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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with ds childminder

42 replies

cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 18:51

My ds 2yrs childminder leaves him to sleep for 3 hrs or more in the afternoon. I've asked her to wake him after 1.5hrs & always when it's after 3.30pm.

I've explained that when he sleeps 3hrs or more he doesn't sleep at night & is then tired the next day & then sleeps at his childcare etc....

Today I went to pick him up & she said she couldn't wake him as he was sooo tired so I went into the bedroom & just got him out of his bed.

Why can't she just do as we ask?

OP posts:
ALMummy · 14/02/2008 18:53

Because it is easier for her if he is asleep. Dont know what advice to give you though but I can see why it irritates you. I am pretty obsessive about DD sleep routine for the very same reason. YANBU.

MrsDandOllie · 14/02/2008 18:54

YANBU
She should do as you ask. I'd re-iterate your point and say that you really feel strongly about it.
If she continues to ignore you (through her own selfishness I expect - its easier for her to get paid to look after a sleeping child than an awake one!!) then I'd start looking for alternative care.

RubySlippers · 14/02/2008 18:55

if it affects his night time sleep, then YANBU

Sunshinemummy · 14/02/2008 18:55

Agree she should follow your wishes. Nursery wake DS after an hour at my request, despite the fact that he would sleep longer if allowed.

Twiglett · 14/02/2008 18:55

well I think she should do what you ask

but I have never found it ever makes a difference how long they sleep during the day and how long they'll sleep at night, and am always amazed when people say things like this .. my two sometimes used to sleep till 5 .. yes 5 .. and still bedtime at 7 and slept through

never wake a sleeping babe .. that's what I reckon

KatyMac · 14/02/2008 18:56

I agree with you

But as childminders we are told that the children should be allowed to sleep until they wake

I know it's daft - but she is being what the government considers a good childminder

Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 18:57

it does effect his sleep plus when he's at home he'll just have a 20 min nap or a quiet play. On monday he slept nearly 4hrs!! & was in bed about 10.30 - so it just gets into a circle of less sleep in the night & more sleep in the day

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 18:59

if he needs the sleep then of course &é I'm surprised by the let them sleep until they wake!!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 14/02/2008 18:59

Katy, sorry but as far as I am concerned I work for the parents not the government! If a parent wants my mindee not to sleep after a certain time, then thats what I do.

YANBU.

mistlethrush · 14/02/2008 19:01

Twiglett - I think that we must be the lucky ones as DS is also like that - recently has had up to 3hrs nap in the afternoon (2.10) and still goes to bed fine and doesn't wake up any earlier. If anything, bedtime etc goes much better if he's had a good nap, so he could even get to bed earlier. I also have asked nursery to ensure that he goes through for a nap at lunchtime as many of the other children in the group he is in no longer have a sleep (they are very good re this).

Cupsoftea - I think that your cm is definitely out of order - its one thing if its a one-off, the child is under-the-weather, or if they are not aware of the parent's wishes: but in your case when you have specifically asked that your ds is woken after 1.5hrs due to night-time sleeping issues, this routine should definitely be upheld.

hertsnessex · 14/02/2008 19:02

YANBU at all. i would have to say something to her - let her know what he is being like at night etc, she may realise then.

x

Twiglett · 14/02/2008 19:02

but why was he in bed at 10.30 though? surely bedtime is the same time no matter what?

FAQ · 14/02/2008 19:03

all 3 of my DS are like Twigs - if they sleep in the day they'll still sleep at night/

Sunshinemummy · 14/02/2008 19:03

The sleep thing definitely made a difference with DS. He sleeps much better and for longer only having an hour during the day.

Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 19:04

it's now the 3rd time I'm explaining to her. Will talk to her again tomorrow . It's hard for me to organise bath & bed with my other little ones when ds is ready to play

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 19:05

twig - he's full of beans, playing in bed - not sleeping.

OP posts:
Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 19:06

bathtime now......

OP posts:
posieflump · 14/02/2008 19:07

I would tell her that you no longer wanted him put down for a npa and that he can just nap in the pushchair or car seat. That will sort the problem as she'll want to carry him in

posieflump · 14/02/2008 19:08

actually if it's the 3rd time of asking her I would get another childminder tbh

MaureenMLove · 14/02/2008 19:11

I never let any of mindees sleep past 3pm, even if their parents haven't said anything.

KatyMac · 14/02/2008 19:13

If you have a diary for your child - just pop a note in under tomorrow's date

bossybritches · 14/02/2008 19:13

Ditto Maureen!

FAQ · 14/02/2008 20:05

Maureen - why not? What if you have a toddler/baby (presuming you "mind" that age) who doesn't go to bed until 8pm? Would they not get rather tired!

Original poster
cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 20:12

Will write down out of bed before 3.30 & no napping after 3.30

just gets to me I've told her this already but putting it in writing should make sure she understands.

will look into other options as well

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 14/02/2008 20:19

Well then, I would assume that a parent woould tell me so, but generally parents are happy of their lo's are ready for dinner and bed, when they've been at work all day!