To be upset I don’t look pregnant

[Pregnantpityparty]

I’m six months, and I don’t look pregnant. I just look fat. I was fat before I got pregnant and I just look like I’ve gained a bit of weight. You wouldn’t look at me and think I’m giving birth in less than 3 months! Maternity clothes don’t fit, and I’m feeling horrible. I really wanted to have a ‘nice’ pregnancy with pretty maternity clothes and I just look awful.

Yes, I'm thin and although average-height, have quite a long body, so didn't really have much of a bump until about 28 weeks. It literally appeared in a week, I went from 27 weeks with slight period bloat to 28 weeks looking as though I was nearly full-term 🤣

I imagined wafting about ,looking wonderful during my first pregnancy. Sadly I had hyperemesis and looked like someone with anorexia ( weighed 5 stone at 6 months pregnant). It was 30 years ago so anti sickness drugs weren't really given. At 6 months my stomach was totally flat. Some people get to look like a TV/ magazine advert Op but I suspect most people have spots,stretch marks, vomiting, constipation etc,etc and don't look anything like the image they had in their head. At the end you will have a vaby. It's a process and that's the bit that really matters. Good luck xx

Don’t stress about it OP.

In my limited experience, you’re less likely to suffer from stretch marks afterwards compared to the skinnier folk with neat bumps. As pregnancy only last a few months, I know which I’d prefer. 😆

You are basically saying OP should put up and shut up though. Her feelings are as valid as yours, so yes your vote is totally valid, but so are her feelings. She isn’t any less greatful to be pregnant because you are going through IVF. Your struggles and emotions aren’t any more valid than hers. You came here to insult her and make her feel bad for her post, yet are mad someone has done the same to you. Maybe that’s why these posts are better for you to avoid, unless you just enjoy insulting other women who are having a hard time to.

Just given birth 2 days ago and it's my third child and I've honestly never been so slim since having my first 4 years ago. I actually looked pregnant not fat and pudgy and I also have an pear shaped body. Pregnancy can either enhance or hinder your figure, no worries.

Exactly my point…just don’t comment 🤷🏼‍♀️The rest of the responses are brilliant - advice, support. Not judgment and insulting like lemons.

I didn't even look fat. This is slightly outing but I had an emergency five days before DC1 was due and was rushed by DH to A&E. They were about to give me an injection when they asked if I could be pregnant. DH replied yes (I couldn't speak due to anaphylaxis) he then asked when I was due and DH replied, "Saturday!" I saved a fortune in maternity clothes. I was a size 8/10 throughout.

Having a view is a no-no uless it is the same view as 'the majority'
Many posters just want an echo-chamber forum where everyone tells them that they are right and those that disagree are wrong.
For those that have told me here that I am being rude - well all I said was that pregnancy isn't a Laura Ashley fantasy, and that being pregnant should be enough. And that this is a 1st world problem - people are worrying about how to feed their kids/themselves and not looking pregnant is an issue?

No having a view is fine, basically popping on to tell OP she she’s an ungreatful cow for her own feelings about her own body isn’t really a view though, it’s just having a go at someone to tell them their feelings aren’t valid.

You clearly struggle with compassion and empathy. Having worked in perinatal mental health if someone was sharing they were struggling by with their body image our reply wouldn’t be, come on love kids are struggling to feed the kids. We’d offer support, problem solve, help what might appear to some to be a minor problem, stop spiralling into something significant. Because that happens. So we offer support. Not judgement.

I laughed at the Laura Ashley part. That’s true, many of us do. Had you followed up with a bit of support the great, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of a reality check but with out that, it’s just the usual cruel BS that gets slogged around mumsnet each day.

because others don’t have something doesn’t invalidate op and those using that, well it’s just sad really

@NQOTDarling having an opinion is fine, but your first reply was downright bitchy.

Why would you want to be bitchy and mean to someone who already sounds upset?

@Pregnantpityparty OP I am sorry if my post come across like it invalidated your feelings and was insulting to you. I obviously didn't word it very well. I did not, as other posters have claimed, intentionally come here to make you feel bad (irony being people are intentionally trying to make me feel bad for being part of the 'TTC brigade'). My vote is that YABU because in my opinion regardless of how you look your body is doing an AMAZING thing, that in my opinion should be embraced. Worrying about how you look might spoil that. I shouldn't have mentioned my own IVF, I just wanted to mention this as that is why my stance is what it is. I wanted to point out how lucky you are so you might look on the bright side and appreciate your good fortune. Hiding this thread now. From one person going through a difficult time to another, good luck to you and all the best x

Well I understand what OP means. With my first pregnancy I was sent to hospital straight from my GP for urgent assessment and when I got there the receptionist actually asked "Do you know you're at MAU? Main reception is at x" for me to reply "Yes, I'm 8 months pregnant!".

I'm currently around 34 weeks with our second (and last) and still nobody seems to realise that I'm pregnant. Whereas you do see other less pregnant people getting doors held open for them, seats offered etc and just generally treated differently which does sting. We had someone round to give a quote for work on the house last week and chatting about why we wanted it done I mentioned that we'd have a newborn in around 6 weeks, gesturing to my stomach, and he looked rather surprised. YANBU

I was pretty slim when I got pregnant, didn’t show massively til about 30 weeks, then I blew up like a balloon - at the end I was a veritable blimp and could only get in two maternity trousers I had. I’m not sure weight plays a massive part in looking preggers - it’s more how you carry the pregnancy.
Enjoy the experience!!

Can you alter your body language a little? Those rubs on the stomach, back etc that are characteristically 'pregnacy' behaviours. I know I didn't really pop out until about 6/7 months with my first.

I'm due very soon and haven't really got into mat clothes yet. Trousers, leggings and bras yes..but I usually opt for an oversized, relaxed style on top, sometimes but rarely fitted tops. I haven't had to go up a size in anything and still sitting at 12. My boobs have grown massively (3 cup sizes).

I am naturally a curvey, hour glass although short and a b cup.

I just look fat. My face has filled out and my arms have gotten bigger. Think my neck is disappearing. This is baby number two for me and I didn't start to even really look pregnant until 7mths. Just pudgy. Because of my clothing style I haven't done myself any favours. If I wear something fitted I look 'pregnant' but it just isn't me. I look like an overstuffed walking bar fridge. Rectangular and puffy.

I dont know one woman who has ever felt like she looked good pregnant. This will pass as soon as baby comes. Well, with in weeks anyway.

Good luck and congratulations. I'd like to say embrace it but I haven't and it feels shitty. It's normal to feel like this. I'd love to be one of those dainty pregnant ethereal women. Pregnancy isn't fun or glamourous though and every woman feels it differently.

Bumps come in all shapes and sizes OP. I genuinely just looked a bit bloated and chubby until about 8 months when I ‘popped’ - and even then my bump wasn’t particularly big. But it was mine. I did have a few fleeting moments down the line of wishing I had a bigger, smoother bump but I did take solace in the fact that my body was doing this amazing thing growing a baby. My little one was safe and growing and that was all that mattered.

Pregnancy is a tough road, your body is under all sorts of strain and many ways is no longer your own. Be kind to yourself and try and reframe it as your body is a safe, comfortable first home for your little one regardless of how it looks.

I think there’s no upset here at all about being pregnant, it’s being fat that’s hard. Normally when I get fat I go on a diet but that’s obviously hard to do when pregnant!

My heart goes out to those of you with fertility problems but that’s really not what I’m about here. I can’t feel good about myself because someone else has problems conceiving.