Cost of childcare - is it worth working for near nothing after paying for childcare?

[PJRules]

Was hearing about how 'the cost of childcare means mums are having to give up work' on the radio today.

As a headline it's shocking but I wonder how true it is.

When mine was a baby I made about £20 a day after paying childcare and commuting costs (working 3 days a week).

Is it worth working for 10 hours for £20? Not unless you're desperate for the money imo but it had other advantages:
I stayed in enployment
I progressed in my career
My pension built up
I had a job in case DH lost his
I was mentally stimulated
I got to spend time with adults

When people say they're worse off working is it genuinely true or is it that they don't see the value in going to work for the money they'd get (or they'd just rather be home with baby, no judgement here 😊)?

YABU - I would be financially worse off going to work
YANBU - I would be financially better off but might not think the advantages are worth it

Really I'm just interested to see past the headlines, maybe it really is financially negative for a lot of people to work.

@Fleebeee I got pregnant by accident, sooner than we planned and that year before my daughter started school, paying for them both in nursery was very expensive. Just lucky it didn't put us in the negative! But I get your point, and it would be great if my DH workplace were more accommodating as it currently falls on me to try and fill any gaps in childcare! Currently it doesn't seem worth the stress, was considering dropping my hours but not sure if my employer will be on board.

A friend of mine went back to work after her 2nd baby and their childcare bill was more than her take home. It's a few years of hardship but then once school kicks in and it's only down to wraparound care, there's a bit more in the pot and she didn't drop down the career ladder or lose out on pension contributions etc. It's a long game. You have to decide whether its worth it for you or not.

I stayed in work as I knew the high childcare cost years were only temporary and for all the reasons you listed.

I really love my job, I love working, I love adult conversation. I find parenthood hard; I'm not a natural parent. I think working makes me a better parent as I need that child-free time.

For me to go back full time after DD I would have made £80 a month after all expenses paid out (childcare, city centre parking permit, fuel etc). As it were covid hit, we had to shield so I handed my notice in, wasn't worth it all for that pittance. I now WFH three days a week during school hours, have a tiny amount of childcare to pay as the free hours don't quite cover it all and I come out after expenses with £1k a month.

If I could make full time pay work then I'd go back just for the things you mention i.e pension, career progression. Unfortunately if I change jobs then I won't get the southern rate of pay that I currently get as I've now moved away from the area. Jobs that are the same here are a good £3-5k less per year and that's five years after I last worked full time. I've tried crunching the numbers the best I can and unless I get a significant pay rise I can't go back full time once the youngest starts school as the wrap around would wipe what I'd gain.

Add up your joint salaries and take home pay.
Deduct mortgage childcare bills etc

Add up the soft stuff, incl paid holidays, benefits, pensions.

Do the same without your salary
Is it worth it?

I left after my third for this reason. Paying petrol at the time and childcare was over 200€ more than my wage. Kids were first in last out of crèche and one would inevitably fall asleep just half an hour after we got home. Well done to all the people who stuck it out etc, I couldn’t. The money was definitely the deciding factor. All that stress and we paid to do it😅😅😅

I gave up a career and didn’t regret it. I wasn’t even sure I could break even on childcare.
Its worked out fine. I went back to a related area after 10 years with a more flexible lifestyle and similar pay. Part time. Needed less money without work, from clothes to quick food to transport.
Pension isn’t perfect but manageable. Worth it totally for the reduced stress and being with famiky

I think a lot depends on earning potential as well as actual salary. If you're likely to see good career progression, then there are very obvious benefits to staying in work, but if you don't really have much in the way of skills and you're likely to stay on a low wage forever, then I can see why people think it isn't worth it.

It really depends on your personal situation.

I stayed in a part time, poorly paid job when my kids were small. I had a nanny and basically paid her almost what I was paid. It paid off because it kept my foot in the door. I also did some additional voluntary activities that helped my career prospects. I appreciated the time with my children- which for me personally was the right amount of time. I needed the break of going to work to be the best mother I could.

Now that all my children are in school, I have walked into a well paid, full time job. I also kept up my pension.

My husband has recently gone part time. When we crunched the numbers we would have been -£600 a month worse off with him being full time and then us paying for childcare. With all the added stress on a household of two full time workers. At part time we are -£350 worse off, but the impact on our day to day is huge.Our two year old daughter and 4 year old son love spending time with their dad during the day. Chores are done, everything is more organised and less stressful as we aren’t trying to claw back time that doesn’t exist to do the menial stuff. On an evening, he does a 4 hour stint at work and I do dinner/ bed bath time. I work in education and the fact we now have all the holiday days together as a family is wonderful, as we manage to now have some time to ourselves, which we would never have had before. Quality of life is far, far superior than us both working full time.

I actually think we'd have better and more affordable childcare if mothers (and it's usually mothers who earn less and have a salary swallowed up by childcare) valued their labour more because of course it's ridiculous to work all week for £50 or even £100. No-one else in society does that under an employment contract. Then we tell ourselves how wonderful and worthwhile it is. Of course everyone takes the p* why should the government change. Everybody else wins. I took 5 years out of my well paid but actually really terrible job, I made more money working the odd evening and weekend than I would have done going back. I had an amazing time with all the people I met and experiences I'd have never had in work, I loved time with my kids and family and it was time to volunteer, do bits of training etc. Now I've been back in work full time for 5 years and in a much better role and salary than I would have been had I stayed in my old role. The first year wasn't easy and I had to move around a bit but completely worth it. There are always other jobs and your skills don't vanish if you don't want to work for nothing for a few years.

Childcare cost are absolute bullshit. I had children late so already had “my career”. The keeping up to date, pension contributions narrative appears just to make oneself feel more comfortable with the situation.
it angers you the hell out of me that I’m paying £1800 a month in nursery fees….I’m lucky that I can afford it. But it angers me that it pushes so many women out of the workplace and their independence.
If you’re in a low wage job obviously you can walk away and rejoin at a later date. If you’re on a career ladder and highly skilled….obviously you can walk away and rejoin at a later date

Nobody on this thread has mentioned the cost to children of being in low quality childcare.

Just because parents pay so much, doesn't translate to decent wages for the staff. Based on my own experience with my child, I feel like what happened to poor baby Genevieve is the tip of the iceberg of neglect and poor care that goes unseen in some UK settings.

We need better state funding for childcare like other European countries. Not just for parents' earnings, but because you get what you pay for and many childcare workers are on minimum wage.

We pay out about £1000 in childcare a month.
might be less stressful not to work but I wouldnt afford my home, car, certainly not holidays.
in a few years those costs should go down by at least half when my youngest goes to school.
I don’t want to lose my skills and be out of work and potentially struggle to get back into work when kids are up a bit. So I choose to work full time. It’s not easy

I'd say going back part time is the ideal. Or 2nd choice compressed hours. If your partner does the same it means 3 days a week maximum for childcare. You'll have more time with baby and it will be less stressful if they are sick and less rushing about with drop offs, commuting, house work etc.

I agree op. It's not just the money for those preschool years, it's being able to keep your career for the 30+ years you have of working after they start school. Identity and purpose outside of motherhood is something a lot of women need, not all I know. And it's a good safety net if the partner stops being able to provide or chooses to run off.

My personal choice is part time working while I have a toddler so I can see more of him and help him play and develop I feel that five full days at nursery would be too much for both of us to handle but that's just what works for us and luckily despite making sacrifices like staying in a tiny flat, it's worth it for us.

@Ferngardens there's a real problem if the mother pays all the childcare. It should be split with the father as it allows him to work too!

It also depends if people actually like their job or not some leave for mat leave and realise they could never go back to the high pressured stressful environment they were in before and their child needs a calm mother more than a high earning mother

Same for me. Plundered our savings for a year for the privilege of working when we had two in nursery. It does get better but while you’re in it I can’t deny that it’s soul destroying.