Being told to avoid nursery as long as possible because …

[uioppp]

Of illness?

I want DS to go two afternoons a week before I finish maternity. Firstly I want to do this as I really need a break. Secondly I have a very demanding job and I want to try and deal with any illnesses before I go back to work. Will this strategy work?! Obviously I know they will still pick things up anytime but would it deal with some stuff before I go back to work? Thanks.

When my DS (3 in May) started nursery about 7 months old he was probably sick at least once a month until he was 2..yeah.

The worst months were the back to back concurrent illnesses I think in one month we had a cold, then norovirus then hand foot and mouth it was awful.
Even now you get the odd few months where bugs are running rampant and will just have constant illness e.g flu season.

Dh and i saved about half of our annual leave each to cover and we still had to take the odd emergency day here and there (flexi time to work it back) once we ran out...🙃
So yeah my advice is make sure you have plenty of leave and back up plans as it takes a while for their immune systems to catch up and also nursery is just a breeding ground for bugs anyway.

If you need the break and you can afford it, definitely, definitely go for it. Although a couple of afternoons a week may not be enough to settle in comfortably.

They will catch bugs at nursery and at school. No way of avoiding.

I'd say get them into the 'germ pool' ASAP.

I caught chickenpox, measles and mumps from my older sister the first year she went to infant school. But meant I got all those out of the way before I started, even though must have been hell for my Mum (I would present symptoms exactly two weeks after my sister did, so just as she was getting better, I would be getting worse).

Good luck!

I think it's to try and act superior. Too many women feel like they have to become mummy martyrs.

How dare a mother admit to needing a break and also think about her career. 🙄

I think it depends on your child tbh rather than the setting. My daughter had a crazy runny nose the whole time at nurse ray and caught one bug in 3 years. My son never caught anything. The have never had a single illness their entire life. I think only one raised temperature in 15 years.

@uioppp Also, if your baby is over 1 and if you can afford it then I'd get baby the chicken pox vaccination which is available privately.

My baby is too young yet but I've looked into it because chicken pox isn't always a mild disease but also because it would mean not having to take time out of work for it.

I didn't really have this with either DC, but Jesus the last 8 months have been horrendous. They're 6 and 7 now . Previously excellent attendance reviews are down the pan, ice been referred to the LA as a result, and I'm on a warning at work for my sickness absence.

I never had this despite both my kids going to nursery. No idea why. They eat a good diet but then I imagine do most kids at nursery. So, though it is common, it's not inevitable there will be a string of illnesses.

i did this…used the time to get my hair done and go shopping for new work clothes to make me feel good about going back to work:-)

as others have said….the bugs are a bit relentless but you may as well get a few out of the way before starting back at work to make things a little less stressful in those first couple of weeks.

good luck!

Yet another reason why lockdown was such a shit policy. Children (and adults) have missed exposure to the usual bugs, so their immune systems haven't had chance to develop. That's why they are now getting them all at once.

YABU for not putting the “of illness” in the thread title.

In my experience it won’t work - we are just coming up to a year at nursery and DS is still picking up stuff frequently. It’s only just starting to slow down. Last year was horrendous we had a virus or something every other week for the first four months

You've got to do what's right for you and your family. There's no one answer. Unfortunately illnesses are unpredictable.

My youngest went to a childminder from 13 months and I think was exposed to slightly less germs as a result, as he was mixing with a smaller group of children. He still got pretty regular sniffles and HF&M (joy!) though. But on the whole he has been relatively robust - he's six now.

My youngest had her first cold at a few weeks old, and has had loads more bugs, particularly when she was a baby, before she'd started nursery. We had endless sickness bugs and a few serious enough illnesses to warrant a trip to emergency GP or A&E. Even now it feels like she's always got a cough. She was a toddler in lockdown and so missed a lot of bugs in the 2-3 age range, which I do wonder if had an impact.

Thankfully my work is understanding of illnesses (and now thanks mostly to Covid I do have the opportunity to WFH when the kids are poorly).

Won’t work, my DS is 3 and we’ve had two years of this now. It isn’t often back to back but has been recently and it’s been fucking relentless.

I should maybe add my youngest went to nursery rather than childminder.

I don’t think it makes much difference. My daughter aged 9 went to nursery and is still ill frequently from school.

It's generally believed that kids pick up loads of bugs from nursery, but neither of mine did- my second slightly more than my first, but barely. You may get lucky.

ds started nursery at 8 months old until they went to school and picked up lots of bugs, but it was just a constant stream of cold virus type symptoms, snotty noses or slight cough nothing to keep him off and nothing the nursery felt they had to sent him home for.

He was off with bronchiolitis at around 18 months (hospitalised for 5 days) and chicken pox when he was about 3 (he never caught it the first few times it went around the nursery). Never had D&V, HF&M or any of the other common bugs.

Conversely dniece, roughly the same age, was off with every bug going and her mum ended up becoming a SAHM for a few years as it was unmanageable.

It is possible, but not guaranteed they will be off all the time, think it is just luck if they have a good immune system or not.

It won’t work in my experience! We had a nanny until DD was 4 and she didn’t get sick at all (half day preschool for a year but with strict masking). This year she has been sick every other week. We’ve got about 2/3 of her illnesses. If you really want to avoid illnesses, definitely go with a nanny.

You won’t avoid illness no matter what the strategy I’m afraid! Just part and parcel of being a parent! 🤦‍♀️

I would do it anyway for the socialisation and a gentle start in to a routine of being left. I did the same with my daughter. Just a couple of afternoons a week to begin with before it eventually crept up to full time.
In terms of bugs though, from my experience, she picked up colds and sniffles every 3 months or so and still does at 7 years but has had hardly any time off school with them. Mostly they are minor bugs and it’s not good to keep them off just for a sniffle.

My eldest was very lucky and had barely anything apart from chicken pox, hfm. 9 now and has only had sickness once or twice. My youngest started last year and has been off more than in!