Married life

[lonelymamof4]

Few years ago now my partner use to call me a fat bitch, lazy so on so on
After a brief break up. It never happened again until today

Yes I am fat yes I am lazy. Is this normal in a marriage to point out your flaws in an argument

Married 6 years

Never EVER acceptable to call you that I’d be long gone the first time!

Not in my experience. Married 20 years, been with DH for 30. He never has, and never would speak to me like that. Or me to him.

Not in a respectful one, no it's not normal. Would you accept anyone else talking to you like that?

No that isn't right.

We jokingly call each other greedy bastards if either of us have finished off all the crisps or biscuits or whatever.

But fat and lazy in an argument is horrid! I hate the word bitch too, it's such a hateful word.

No, it’s not normal to be verbally abused in a marriage.

Omg please tell me you don't think it's acceptable to ever call anyone fat and lazy!

Would you call someone that? Why not?

Because it's cruel. Your husband is horrible.

That's a form of abuse which should never be normalised.

It's normal to have gripes, but even in the toughest times with my husband, he has never swore or insulted me. I think that's disrespectful.

Time to make it a permanent break up.

Nope. Not normal at all. That is someone who is supposed to love you. No matter how angry I was, I don't think I could sink to insults about someone's body.

I’m sure you know it’s not or you wouldn’t be asking. He sounds horrible and you don’t have to put up with it. Make the next break up a permanent one. You’ll be much less lonely without someone verbally abusing you.

No, that’s abuse.

I'm married to a women
She hasn't done this since 2018
Problem is she will take my child with her the one she carried and leave the three I carried
Something she's always threatened me with

I've been married 25 years and together for 27.My husband has never called me one curse word in all of these years.
Even if we argue, he has never done that or insulted me because we respect each other.
I've never done that to him either.

That's 100% abusive and manipulative.
I could never live that way.

are you not on the birth certificate for the child too? or have you formally adopted her?

My dh has never said an unkind word to me and me to him, we have far much respect for one another.

I'm on the birth certificate

She has left the house without any children and now messaged me like she's gonna do something stupid

I've locked all doors and I'm ignoring her

No it's not normal. I experienced similar, but without the threat of children being taken. I can really vividly replay all the insults and swearing in my mind whenever I like, and even often when I'd rather not. It's no way to live. If you are both on the birth certificate I don't think it will be easy for her to take your child away, after all, men never carry children and they manage to get access in courts.

Look after yourself and your four lovely children, sending you strength and courage.

Why on earth did you get back with her?

Call 999 NOW if you think she is going to do something dangerous (to herself or to you).

My ex husband stood and berated me at the check out in Tescos .... because I had bought the wrong bags for the shopping. It was the defining moment of me realising how unhappy he was, how unhappy I was and how much it was over.

Kindness in a loving relationship is so important. Doesn't mean you won't argue or snipe at each other occasionally but that kind of language is just unacceptable.

When choosing a partner one of the things I believe one must consider is how the potential partner fights/quarrels.

I can't communicate with people who use swear words for example.

If ever you are unsure just think would she speak like this to one of her colleagues or friends?

If not then you know it’s completely unreasonable behaviour because she’s meant to like and respect you more than her co-workers.

She sounds extremely abusive and this relationship is not good for the children or you.

Are you both on all of the children’s birth certificate?

So she calls you names, degrades you and threatens you by using your children as pawns. She's abusive op. Sorry but this is not acceptable in any type of health positive relationship. Time to get rid.

Classic controlling behaviour. Prepare for the tears, I can't live without you please forgive me script. She's a classic abuser