What time does your 15/16 yo have to be home?

UndertheCedartree · 2023-04-10T19:51:10+00:00

I ask my almost 16yo DS to be home by 10pm. His best friend (a girl, if it makes a difference) has to be home by 7pm. I just wondered what other people do and what the rationale is?

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 10/04/2023 20:54

10.30pm, I have boys too. If they were girls I can't see it being any different. 7pm seems early for that age.

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 10/04/2023 20:56

7pm is early for that age. My DD is younger but she has to be in at 9pm

myheartmyhead · 10/04/2023 21:05

Almost 15, 9.30

YellowGreenBlue · 10/04/2023 21:08

We live rurally so my 15yo can't get home alone. I'll ask what time she needs picking up, anything up to 10.30/11pm is fine (but it would usually be earlier).

stillherenow · 10/04/2023 21:11

10 as I have to collect her and I’m wanting my bed by then !

Duvetdweller · 10/04/2023 21:13

I don’t really give them a curfew but as they’re normally at someone’s house they tend to be chucked out around 11 and then they all walk home together

redskylight · 10/04/2023 21:13

7pm is very early. Lots of teens have organised clubs/activities that don't start until 7!

We expected 10pm as well, except when there was something like a party where it could be up to midnight.

At this age I also expected to know where they were (at least roughly), who they were with, when they would be home (roughly) and their plan for getting home.
I expected this equally with both DS and DD.

PollyPut · 10/04/2023 21:25

@UndertheCedartree presumably they have GCSEs coming up in a few weeks? That may explain why some parents expect them home earlier - so they can study

PollyPut · 10/04/2023 21:26

The next morning I mean. After a good nights sleep - and knowing they've had a good dinner

JaninaDuszejko · 10/04/2023 21:33

I have teenage DDs. If at a friend's house they don't really have a curfew but are usually phoning for a lift home by 9pm. If outside (in town or e.g. at the beach) they have to be home before it gets dark and so 7pm seems reasonable at this time of year. They have been told they can't walk about after dark and know there are certain areas they can't go.

I think the OP is being rather naïve if she can't see that the parents of daughters have concerns about their DDs being out and about in the evening that she as the mother of a son doesn't have to worry about.

PeonyFairy · 10/04/2023 21:37

JaninaDuszejko · 10/04/2023 21:33

I have teenage DDs. If at a friend's house they don't really have a curfew but are usually phoning for a lift home by 9pm. If outside (in town or e.g. at the beach) they have to be home before it gets dark and so 7pm seems reasonable at this time of year. They have been told they can't walk about after dark and know there are certain areas they can't go.

I think the OP is being rather naïve if she can't see that the parents of daughters have concerns about their DDs being out and about in the evening that she as the mother of a son doesn't have to worry about.

Boys are more at risk of being beaten up. A friend's DS had his front teeth knocked out in an unprovoked attack. So different worries but still very valid.
Mine are older now but as teens they were dropped off and picked up as we live rurally.

ImAGoodPerson · 10/04/2023 21:43

At 16 mine didn't have a curfew but we had to know when he was coming home and we would ensure there were appropriate arrangements for getting home made in advance. I think 10/11 is fine on school nights but early for a weekend.

Tessisme · 10/04/2023 21:48

I like my almost 15yo DS to be home by 9.30 on a school night. On weekends/school holidays I usually ask him to be home by 10.30, with a small amount of flexibility, provided he texts and keeps me informed. We live in a very safe area, but occasionally he is a bus ride away and I give him a nudge to find out what time he intends to get the bus. He usually texts when he gets on the bus.

Eggseggseverywhere · 10/04/2023 21:52

My dd 16 rarely goes anywhere! Ds 14 has to be in for 9. Dd 17 goes to gigs then sleeps out so just whenever they get in.

daffodilandtulip · 10/04/2023 22:10

Do teenagers still go out like this?! My teens are either at organised activities or at home. I wouldn't like to think they were just "out"... I even collect DD on the days she is at college until 5pm because I don't think it's safe for her to walk. (And this is based on actual events, not just perceived fears.)

ClaudiaCustard · 10/04/2023 22:16

My youngest is 16 and he goes out maybe once a fortnight or so to friends. His friends live a couple of miles away so I allow until 11pm / 11.30pm providing I know where he is and I collect him.

ImAGoodPerson · 10/04/2023 22:17

My teens have lots of organised activities but still spend time with friends, mainly at each others houses.

My now 17 yo is often out driving with mates, I hate that as I worry so much about them driving.

Too many teens are babied IMO though so I know I need to let them have reasonable freedom. As a result they are great at letting me know where they are going, if they move on somewhere etc.

Sprinkles21 · 10/04/2023 22:18

My girl is 15 and asd and so vulnerable has to be in 8.30pm and preferably a friend to walk half way with her

Rosebel · 10/04/2023 22:18

My 16 year old has to be in by 10:30 if she has college the next day. On weekends it's a bit more flexible especially if she's at a friend's house.
14 year old to be in by 9:30, although tbf she's usually home earlier than that.
7pm seems OTT for a 15 year old and I can't imagine she's happy about it. DD1s friend has to be in by 8 and I know they are awful rows between her and her parents.

BurntOutGirl · 10/04/2023 22:29

Just turned 16yrs - DS - home by 9.30pm school night

Weekend don't have a curfew really but l expect a rough idea or know where he is staying if with friends. If he's coming home, he organises lifts with mates parents..... although last weekend l collected him at 1.30am as his lift fell through.

He has a tracker on his phone so l can see where he is and can get to him if needed. He messages updates also as l pretend l don't look at his tracker 🤫

WhatFlavourIsIt · 10/04/2023 22:35

On a weekday he needs to be on the last bus which gets him home just before 11. Weekends any time as long as he can get home, if he wants a lift he has to let me know before 9 or he's on his own & I'm having a glass of wine.

LBFseBrom · 10/04/2023 22:39

Long time ago since mine was that age but not too late on school nights; in fairness was more inclined to have people round than go out then. Weekends no curfew but was usually picked up from wherever he went.

Dacadactyl · 10/04/2023 22:42

Depends on what she's up to. If it's a party, then might be midnight (I'd collect her). If cinema or whatever, I'd collect her from a late showing. I wouldn't want her getting public transport too late tbh.

If she's just gone on a walk then usually I'd say 8.30pm at latest in summer, earlier in winter.

Tactica · 10/04/2023 22:42

Do teenagers still go out like this?! My teens are either at organised activities or at home

Same really. My older DC have three groups midweek that mean getting home at 10 pm, so on the other nights, they like to be at home anyway.

They don't really have a friend group that hangs out anywhere after dark tbh, even at friend's houses. It tends to be daytime/weekend meet ups.

UsingChangeofName · 10/04/2023 22:44

Mine never had a specific time.
It would depend what they were doing / where they were / what time it finished / how they were getting home.

No point in setting a 9pm curfew say, if the thing they are at doesn't finish until 9.30/