Not invited to Easter party

[Thefullmoonmademedoit]

My friends dc and mine have been friends since they were babies, attend all birthday parties, we’re in the same *Mums group etc. I heard off another friend that she had an Easter party for the kids…she never mentioned/invited us. A couple of days before she asked if we wanted to do an egg hunt just her dc and mine, we can’t unfortunately, but no mention of the party.
I am a sensitive soul and need to get over it, but I can’t help wondering why and what the reason is not to include us 🤷🏻‍♀️
Do I sound ridiculous?

I’m not sure how you think this thread is really going to help you?

That's how chat forums operate surely?

I understand why you are upset.

I had a similar situation recently. My DS goes to a very small school. All the kids have grown up together since baby and toddler group and the mums are a big group of friends who see each other frequently. One of them recently got married and I was the only one from
our group not invited to the hen night. That hurt a lot.

You won’t know why you weren’t invited unless you ask her directly (people will tell you to, but not many people would actually do that in real life). So chances are you aren’t as close as you thought and try not to take it personally.

Could it be a problem with your DH/DP? Rather than a you and DC problem?

Is she closer to that friend or might they have a family connection? If it's not the whole group and you weren't singled out I wouldn't worry.

What sort of party was is? Was there a meal for the adults? I'm single and I find this sometimes upsets the dynamics. Maybe her husband gets on with other friend's OH etc. It's unusual she's having a party and an Easter Egg hunt. I can only conclude that the party was aimed at the adults too...maybe 8 couples?

I can't really fit more than six kids and their associated parents in my house... it starts to get very crowded and chaotic. That's 2-3 families only, when siblings are also accounted for. So we do tend to offer multiple invitations and a "party" in our house would just be a glorified playdate. Definitely no more special than an egg hunt. Maybe your friend is the same?

Birthday parties are the only big events for us (hall/soft play) and even those are presently mostly taken over by school friends due to the trend for whole class parties.

I’ve done this…
Halloween party (same age), didn’t invite one child who had been making some of the others cry. I had seen this happen ++ Bit they’re 5 so you know they will change. Knew it had potential to make the party stressful for all. So has this child over separately and did all the activities with them, took them out and had them for 4 hours instead of 2.

Christmas sleepover (age 9/10), big fall out at school. So had one child separately for a whole day instead.

I’d hate for anyone to feel excluded 🙁

It might just have been space.
Or having 2 events to look forward to instead of just one…?

I wouldn’t over think it. If you can’t make the egg hunt, propose a different day to do something, maybe even a weekend after Easter.

@GloryBees So you wouldn’t be friends with someone just because they weren’t that confident? Seems a bit harsh…what if they’re kind, supportive, funny, interesting etc 🤷🏻‍♀️

God, that's a bit harsh!

She invited you to egg hunt so obviously no issue spending time with you or any clash with the kids.

I suspect party was a different group. Perhaps the friend who mentioned has the wrong end of stick and not invited/invited themselves. Perhaps it is the same as the egg hunt you were asked about first and time has then changed. Maybe it is some sort of locally organised party that your friend and the other mum both happen to be going to seperately then another one decided to join.

Try not to overthink it unless there are other reasons to think this friend would deliberately exclude you.

Lol

@ReadersD1gest Right?! 😅

Yeh i would be offended too!

I'd say it was something like what @Ellie1015 suggested. Could it have been more of a play date but because it's the Easter holidays there might have been extra chocolate and treats and just more of a festive feeling to it all and not actually a planned party. She may have had a few around for a play date and asked to meet you for the egg hunt.

Do your DC go to the same school? They might have wanted their school friends round.

I'd take from this that she has asked you to do a specific thing, just you and her - so she definitely likes you and enjoys your company.
Maybe she asked her child to pick say 5 friends for the party at home and at the moment she asked the top 5 picks did not include your child. So she organised something else for you and her to do instead.
I wouldn't try and second guess why you weren't invited. If you're friends and otherwise haven't picked up on any strains, then there's probably no significant explanation here. Just accept sometimes you will be invited and sometimes not. It's the same with kids parties. If this is your first/oldest child you will have this to come too!

She probably only had space a for a certain few. I'd be gutted but what can you do? Take a few days and try and focus on the positive.

We have at least 30 kids that we semi-regularly do something with; baby friends, family same age, old nursery, activity group, and a couple of school groups. They would not fit in the house at one time to all do something together, but sometimes it's nice to mix up groups who have similar interests. Your friend is arranging activities with you, that's nice, it doesn't mean you should expect to go to every activity they arrange, that would be hugely unreasonable. If you're at a loose end then invite others to an activity at your house.

No matter how annoying the phrase but it is true

'All this'

I have no I idea who was invited to what in my baby groups, I got along with people and we did some stuff together, they were very nice people but I was too busy raising a baby to worry about drama of any of this

U r overthinking it, Mayb she asked the child and they don’t want yr child to go. Kids fall out and are best friends the next day.