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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited to Easter party

45 replies

Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 17:50

My friends dc and mine have been friends since they were babies, attend all birthday parties, we’re in the same *Mums group etc. I heard off another friend that she had an Easter party for the kids…she never mentioned/invited us. A couple of days before she asked if we wanted to do an egg hunt just her dc and mine, we can’t unfortunately, but no mention of the party.
I am a sensitive soul and need to get over it, but I can’t help wondering why and what the reason is not to include us 🤷🏻‍♀️
Do I sound ridiculous?

OP posts:
GoodChat · 08/04/2023 17:51

Was it the normal moms group that was invited it was it a family thing with a couple of friends?

Blessedbea · 08/04/2023 17:52

maybe your kids have fallen out

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 17:53

Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 17:50

My friends dc and mine have been friends since they were babies, attend all birthday parties, we’re in the same *Mums group etc. I heard off another friend that she had an Easter party for the kids…she never mentioned/invited us. A couple of days before she asked if we wanted to do an egg hunt just her dc and mine, we can’t unfortunately, but no mention of the party.
I am a sensitive soul and need to get over it, but I can’t help wondering why and what the reason is not to include us 🤷🏻‍♀️
Do I sound ridiculous?

You said you weren't available for an Easter egg hunt, why would she think you're available for a party?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2023 17:53

id be confused by that/ if there’s a plausible reason the other mum should have addressed it head on beforehand

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2023 17:54

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 17:53

You said you weren't available for an Easter egg hunt, why would she think you're available for a party?

Show quote history

Because it was a different day?

Newname221 · 08/04/2023 17:54

How old are your kids? It sounds like you met at some sort of baby group? Thing is, when friendships are formed purely on the basis of baby groups, they tend not to last beyond the toddler years.

And no, your children haven’t been friends since they were babies. Children aren’t really capable of making friends before around 3.

GaspingGekko · 08/04/2023 17:54

I would presume that when you said you weren't available she arranged something else instead? Is that possibly what has happened?

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 17:54

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2023 17:54

Because it was a different day?

Show quote history

Was it?

Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 17:59

@ReadersD1gest Yes, a different day. She texted me the day before the party to ask about a hunt for a different day..nothing mentioned about the party

OP posts:
Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:00

@Newname221 Ok.

They’re 5. We saw each other not long ago

OP posts:
musicinspring1 · 08/04/2023 18:03

It sounds like she maybe had limited capacity for the party and so your invite was to the egg hunt instead? I wouldn't read more than that in to it - you were still invited to something and couldn't go. I would try and forget about the party and just enjoy everyone's company at the next thing.

Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:03

@GoodChat That’s the thing, I’m not too sure, one of the friends from our group was invited

OP posts:
JMSA · 08/04/2023 18:03

I'm not going to lie OP, I'd be a bit gutted by this Sad
Do you or your children have beef with anyone in the group? Do your children play unproblematically with the others?
I'm just trying to think of a reason why this might have happened.

DrManhattan · 08/04/2023 18:03

Ask her. And report back.

Leeds2 · 08/04/2023 18:03

Are the DC at different schools? Just wondering if it was a class party, rather than general friends.

CanOfGerms · 08/04/2023 18:05

She probably couldn’t invite everyone she knows to what is probably a small party. Surely we don’t all expect to be invited to everything that everyone we know is holding?

Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:06

@JMSA My dc gets on with everyone, although she does sometimes clash with her dc and her dc clashes with the others too.
If that was the issue though, why would she want them to be together for a hunt but not invited to her party

OP posts:
Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:08

@CanOfGerms No of course not, just that we generally are, I wouldn’t think not to have her if we were doing it, also the friend that went is a newer friend, maybe she just prefers her and that’s obviously fine.

OP posts:
Newname221 · 08/04/2023 18:10

Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:00

@Newname221 Ok.

They’re 5. We saw each other not long ago

But I’m right about them being friends from baby group?

When my daughter was 5, she started to have a good idea about who her friends were and have an opinion on who she wanted to invite. It’s completely normal, and you can’t just expect children to remain friends forever because their mums so happened to go to the same baby group.

Presumably your child is already at school, or due to start soon? They will naturally make their own friends, organically, and these friendships of convenience will generally slip away. Now obviously some children may stay friends with their “baby group” friends; but this will be the exception rather than the rule.

My daughter isn’t friends with any of my friends children. They will happily play together when my friends and I meet up; but she won’t ask to hang out with them in the way that she does with her school friends.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 18:11

Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 17:59

@ReadersD1gest Yes, a different day. She texted me the day before the party to ask about a hunt for a different day..nothing mentioned about the party

Oh, I misunderstood. Sorry.

Original poster
Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:19

@Newname221 Of course but we generally all do these things together, I suppose it depends if all the others from the group were invited
I don’t know, probably am being too sensitive but keep questioning why

OP posts:
SittingNextToIt · 08/04/2023 18:21

DrManhattan · 08/04/2023 18:03

Ask her. And report back.

Jesus Christ. Some people have no lives but to manufacture and feed off Mumsnet drama.

Newname221 · 08/04/2023 18:26

Thefullmoonmademedoit · 08/04/2023 18:19

@Newname221 Of course but we generally all do these things together, I suppose it depends if all the others from the group were invited
I don’t know, probably am being too sensitive but keep questioning why

Even if the others from the group are invited; it could just be that the child considers the other children “friends” and your child “mums friends kid” due to having different interests/personalities etc.

Now personally as a parent I wouldn’t let my kid exclude one person - but I do give her autonomy over who she invites to her parties.

Viviennemary · 08/04/2023 18:29

She probably couldnt invite everyone so arranged something different for you and you declined. How many went to the party?

GloryBees · 08/04/2023 18:29

There are many reasons she could have a party and not invite you. But to be honest the fact you are posting this on mumsnet, suggests you are pretty needy and not confident, so it is sadly, perfectly possible that is why. Equally it might be an oversight. I’m not sure how you think this thread is really going to help you?