Page 2 | What time does your 15/16 yo have to be home?

OliveWah · 10/04/2023 23:22

I only have girls, but my 15 (nearly 16) year old has to be home by 8pm if she's walking alone (this has only been since the clocks went forward, we won't let her walk around in the dark on her own past 7pm) or 9pm if she's walking in a group. Alternatively, I'll go and pick her up in the car up to 11pm on Friday or Saturday nights or during school holidays, she's not allowed out that late on a school night!

Hellocatshome · 10/04/2023 23:39

Depends where he is and what day it is. If he needs picking up and its a school night 10pm to get picked up. If he doesnt need picking up and its a school night 10:30. If he needs picking up and its the weekend 11pm if he doesnt need picking up and its the weekend and he is just at his friends house who lives on the same street (normally the case) then midnight as they are usually watching boxing which goes on until late.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:40

PollyPut · 10/04/2023 21:25

@UndertheCedartree presumably they have GCSEs coming up in a few weeks? That may explain why some parents expect them home earlier - so they can study

I believe she likes her to be home before dark so let's her stay out later in the summer.

I think 10 is a reasonable time to be home in general to be able to get a good night's sleep, but my DS knows he can stay later when he doesn't have college the next day as long as he checks it is ok with me.

I also request to know where he is going and who he is with and to let me know when he is on his way home.

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Howmanysleepsnow · 10/04/2023 23:44

Normally 9 from a friend’s house. 8.45 from town (shops open til 8). 10.45ish if at cinema (possibly later depending on when the film ends).

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:44

JaninaDuszejko · 10/04/2023 21:33

I have teenage DDs. If at a friend's house they don't really have a curfew but are usually phoning for a lift home by 9pm. If outside (in town or e.g. at the beach) they have to be home before it gets dark and so 7pm seems reasonable at this time of year. They have been told they can't walk about after dark and know there are certain areas they can't go.

I think the OP is being rather naïve if she can't see that the parents of daughters have concerns about their DDs being out and about in the evening that she as the mother of a son doesn't have to worry about.

I have a DD too. I know that statistically it is young men who are more at risk of violence. However I think I would perhaps feel more protective of my DD, I don't know. I would make sure she was able to look after herself as well as her brother too.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:46

Tessisme · 10/04/2023 21:48

I like my almost 15yo DS to be home by 9.30 on a school night. On weekends/school holidays I usually ask him to be home by 10.30, with a small amount of flexibility, provided he texts and keeps me informed. We live in a very safe area, but occasionally he is a bus ride away and I give him a nudge to find out what time he intends to get the bus. He usually texts when he gets on the bus.

Yes, I check my DS knows times of public transport if he is using it.

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PollyPut · 10/04/2023 23:47

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:40

I believe she likes her to be home before dark so let's her stay out later in the summer.

I think 10 is a reasonable time to be home in general to be able to get a good night's sleep, but my DS knows he can stay later when he doesn't have college the next day as long as he checks it is ok with me.

I also request to know where he is going and who he is with and to let me know when he is on his way home.

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he can stay out until 10pm on a schoolnight / college night? does he not have homework?

In England he would still be at school if he was nearly 16, and would have GCSEs in a few weeks. are you not in England?

JacobsCrackersCheeseFogg · 10/04/2023 23:51

10pm generally. Her dad and I are both shift workers and cannot stay up too late to pick her up. All her friends are within a three mile radius so we just walk up to her mate's house to accompany her home.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:51

daffodilandtulip · 10/04/2023 22:10

Do teenagers still go out like this?! My teens are either at organised activities or at home. I wouldn't like to think they were just "out"... I even collect DD on the days she is at college until 5pm because I don't think it's safe for her to walk. (And this is based on actual events, not just perceived fears.)

Do they not go to their friends houses or a birthday celebration etc? My son does all sorts of things with his friends - fishing, bowling, the gym. He's not out every night or anything but regularly does things. He walks everywhere or gets public transport. I don't feel it is unsafe at his age.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:53

Sprinkles21 · 10/04/2023 22:18

My girl is 15 and asd and so vulnerable has to be in 8.30pm and preferably a friend to walk half way with her

My DS is autistic too. It is an extra thing to think about.

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Oakyloaky · 10/04/2023 23:55

My children never had a curfew . We live in a very safe town in SE . The only rule they had was to call us if stranded or concerned they would be walking home on their own…which never actually happened . All now very independent adults.

JudgeRudy · 10/04/2023 23:56

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 20:51

I ask my almost 16yo DS to be home by 10pm. His best friend (a girl, if it makes a difference) has to be home by 7pm. I just wondered what other people do and what the rationale is?

7 is very early. You've barely eaten your dinner/tea and got changed. I'm assuming she doesn't get to socialise in the week then.
I actually did let my daughter 'hang out' at the park which some parents didn't. I think on school nights it was around 10 but at weekends or if someonewhere specific maybe 11

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 10/04/2023 23:56

BurntOutGirl · 10/04/2023 22:29

Just turned 16yrs - DS - home by 9.30pm school night

Weekend don't have a curfew really but l expect a rough idea or know where he is staying if with friends. If he's coming home, he organises lifts with mates parents..... although last weekend l collected him at 1.30am as his lift fell through.

He has a tracker on his phone so l can see where he is and can get to him if needed. He messages updates also as l pretend l don't look at his tracker 🤫

I don't have a tracker or anything...not sure I'd feel comfortable with that, personally.

But my DS is very reliable at letting me know where he is and keeping in touch.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 11/04/2023 00:05

PollyPut · 10/04/2023 23:47

he can stay out until 10pm on a schoolnight / college night? does he not have homework?

In England he would still be at school if he was nearly 16, and would have GCSEs in a few weeks. are you not in England?

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Yes, we're in England. He's not followed the traditional schooling route, so is at college. I think it's just revision now from college, but his Maths tutor gives him homework every week. He's capable of sorting his own homework/revision out and just because he can stay out til 10 doesn't mean he always does! Some of the time he might be revising or doing homework at a friend's house, though.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 11/04/2023 00:08

JudgeRudy · 10/04/2023 23:56

7 is very early. You've barely eaten your dinner/tea and got changed. I'm assuming she doesn't get to socialise in the week then.
I actually did let my daughter 'hang out' at the park which some parents didn't. I think on school nights it was around 10 but at weekends or if someonewhere specific maybe 11

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They are at college 3 days a week and one is a short day. So she does go out in the week but she has friends over to hers a lot too.

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Maple2023 · 11/04/2023 00:44

I didn't t have one but there were a few rules
Had to give a time I would be home, and couldn't be a minute late
Parents knew vaguely where I was (out with X, going to such a place)
Emergency word in case I needed picking up no questions asked and money for a taxi was always in the house

Different then though as I was out in clubs at 16, and living away at agricultural college by 17

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 11/04/2023 13:07

Maple2023 · 11/04/2023 00:44

I didn't t have one but there were a few rules
Had to give a time I would be home, and couldn't be a minute late
Parents knew vaguely where I was (out with X, going to such a place)
Emergency word in case I needed picking up no questions asked and money for a taxi was always in the house

Different then though as I was out in clubs at 16, and living away at agricultural college by 17

Yeah, I was clubbing then too. Good idea about the taxi money.

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ladyme · 12/04/2023 18:15

We don't really have a curfew as such, play it by ear depending on what she's doing, if I'm picking her up etc.

If she's just hanging about not doing much is prob suggest she comes home at 10ish - but she doesn't often go out in the week TBH, she has long school days