to buy myself clothes before the kids?

[Nothingtowear35]

Having previously been ok for money, we have recently been through a sudden and very tough patch financially. Long story short, we went from absolutley fine to struggling to put food on the table.

(We're now coming out of it and things should start to improve - we won't be struggling but we still will.have to be careful. There's not a lot of spare cash floating about and with 4 kids, they always need something.)

But during that period of struggling, I had to get creative and try to make money where I could and at one point decided to sell pretty much all my own clothes. I didn't have much clothing anyway because I've always had low self esteem and body issues. But because I'd been ok off before a lot of the clothes I did have were nice labels and I knew i could fetch a few quid on vinted. It helped in the moment and I figured I'd buy new stuff later - tbh I just needed money and I didn't want to turn to pay day loans or anything dodgy. I was also trying to take pressure off dh.

Problem is, I now can't afford to buy myself anything else and I have virtually nothing to wear. Literally.

I have 3 pairs of leggings that are wearing thin and getting holes. I have 1 pair of black maternity joggers that look like Pjs (my baby is nearly 2).
I have 4 tops all very awful and faded and all nursing tops even though I no longer breastfeed.
I have 3 baggy t-shirt I sleep in.
1 pair trainers 1 pair wellies I literally just bought because my feet were getting wet on school run.

That is literally it. Oh and I have 1 coat which I've been hiding under all winter.

I'm not sure what I was thinking to let myself get in such a ridiculous situation. We recently went to a family do for Easter and I was mortified by myself in my black leggings and too tight top (I'm not a slim women so it looked terrible). And I had a few comments (are you alright? you look...tired?)

Not surprising as everyone else was in nice dresses and a bit dolled up so I stuck out like a sore thumb.

My self esteem is just absolutley none existent and I'm so embarrassed of myself. We will have a little bit of money to spend at the end of this month but the kids desperatley need clothing too as its been a long time since we bought anything at all and so i don't think there will be any money left for myself - and even if there is I need a whole new wardrobe of stuff to make myself presentable.

I'm just very overwhelmed and feel really depressed and ugly.

Not even sure where to start. Like I said my self esteem was never very good anyway!! I don't even have a pair of jeans to build an outfit from.

What would you do?

Everything5pounds. As recommended by Martin Lewis. In their sale, lots on there for £2-3. New, often well know labels. I got 5 pairs of trousers for £20 plus postage. Browse and enjoy.

There will be charities local to you that will help you and your family in this situation. Please get in touch with any professional you have contact with - social worker, teacher in your children’s school, any support system you access locally. Please explain the situation and they will put you in touch with a charity who will source these essential items for you and your family. Please don’t feel any embarrassment or shame, they will be discrete, as they will understand and absolutely will not judge. Best wishes to you.

If I were you I'd put an anonymous post on my local Facebook group and list the items wanted. This quite often happens on my local group and the people are then offered lots of outgrown clothes for free.

Also keep an eye on f&f at Tesco they had 25% off recently and do it regularly. Their clothing is fine, even the adult stuff

So let’s say you’ve got £25 each for 5 people, you included.

Then work to that budget. Maybe you only get the jeans and a new top, but it’s a start.

Next month, same again, work out what you can spend on each person, you included, and keep going.

Ask on a local free group, even if you could just get stuff for one or two of the children it would help.

For the kids you’ve got coats listed for all of them, and we’re coming into spring/summer - is it lightweight showerproofs you need, rather than proper coats? I’d save those up to buy in or go and look for a discount at e.g. Mountain Warehouse or whatever.

Get a pair of jeans if you wear them. I'm not small but feel instantly better in my jeans. I wear boyfriend ones from M&S. see if there are any for sale. Check eBay as well as Vinted.

Primark tops can be fine if you are fussy.

With £100, no - you shouldn’t spend it all on you and not the kids if they’re in the same position. And if you’re even lists socks and school tights for them, it sounds like they are. You’ve even got pants on your older son’s list - that has to come before anything for you.

If really depends on who actually needs what. You’ve got coats down for all 4 children - if they haven’t got a wearable coat and that’s making them cold, that’s first, above anything you might need.

Car boot sales are about the cheapest place I’ve found for clothes. As a seller, you can barely give away non-branded children’s clothes.

There’s a sharewear scheme near me - look for similar for free, don’t be too proud. Charity shops in some areas are cheap, Facebook marketplace for bundles. EBay.

I’d get yourself one pair of jeans from one of the above places or if you need to try on, Primark. And one top. Then the rest on the kids. Unless they’re as bad as you - in which case, then first.

Pants and a t shirt to sleep in is cheaper than PJs. With older boy and girl, hand me downs for sleepwear even if trashed.

How old are the children? I definitely agree that Facebook marketplace or charity shops are good options. Also don’t be shy of accepting hand me downs.

Could tops/bottoms for the kids be one set this month and one next? School tights are a waste, it’s sock season.

I would look around local charity shops for yourself or supermarket sales. A midi/maxi dress to wear with your trainers? 1 pair of jeans and a top? A lighter jacket, plimsoles or sandals etc. Aim for one outfit a month but buy to mix and match.

Someone may have covered it but on Vinted if you buy a few item from the same seller they combine postage and some have discount when buying multiple items. I never buy anything without trawling through the other items they have for sale.
Search for what you really need first e.g. leggings then when you find some you may find that person is also selling tops, dresses etc in the same size and yiu can kit yourself out.
Good luck x

People are always swapping children's clothes on my local facebook group, have you had a look on yours? Stuff like baby clothes gets passed around and around.

Jumble sales at local scout halls are also a good shout. Their clothes are approx. 20p - 50p per item. I've got some good brands at jumble sales too. You might not find everything but you'll be surprised!

You should be able to get all of you sorted with a bit of creativity. Ask on your local Facebook mums post with the kids ages - this is really common on my local group and there’s always loads of offers. Most group admins will post anonymously for you if you’re not comfortable posting yourself (but there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in posting yourself). Car boot sales are another good call. Then you can look at what else you need and work out your budget.

Yeah you need an outfit. You can’t wear legging with holes in/that have gone thin in public when it’s too hot to hide behind a coat.
I’d get yourself one pair of jeans and a top for now. Charity shop or primark/Tu. You can wear the jeans with the new top plus the t shirts you have for another month.
Try to get as much as possible as cheap as possible. Car boot/jumble sales are good for kids clothes. Kids clothing swap sounds like a fantastic idea if you’ve got stuff but it’s the wrong sizes.

I really really would try some charity shops. Forget trying to search through Vinted. You'll be able to get some reasonable basics, especially for the kids.

I have had some great stuff from charity shops in the past, including branded stuff very cheaply.

Definitely charity shops and the children's centres (now Family Hubs) have a rail where people donate bits and pieces and you can take them away for free and give back when you're in a position to. I have lots of baby boy stuff up to 18 months and boy's clothes 6-10 if that would help I will send them to you.

Buy yourself some clothes. I find the ladies dresses at George Asda super value and some are really lovely.

Also if you have a local Pass it On FB page that can be a good place to keep an eye on, or you could put out a request. Lots of people would want to help.

I've just tidied some stuff - if you let us know your size I'll send you a link to them and you can pick what you like if they're the right size. I'd gladly share them with you - I recognise where you are and where you've been from my own experience x

How old are your daughters? I might have some spare bits I can send to you x

Also I think Asda have 20% off at the moment.

I think buy yourself one tidy outfit this month to give yourself a lift. Then spend the rest on the kids in order of what they need. Does any one really desperately need school tights at this time of year? Tend to only see socks after Easter round here. Accept that it's going to take time and chipping away at it. Be kind to yourself and take a moment. You got through. Things are looking up. Well done!

Definitely go on local free pages on Facebook. I give all my kids clothes away on them when they outgrow them and often get free bundles in the next size.

I see loads of ladies bundles too.... just keep any items that are suitable then relist the rest.

Have a look for a local childrens clothing exchange, you could get literally everything your children need for free at ours in excellent condition. We also have a local ‘Scrap Store’ that does a monthly welly sale for £1 a pair.