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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with ds childminder

42 replies

cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 18:51

My ds 2yrs childminder leaves him to sleep for 3 hrs or more in the afternoon. I've asked her to wake him after 1.5hrs & always when it's after 3.30pm.

I've explained that when he sleeps 3hrs or more he doesn't sleep at night & is then tired the next day & then sleeps at his childcare etc....

Today I went to pick him up & she said she couldn't wake him as he was sooo tired so I went into the bedroom & just got him out of his bed.

Why can't she just do as we ask?

OP posts:

smeeinit · 14/02/2008 20:28

how long over the 1.5 hours had your ds been sleeping today?

she should definatly be doing as you requested.
talk to her again.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 14/02/2008 23:00

he slept around 3hrs so double!!

OP posts:

mistlethrush · 15/02/2008 21:50

No, if that's no good for you and your lo, and you made it clear this morning that you don't want that length of nap there needs ot be an ultimatum - you will not let ds sleep for more than 1.5hrs or I will consider that you are in breach of your contract... Either that, or you may have lost your faith in your cm anyway and look for alterntive options...

Best of luck

vixma · 15/02/2008 21:58

As a childminder myself what you ask should be done unless the childminder gives you good enough reason. If it is messing arond with bedtimes that is not good for your child so i think you need to have a good talk with the childminder.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 15/02/2008 22:14

i'm a c/m - i will do as the parents ask regarding nap-time - this is part of being a good c/m - sometimes i feel they should sleep longer but that is not my decision - my ds would not sleep at bedtime if he slept too long in the afternoon - i think your c/m is letting him sleep so she get's an easy afternoon

greyskythinker · 15/02/2008 22:16

It's really not good that your CM is ignoring what your wishes are.

It pisses me off to have to pay someone to look after a sleeping child (Previous nanny used to spend 3+ hrs texting friends when my DD was asleep), but I am also a great believer in letting children sleep for as long as possible without artificially waking them up. It is so vital for helping their little brains to form, (I read somewhere that children's brains do most of their development during sleep)and I always think when mine are sleeping more during the day that it is a 'growing day'(either that or they are sick).

Easy for me to say though, because no matter how long mine slept for during the day, it didn't impact on their night's sleep.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 15/02/2008 22:16

some c/m's do think they know better than the parents - be strong, stand your ground and if she still doesn't listen change your c/m

vInTaGeVioLeT · 15/02/2008 22:19

i cant believe it pisses you off to pay someone to look after a sleepin child greysky it's not like we are free to do what we choose when they are napping!

Stopfighting · 15/02/2008 22:25

She's out of order, and if she has already shown herself to be untrustworthy, not to mention lazy and inconsiderate I would have serious concerns about using her full stop.

greyskythinker · 15/02/2008 22:32

Vin,
All in the past now as nanny has left, but yes, it did piss me off, to regularly come home from work to find nanny sitting on sofa watching TV and texting mates, when there was laundry to be done, toys to be tidied up etc and DD was sleeping for 3 hrs. So yes, in these particular circumstances, said nanny was doing what she chose. Not a blanket criticism ('scuse the pun) of all CM / nannies in any way.

I would have to start in to do these things once I got back from work. My problem for not dealing with the issue assertively enough, but still pissed me off.

Hulababy · 15/02/2008 22:37

YANBU.

Once DD got to about 20 months old or so, thn it would make a big difference to her night time sleeping if she slept too long in the day, which got worse the older she got.

Your CM should be doing as you asked.

vInTaGeVioLeT · 15/02/2008 22:40

greysky - bloody lazy nanny

Original poster

cupsoftea · 17/02/2008 00:28

I spoke to her & I repeated that ds shouldn't sleep past 3.30pm and not more than 1.5-2hrs. She just said ok as though I was giving her new info! and also that it broke her heart to wake a sleeping child!!! Another mum arrived so she hurried off to deal with her.

I'll see how it goes. I'll pick ds up earlier next week to check on this.

OP posts:

ShinyDysonHereICome · 17/02/2008 00:32

UNder the Birth to Three Matters framework she should be following every child's individual routine, not her own.

I would expect her to offer advice and suggestions of course, but unless a parent's routine involved an element of bad practice there is no way she should not be adhering to your wishes.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 17/02/2008 00:35

thanks for the info shiney - makes sense to follow childs routine. It was getting to the sleep more & more at cm & less & less at home.

OP posts:

Mummywannabe · 17/02/2008 10:08

i think 3 hours in excessive, when he goes to childminder does he have to get up earlier? If so then perhaps he is extra tired, and if you turned up and he was screaming cause tired i'm guessing you wouldn't be happy? Just trying to see it from another point of view. I work in a nursery and if Ofsted were in and we woke a baby i know they would not be impressed (by baby i mean 9 mths ish) but we do stir the older ones after a period to ensure parents don't have a problem in the evening.

Original poster

cupsoftea · 17/02/2008 20:15

wannabe - absolutely - If he's tired and really needing to sleep then of course he should sleep. It was just that he was having too much sleep & groggy with it. 3 hrs plus is just too much of a nap for my 2yr old.

OP posts:

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