To be upset I don’t look pregnant

[Pregnantpityparty]

I’m six months, and I don’t look pregnant. I just look fat. I was fat before I got pregnant and I just look like I’ve gained a bit of weight. You wouldn’t look at me and think I’m giving birth in less than 3 months! Maternity clothes don’t fit, and I’m feeling horrible. I really wanted to have a ‘nice’ pregnancy with pretty maternity clothes and I just look awful.

I had this with my first, you could pop quite soon at 7-9 months.

I'm sorry you're feeling down about it.

I think I have popped but because the rest of me is so vast it doesn’t look out of proportion. I just look fat. I mean I AM fat but I hoped I’d look pregnant.

I just looked fat until I was about 8 months. Because I'm the cursed apple shape, I just looked like I'd had too many pies rather than a lovely neat bump. Yanbu, it's annoying.

Please dont let this ruin your enjoyment. This may be the only time you are pregnant. Xxx

I would be upset also, apparently this my mum with me and my siblings, she never looked pregnant as she gained weight everywhere and just looked fat

Sorry you feel like this however I think you should embrace the way you are and be happy. Sounds awful but I have just had a miscarriage and I would be happy just to be pregnant.

The reason people have pregnancy bumps is because the skin has to stretch because of limited excess. If you're overweight it makes sense there's an already excess so it'll be much later in pregnancy that your skin needs to stretch to accommodate baby's growth.

I think you have to get back on a positive mindset. Are you eating healthily and getting any exercise? I did pregnancy yoga and that was honestly a godsend for physical and mental health.

I get why you feel this way and sorry you do. But your body is doing the same utterly amazing thing that every other pregnant body is doing.

As well as yoga I thought of things I was grateful for. Every night I would think of three things. It helped keep me positive and thankful despite whatever else I was struggling with.

Good luck OP. You can turn this around.

Don’t let mean people like this get you down OP. The vast majority of us no that it’s perfectly possible to be incredibly greatful and excited to be pregnant, but also experiences other normal feelings too. 6 months is kind of the middle long stretch OP, you are pregnant but not much is going on, sickness has often gone and there’s not a big bump yet, it’s normal to feel like this. Before you no it the bump will pop and you will feel huge and very pregnant again.

That's a lovely reply @SummerHouse

Why are you being so fucking rude?

This is a really shitty response. I'm sure the op is very grateful she's pregnant but it's okay for her to feel shit about how she looks and seek support and comfort for that. To have made this thread in the first place she's probably written it while upset and feeling really crap about herself and your 'floaty dress skipping in the meadow' bullshit is obviously not what she's saying she wants or expected 🙄 and is just minimising her perfectly valid feelings.

Op, I'm overweight and pregnant too and I know what you mean and yes it's painful to feel and comparing yourself with those who have a lovely bump and look really nice (on top of always comparing yourself to those slim people when you're not pregnant as well) and I'm sorry it's something you're struggling with x

OP, be happy with your own body, never mind comparing it with others.
I was a stick thin 8stone 5lbs and looked ridiculous when pregnant - like a snake that had swallowed an ox - the bump dwarfed me completely, I once set fire to it as I had to stand crammed against the stove to reach the back pans! It used to enter rooms before I did, it stuck out so far. Believe me, a bowling ball on two matchsticks is not an elegant look!

Enjoy being pregnant enjoy the little kicks and flutters.

your body is doing amazing things right now.

don’t be so hard on yourself x

I looked like a whale when I was pregnant. I wasn’t even that fat before. But after years of fertility problems and two losses I was just happy to be pregnant. Embrace that OP.

Enjoy ur pregnancy!! Every stage is special

Here come the TTC brigade….
your feelings and emotions on this are completely valid OP just because Lemons et al can’t see past their own difficulties, doesn’t mean you have to shut up and put up. This isn’t the post for you!

sometimes you just need to find the right style/flattering outfits for your body. Styles that I would never wear pre-pregnancy are now my go to so worth taking a trip out and trying different styles x

This is quite common for fat people, they just end up looking fatter and fatter, eventually you will likely look pregnant so I'd try not to worry too much.

Other body shapes also might not always be obviously pregnant at 6 months also and comparison is the thief of joy, instead of focusing what you DON'T have, focus on the incredible miracle growing in your womb, not all women are so blessed.

@Hadtochangeitforthis 'this isn't the post for you'

erm the OP literally posted in AIBU?????

My vote is YABU. My vote is as valid as yours. Are the only people allowed to comment the ones who say YANBU?

No need to be so superior and insulting.

I wouldn't worry OP, I had a similar hang up.
I didn't look pregnant until 6 weeks before giving birth. Up to that point I just looked fat, which considering I'd lost a tonne of weight in order to get pregnant was a total headfcuk. One day my bump just seemed to appear!

I tried my dammed hardest to enjoy the fact I was pregnant and could wear my fat jeans but I get what you mean! So long as baby is healthy - it's all good :)

Your body is doing an incredible thing regardless of how it looks. You should be so proud of every inch of your body right now, you're a gorgeous, strong, life-giving woman!

yanbu - it can be really difficult to find the right outfit for your size, that happened to me. I tried xyz

yabu - remember your body is doing something pretty amazing, so try not to worry about how you look, maybe you’re struggling with your esteem and how you see yourself isn’t actually how you look

thats a good example is it not?

rather than along the lines of I’ve had a miscarriage, I’m having ivf, I’m struggling to conceive, therefore invalidating OP’s feelings that’s he’s come on for support with.

so yeah, less of the superior and insulting posts would be good.

pregnancy can stir up a lot of difficulties and being made to feel guilty for your feelings doesn’t need to be one

Honestly “pretty maternity clothes” exist
only in your imagination 😂

I ended up with “comfortable” being the primary goal with no thought to aesthetic at all.

pregnant women look amazing, but “pretty” is not usually one of the descriptors. You’re swollen, tired, stretched, aching, your joints are falling apart and you need to pee all the time.