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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't need lots in a party bag?

110 replies

Yahyahs22 · 15/04/2023 17:14

So when I was a kid it was a couple cheapy 'toys' and a slice of the birthday cake. Now I've been told you need toys, sweets, party hats, bubbles and you have to cater for both boys and girls?? Someone even suggested a GIFT CARD in each party bag. Surely that's not the norm?? I'm doing my son's first big party so if anyone has been to one recently (ages 3-5) could you tell me what kind of things was in the bags?

OP posts:
sanityisamyth · 15/04/2023 18:55

Heroicallyfound · 15/04/2023 17:21

I wish we would abolish party bags - full of tat, expensive, and the bits just get lost in the car on the way home. Slice of cake is fine.

This. It's all landfill anyway.

Winkenblinkenandnod · 15/04/2023 18:56

My kids are past that stage now but I remember a party DS went to when the children were each given a bag of frogspawn in water instead of a party bag! We live rurally so I think the frogs all found good homes. Not sure how delighted all the parents were but children were thrilled and we thought it was inspired!

PeapodBurgundy · 15/04/2023 18:56

After DS's first party where he received gifts much fancier than expected, I've always tried to do 'nice' party favours/bags so I don't feel too guilty about what it's cost people to come and celebrate with us. I also try to buy sustainable things where possible.

As PP have done, I've usually gone for a selection of the 10 for £10 books from the works, (children pick on their way out spares are added to our bookcase) with some sweets.

One year I did Paint Your Own Biscuit kits, they went down a treat.

Another year I gave out Sand Art Kits but these were leftover stock from a business I no longer run, not purchased for this purpose.

The only year there has been a bag of tat, was DS's birthday just gone. He had a joint party with a friend, myself and the other Mam divided the jobs up, she did party bags and that's what she chose. (Fine by me, the kids were thrilled with them).

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, children tend to be happy with anything.

Agoodidea · 15/04/2023 18:57

admittedly it this was a long time ago, but when my lot were coming home with party bag ‘tat’ I’d let them explore the contents, eat the sweets obviously, but then gather up any abandoned, unused tat such as stickers, pens, pencils etc and re-cycled it in their Christmas stockings.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 15/04/2023 18:57

I do a slice of cake in a cake box and make my own sweet cones

Improbablecat · 15/04/2023 18:58

My kid has been to a party today. She got a bit of cake, a cardboard glider thing, some temporary tattoos, a packet of haribo and a lolly. She's v happy!
Her birthday is just before Halloween so I put Halloween sweets, a squishy ghost and a little pot of slime in her party bags. I also did halloweeny bags themselves and gave out felt fabric bags with ghosts on that I got as a job lot on ebay. Got good feedback from parents as they were re-used for guising on Halloween! Could work for birthdays around Easter time too.

Needmorelego · 15/04/2023 18:59

No you don't need much in a party bag.
You also don't need "whole class" parties, hiring a hall/soft play, an entertainer, food and drink for the adults, individual lunch boxes for the kids etc.
Half a dozen kids, few games like pass the parcel, stick the tail, musical statues, some bowls of crisps and sausage rolls.
That's all. Much more fun 😂

WhiteFire · 15/04/2023 19:00

Recently I was at my local shops and a group of children who had obviously just come out of a party were running around with the big bubble wands / tubes. They were really enjoying themselves.

I did an Easter egg one year, but obviously this only works with a party at the right time of year (and for that year only)

Blessedbethefruitz · 15/04/2023 19:02

I did party bags this year for 4 year olds. Cake slice, mini haribos, mini activity book, punch balloons and foam gliders. About £20 for 15, excluding the cake. Loads left over and we use the gliders and balloons regularly at home anyway, but they don't last forever.

Can confirm my little boy doesn't care what's in party bags he receives lol. Loved packing his own though.

Stripedbag101 · 15/04/2023 19:02

Unfortunately kids live them - fortunately they don’t really notice the quality!!!

the last lot I did was for my seven year old niece a few years ago.

I put in a little kinder chocolate bar, some maom sweets, a couple of punch balloons, a bouncy ball, mini bubbles, some hair scrunchies and one Disney mini kids nail varnish. It was actually all really cheap. I put it in a cheap plastic Disney cup and wrapped it in cellophane.

StaySpicy · 15/04/2023 19:02

I don't like plastic in party bags, so always use paper bags or boxes. I put in a slice of cake, something they can grow (cress seeds or a packet of wildflowers or similar),and something like origami paper and instructions to make a fox or an expandable flannel or something like that. I like things that can be used and recycled/composted or consumed!

Katrinawaves · 15/04/2023 19:04

Haha this brings back memories.

I did the book and slice of cake thing one year for my DS1. His class that year in primary school were all high achievers and good readers. I was told in no uncertain terms that it was the worst party bag from all the parties they attended that year!

By contrast the year I nailed it, I gave them each a Terry’s Chocolate Orange and slice of cake.

Kittycash · 15/04/2023 19:06

Yours are a bit young yet OP but once they’re 7 plus I prefer a bran tub.
The youngest picks first, the dc just get one gift each but it’s easier to buy something that’s not tat.

breakingintopieces · 15/04/2023 19:07

When I was a kid, we got birthday cake (essential), bubbles, sweets (e.g. nothing extravagant, a 10p mix type bag was fine, but I dread to think how much they cost these days!), a cheap plain balloon and a piece of tat.

Tat is tat - I don't think it's gender specific. And as much as parents love environmentally friendly or less tat-like options, children who are the right age for a party bag will always love tat. It's basically whatever assorted junk you can buy in bulk at Poundland and then randomly add into each bag.

<wistful> I want a party bag now. They're like shit lucky dips. A lot of people never grow out of them!

MrsMiddleMother · 15/04/2023 19:09

My ds4 had a softplay party in February, in his party bags i put in a pyo clay dinosaur, personalised Colouring in card, haribo, kinder egg and bubbles + cake at the end.
He's been to loads of parties now, some party bags are fab and some are pure tat but they've all been different.

Stripedbag101 · 15/04/2023 19:12

Katrinawaves · 15/04/2023 19:04

Haha this brings back memories.

I did the book and slice of cake thing one year for my DS1. His class that year in primary school were all high achievers and good readers. I was told in no uncertain terms that it was the worst party bag from all the parties they attended that year!

By contrast the year I nailed it, I gave them each a Terry’s Chocolate Orange and slice of cake.

😂. I remember the mum who did the book thing even in my day. We all had homes full of books - we all had the book that was given out and I think half the kids left theirs behind! I still remember the cover - it was the elves and the shoemaker - ladybird I think. We even had it in the school library! Kids were just horrified!

I also remember some other mums muttering - does she not think we buy our kids books😂😂.

I live books though - just hate when other people pick them for me.

NoAprilFool · 15/04/2023 19:16

hattie43 · 15/04/2023 18:17

Jeez there's always one has to sneak in a gender throwaway

Show quote history

Well yeah, girls and boys bags were mentioned in the OP???

unless they include cock rings and dildos (in which case they’re not suitable for children), why does there need to be a difference?

Hankunamatata · 15/04/2023 19:17

Ita funny as no-one does cake in the bags here. Usually just some sweets, bubbles and stickers or tatoos

Beelezebub · 15/04/2023 19:17

No slime, no whistles, no play doh, no paint, no recorders, no face paint… we’ve had all those things in party bags and I questioned the parent’s wisdom.

Pencil, rubber, colouring book, sweets, book, bouncy ball, medal (little kids love medals), piece of cake, stickers, balloon - any of those are fine, but you don’t need loads of things IMO.

I can’t believe someone suggested a gift card!

Deadringer · 15/04/2023 19:17

I always just put a couple of mini bars, sweets and a packet of crisps in party bags, couldn't be doing with all the plastic tat. None of my dc ever got birthday cake in their bags (I have 5 so lots of parties over the years), maybe it's just a UK thing?

whatkatydid2013 · 15/04/2023 19:18

We’ve done books (both to read and sparkly notepads/pencils), diaries (which I spied at 90% off near smallest daughter’s birthday), gym kit style bags with sinkers for a swimming party, Lego people (from advent calendars on sale and the build your own tubs), mini Lego sets (made from the pick a brick wall), tie dye T-shirts (made at the party as our activity and you can get really cheaply from Primark or amazon) and sweet cones. Kids are happy with pretty much everything I think.

chocspot · 15/04/2023 19:18

Sweetie cones! Always went down well, cheap, easy to make up yourself.

Hardbackwriter · 15/04/2023 19:18

So many of these comments saying what they prefer their kids to get in party bags - they're not for you?! I get the aversion to plastic waste and I think the origami kit suggested upthread is a good one. Realistically, kids do not want one of a remaindered multipack of books.

Delpi65 · 15/04/2023 19:19

I stopped doing party bags when my youngest was 6 - we used the money to pay for a magician instead - as the kids were leaving one said 'and where's my party bag?' I replied "we don't do them in our house - because it's not cool 😎 anymore'"

Sceptre86 · 15/04/2023 19:20

For my dd"s 7 th birthday I did a sweet cone, iced biscuit, with her name on, cupcake, activity book stationary (pencil, sharpener, eraser, ruler), some colouring in pencils, a small purse and bubbles.

It depends on their age and how much you want to spend. I have done books previously. I don't like the plastic toys, the kids leave them out, they break easily and are often a choking hazard.

At 3 I wouldn't do much more than bubbles and or cake and some sweets.