Wedding Extras and Step Mother

[WhiteCoal]

Hello, I'm planning my wedding and need some outside views on whether I'm being unreasonable not to pay for certain things my partners step mother says are "absolute must haves".

We're getting married in a venue 45 minutes away. There are some evening guests (work colleagues) and to be honest I wasn't planning on arranging a mini bus for them. DPs Step mother says this is awful and not the done thing and we need to put on transport.

She also isn't happy im only paying for the MoB and Bridesmaids accommodation for the night before. My thinking was that I'm asking them to be at the venue early for hair and makeup so I should cover that overnight cost and then if they choose to stay the night of they have the choice to pay to stay on, or get a cheaper hotel 5 mins away or of course can pop in a taxi home.

Me and DP are covering all costs but I'm genuinely not sure if I'm being unreasonable not budgeting for these and she seems to think its a significant and stingy misstep so I'm really keen for what you think and what you did/covered

YABU - pay up Ebenezer
YANBU - this isn't the done thing. Save your money for other expenses

We paid for no accommodation or transport. Never had a hotel paid for me either as part of bridal party. She's being ridiculous.

what Is it with people and others peoples weddings? Congratulations by the way 🍾 I hope you have a fabulous time. But it’s YOUR wedding. I’ve never heard of transport being laid on, nor have I ever been to a wedding where the accommodation is paid nor, (or even a free bar, which seems to a be a “thing”). You do what YOU want to do. I chose not to have a wedding video, nor did we have an evening party. Our wedding, our bank account, our choice. Do what makes YOU happy, and the people who want to celebrate with you, will be there.

DH and I paid equal hotel accomodation for bride and grooms side. I also arranged lifts/paid for taxis from close family / friend’s hotels to the venue. If you have 45 guests a minibus would be cheaper and allow them to get the party started a bit earlier (you could lay out prosecco & plastic champagne cups inside!)

Went to a wedding on an evening invite a couple of years ago and a few of us who lived locally paid for our own minibus, yes it would have been nice but in no way expected. We were there to celebrate their day not doing them a favour. They paid for food, venue, champagne.