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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suspect my husband?

59 replies

RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:33

I'm confused. My dh sent me two dozen red roses today which was an unprecendented display of affection I have never experienced from him before.
The first bouquet arrived at 7am before he left for work and the second (completely unexpected) at midday.
Odd I thought, but really lovely. Since 12 I've been trying to get hold of him at work to thank him but his phone is switched off which is something he never does.
I've since found out this afternoon that he sent someone else white roses on facebook. OK, they're not real ones, they're facebook flowers but the note on the facebook application says that white is for secrecy.

Confused and a bit distraught at the moment... What would anyone do? Ask him or say nothing?

Am I being unreasonable to suspect something's going on?

OP posts:
Chequers · 14/02/2008 16:35

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littleboo · 14/02/2008 16:35

worrying for you Rainbow. Don't know what to suggest though. Would he know that you found out about the facebook flowers

MrsMattie · 14/02/2008 16:36

Hmmm. That's a bit suss. Talk to him.

FioFio · 14/02/2008 16:37

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NotDoingTheHousework · 14/02/2008 16:38

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grouphug · 14/02/2008 16:38

OMG, do you think the second roses may have been for someone else. I would hide the second lot and when he comes in see if he questions why you didn't get a second bunch. Also how can the white roses be for secrecy can you not see who he sent them too?

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:38

No not thinking he meant to send the oters to someone else. I SO wan to believe it did it to surprise me but now I can't help wondering if there's some sort of over-compensating/guilty reason.

Unless I say something I doubt he'll know I've looked through the history on his facebook mini-feed.

OP posts:
meglet · 14/02/2008 16:39

If he has been daft enough to send flowers on Facebook to someone that isn't you and its on a news feed (ie: you haven't hacked into his account and found it) then I think you should probably mention it. I know I would. I can't think of a good way of saying it though without it possibly causing an almighty argument. Hopefully its innocent, but I would be spooked by it too. x

RubySlippers · 14/02/2008 16:39

maybe his phone is switched off because he is in a meeting/planning something for you etc

it strikes me as sad that you take his gesture as suscpicious

is there more going on?

jellies · 14/02/2008 16:40

Maybe the florist made a mistake sending two bunches, were the cards different?
I wouldn't like the facebook thing?? I found out about my exhusband with a valentines text meant for her but accidently sent to my phone.. so I am always over suspecious!
Good luck

minouminou · 14/02/2008 16:40

deffo hide the 2nd bunch....the delivery company could've confused his billing address (ie your home) with the delivery address (ie, either your home or somewhere else).
hope it's ok.

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:41

I agree he can't win. I so don't want it to be true. I was cheated on by my first husband and have had no reason to suspect anything from this dh until now

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:42

they were from two different online florists
similar message

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NotDoingTheHousework · 14/02/2008 16:44

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grouphug · 14/02/2008 16:44

If you can click on his facebook page again and go into all the females you may suspect you should see on their mini feed if they received flowers???

wannaBe · 14/02/2008 16:45

the two bunches of flowers from two different florists would have me wondering, more than the facebook flowers - that's just virtual crap after all.

what did the cards say?

RubySlippers · 14/02/2008 16:45

don't snoop through his facebook account

TALK to him!

Sorry for shouting but i think not talking and thinking the worst is not helpful

grouphug · 14/02/2008 16:45

hmmm then again I agree with notdoingthehousework facebook is the devil.

scanner · 14/02/2008 16:45

My dh travels to his home city every other week and sometimes more for work. He was supposed to be there tonight, but changed it so that he went last night and back in time to be with me this evening.

All of a sudden I started to worry yesterday that maybe he's seeing someone in this other city and engineered it this was so he could be with both of us on valentines day. There is NO reason for me to suspect this btw. So when he phoned yesterday I just told him how I was feeling and he was v understanding and did all he could to reassure me that he has never and would never look at another woman. I felt so much better asking him, so I'd recommend you do the same. (He also rang me this morning to tell me how much he loves me - ahhh).

PersephoneSnape · 14/02/2008 16:46

you know i would actually, very calmly say thank you for the two bunches - what a lovely suprise. i wouldn't hide them - thats trying to catch him out - I'd be honest and hope that that gives an honest reaction.

and then see what his response is.
would you want to find out of the 2nd bunch were potentially for someone else? - or really would you want to find out like this?

very sad if you do find out today (if there isn't a reasonable explanation.

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:49

One card (eden4flowers) says 'To my darling wife, happy valentine's day, all my hugs and kisses, love you heaps xxxx'

second card (flowersdirect) says 'with all my hugs and kisses, I love you heaps xxxx'

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 14/02/2008 16:50

could he have paniced and forgotten he sent you a bunch, and then re-sent?

wannaBe · 14/02/2008 16:51

no I wouldn't snoop through his facebook either.

but I would ask about the two lots of flowers. and I would do it calmly, without shouting.

FioFio · 14/02/2008 16:51

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meglet · 14/02/2008 16:54

Both messages sound quite innocent so I'm not sure. But it is odd to send 2 bunches . Maybe he tried one web site and it crashed, but the order went through?. Then is a moment of panic he used another web site and tried again.

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