge framed picture of some vehicles 😊

I agree with this, as it's big raffling it would probably end up with somebody else feeling "stuck" with it. Or maybe somebody won and refused it?
Either way, it sounds quite niche so selling it might have proved a better option.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 16/04/2023 16:11

If they are doing, or plan to, do regular fundraisers, you might find it appears in the next one as they might be spreading out the decent stuff.

Similar happened to me, I donated a number of items for a local charity on-line auction, including a brand new gift boxed expensive pen. It didn't appear in the auction, which I thought a bit odd and hoped it hadn't gone walkabout as I'd just handed over a bag of stuff at their shop, but was in the next auction a month later.

dittbtdity · 16/04/2023 16:13

Place marking to discover what happened to it

crochetmonkey74 · 16/04/2023 16:13

Shhhquirrel · 16/04/2023 05:57

Why on earth didn’t you let your DH decide if he wanted the item, rather than ‘hiding’ it? Bizarre behavior.

Bore off

Original poster
LemonTreeSkies · 16/04/2023 16:13

BuddyandTinsel · 16/04/2023 16:07

Maybe they didn't think anyone would want it OP. Sorry. I'd be gutted if I won a raffle and it was a huge framed picture of some vehicles 😊

Sorry, should have been more specific. I don’t think DH is on here 😂
It was a poster of Harley Davidsons through the ages - DH has two but we’ve both lost interest in riding and he’s going to sell one at least. A lot of the people in this organisation are biker types so I think the organiser was genuine when he said he’d like to have it to auction.

Raffles here generally aren’t random. All the prizes are on display and you put your tickets into a pot/box/jar etc next to the prize/s you like so you won’t win a prize you didn’t choose.

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonTreeSkies · 16/04/2023 16:16

Yes, there was also a silent auction but I didn’t see it there either.

sorry, I’m just replying to questions as I remember them. This thread moved on a bit while I was sleeping.

another apology to those hoping for a strap-on

I didn’t let DH decide if he wanted it because as soon as it arrived I knew he wouldn’t. As I said - impulse buy.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 16/04/2023 16:21

I've worked for two charities, please ask. If there's sticky fingers involved they'll want to know

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