Nursery want 3.5yr old DD in nappies

[CaitlinJ]

We started DD with potty training after her 2nd birthday. Initially went well, seemed ready at just turned 2yo. She would have the occasional accident but we didn’t make a fuss and just cleaned it up. She regressed badly, multiple accidents daily. We had other things going on too, so I'm not surprised by the regression. But 6 months on, she is still having multiple daily accidents and I'm at a loss. I've tried most things, have previously taken her to the GP to rule out infection. Nursery have now suggested putting her back into nappies, to ease the pressure on him. When wearing a nappy, she will make no attempt to use the toilet and if I don’t ask/check her will stay in a wet nappy all day. I can see what they're saying but most things I've read say not to go back to nappies? She’s 4 in November

You can't send her to nursery in no nappies if she's not fully toilet trained.

Is she definitely not constipated?

I'd take a week off work and really crack the toilet training.

Yes I have taken her to the doctors now on two occasions to rule that out and she’s passing stools fine.

She's been having multiple accidents for 6 months so I think honestly putting her back into nappies or pull ups would probably be a very sensible decision.

Give her a break and then in a month or so take another crack at it.

Did you start when she had just turned 2, or 3?

I agree with PP that you can't send her in not properly toilet trained. The occasional accident is to be expected (children get distracted playing etc) but not multiple accidents a day for the nursery to clear up.

When she turned 2

Would people recommend using nappies and not mentioning the toilet at all or using pull ups and still encourage her?

Pull ups so she can use them like pants and allowing her the opportunity to use the toilet at specific intervals. E.g before you leave the house, before a meal etc.

She's clearly not actually ever been what I would consider potty trained and therefore you need to go back to the very beginning.

I think pull-ups. Is there any way for you to take a chunk of time off work and crack it? Does she have accidents at home as well as nursery?

Yeah she has accidents at home, most of the time I clean them up with no issues. She still wears a nappy at night.

Yeah that is a good idea to get her used to going at certain times

I agree she wasn't ready so would put her in pull ups to break the cycle and try again in a month or so.

I would stop mentioning using the toilet altogether. If pull ups are easier, use those.
Take a week off in a couple of months, stay at home, do a boot camp then. Summer = garden play, sunny days to dry extra washing quickly.

She needs to be in pull ups - I really don't understand sending her in underwear when she's not potty trained (or very close to being).

She hasn't been having accidents, she's not toilet trained. Set aside a few days at home, ideally in the garden or in one room. Potty ready. Give her lots of her favourite drinks and watch her like a hawkl.

As soon as she starts to go sit her on potty. They catch on amazingly quickly.

Never known this to not work, usually just after second birthday.

That’s my plan, I think I will just stop mentioning the toilet and wait till summer where accidents are less of an issue as everything can be washed quicker.

I would also say she was too young and can it completely for a month. Take all focus and pressure off- don’t even mention it, just go full time nappies.

Come late may/June hit it hard with absolutely no going or looking back.

Is there any differences between nappy pants and pull ups or are they the same thing? We have never used them before as we went straight to underwear

We tried potty training pants after DD's 3rd birthday. They are like thick knickers and washable. She could feel wet and know she'd been. I found these worked better for us. You can buy them on Amazon.

I'd try washable training pants alongside regular toilet trips. She'll be a lot more aware of being wet so less likely just to wee in them but they will contain the accidents.

Is there any differences between nappy pants and pull ups or are they the same thing? We have never used them before as we went straight to underwear

Nappy pants and pull ups are basically the same thing.

I would definitely hit it really hard in a consistent way yourself though - I wouldn't outsource it to nursery. If you do a week of consistently doing it, it'll be pain-free.

Also good idea on the potty training pants, I used these rather than pullups and it worked well. I'd use pullups for nursery for now though as she's not toilet trained yet

The title says 3.5yrs but I think you mean 2.5yrs. No nursery would allow over 3s in nappies, they are usually all over you to train them by 3. But 2.5 is quite young. Potty training should only take 1-2 weeks if they are ready.

If you potty trained her at 2 and she was fine for 18months, and has only recently regressed, I’d work on why that has happened. Is it new nursery, or a big change at home?

How is your daughter at home? Does she have accidents there as well, or just in nursery?

DS was potty trained at 2.5, but we did find he still had semi-regular accidents at nursery because nobody there reminded him to go to the toilet (he could go whenever he wanted, but he’d get engrossed in playing and forget).

At home, he literally never had an accident because we’d remind him if he hadn’t been for a while, or we were going out, or looked like he was hopping about holding on, and make him try if he said he didn’t need to go (always turned out that he did need to).

I haven’t read all responses so apologies if this is repetitive but:
We started toilet training at the same time (just turned two) and had a serious/total regression at 2.5 (we’d moved house, started nursery, loads going on).
Went back to nappies/pull ups until she was 3.5 and it was clear to us she was ready to try again.
She did quite well but we’ve had on/off issues since then including lots of small accidents daily and toilet refusal.
We have got to the bottom of it recently- she was constipated/impacted and the volume of poo in her bowel was causing havoc with her bladder and toilet-needing-sensitivity.
We did a disimpaction and it has resolved everything. She’s now nearly 5.
She was having a daily bowel movement so we didn’t realise that she was full of poo (and new poo was basically squeezing past the old poo).

in short, I would put her back in nappies to take the pressure of everyone for a few months and consider whether she might be constipated, despite the daily bowel movement.

good luck!

If she's having that many accidents she's not toilet trained therefore needs to be in nappies. It will also take the pressure off and you can re start from fresh ina. Few months