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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suspect my husband?

59 replies

RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:33

I'm confused. My dh sent me two dozen red roses today which was an unprecendented display of affection I have never experienced from him before.
The first bouquet arrived at 7am before he left for work and the second (completely unexpected) at midday.
Odd I thought, but really lovely. Since 12 I've been trying to get hold of him at work to thank him but his phone is switched off which is something he never does.
I've since found out this afternoon that he sent someone else white roses on facebook. OK, they're not real ones, they're facebook flowers but the note on the facebook application says that white is for secrecy.

Confused and a bit distraught at the moment... What would anyone do? Ask him or say nothing?

Am I being unreasonable to suspect something's going on?

OP posts:
wannaBe · 14/02/2008 16:54

there is of course another possibility...

could the other bunch be from someone else? In which case he's the one that might come home and be suspicious...

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:54

I'd like to think he'd ordered one lot and then forgot he did it and hence ordered the second lot.
Short of waiting for the credit card bill to see if one of those transactions included flowers for more than one delivery... I don't know what else to think.

On facebook he sent me red roses half an hour after the other person but deleted it from his minifeed - if there's someone else in his life maybe he doesn't wanr her to see he's sending stuff to me too...

oh I don't know! aaarrrrgghh

I just want this to go away... and to trust him. Sorry but thanks for your help ladies!

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 16:56

no the second lot were definitely from him!
the heaps and the 4 x's is a kind of code between us

OP posts:
littleboo · 14/02/2008 16:57

got to talk to him Rainbow, you'll drive yourself mad else.

morningpaper · 14/02/2008 16:58

I got two lots last year - a mistake from M&S

Florists make mistakes all the time, why on earth should you suspect him because of that? If he's that crap at arranging floral deliveries, believe me, you'd have noticed him having an affair

Re. the Facebook flowers I would just ask - it's public FGS!

Dior · 14/02/2008 16:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 17:00

yes I do have to talk to him - I just have a habit of going nuts at him over innocent things and I'm sure he doesn't deserve the accusations. He's lovely compared to my ex!

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 14/02/2008 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 14/02/2008 17:02

I would not be suspcious

I woudl be really excited about having two bunches of flowers

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 17:02

Nice thought notdoingthehousework - I really hope you're right!

OP posts:
Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 17:03

I was SO excited about the second bouquet - I wish I'd never gone on bl+*$y facebook this afternoon now!

OP posts:
grouphug · 14/02/2008 17:09

Will he freak that you went on there or does he know you know his password etc??

cestlavie · 14/02/2008 17:16

Am I being stupid here, but if he was doing something dodgy would he really send someone flowers publicly on Facebook where everyone can see AND THEN not even bother deleting it from his minifeed? I mean, if I was doing something illicit I'm not sure I'd really publicise it on Facebook!

lucyellensmum · 14/02/2008 17:18

rainbow - i was suspicious about the second bunch until you said about the "code" you have between you of the "love you heaps" and four x's. No man in his right mind would have the same code for two women! Also, if it were something elicit, facebook would be the last place he would put it - its a pretty open book and hardly the place for affairs, imo. I would pull him up on the white flowers though, just see his reaction, probably sent as a joke, the secret being that the recipient wont guess who sent them?

Original poster
RainbowWalker · 14/02/2008 17:21

I wasn't snooping around grouphug - the minifeed is available for anyone to see

OP posts:
grouphug · 14/02/2008 17:27

Oh I thought only the persons account would show if something had been deleted. Reading through all of this I don't think you have anything to worry about.

grouphug · 14/02/2008 17:28

Can I have one of your bunches lol.

VictorianSqualor · 14/02/2008 17:33

It could be that someone sent him flowers, and to recieve them you have to hit all that send to so many friends bollox.

Judy1234 · 14/02/2008 18:38

You just need to thank him nicely for the two bunches and ask why suddenly such generosity and see how he reacts to that.

beeper · 14/02/2008 21:37

FACEBOOK is the invention of the 'DEEVILL'

GreatAuntieWurly · 14/02/2008 21:51

TBH i sent valentines cards and flowers to all of the people on my friends list on facebook.

grouphug · 15/02/2008 07:43

Hope everything went ok and you had a lovely evening.

Chequers · 15/02/2008 09:47

Message withdrawn

NotDoingTheHousework · 15/02/2008 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 15/02/2008 20:05

Yes I've been wondering about this too - how are things?