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Original poster

To change out my bridesmaid dress in the evening?

62 replies

Tinkerbellone · 08/04/2023 00:25

I haven't been to a wedding in years. So not sure of wedding dos and don'ts. Wedding in May. I'm 50 and am a bridesmaid for my friend's daughter. Her daughter is absolutely lovely.

The dress is ok. Not very flattering. Neither is the footwear.

Is it very wrong to get changed into a different outfit for the evening do?

I'm happy to stay in the dress but would like to get out of the dress if possible- when I've asked various friends I've had mixed responses from; 'you can't do that!' To 'everyone will be drunk and won't care anyway'

I'm not sure whether to ask the bride & I don't want to ask the bride yet if opinions are overwhelmingly'no'.

In case it matters - the bridesmaids have paid for their own dress, shoes, hair, nails everything. Based on preferences of the bride.

The opinions of you lovely people would be gratefully received!! Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:06

Thepossibility · 08/04/2023 03:04

I wouldn't mention it to the bride beforehand as she might get annoyed. Tension is high before the wedding trying to get everything perfect. I'd just change and tell her something on the dress broke/ there was a spill or something. She probably won't even notice later in the evening.

This. Do not announce before.

You aren't a servant or a character in a stage play; members of the wedding party theoretically are the most honoured guests. And guests may wear whatever they wish.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:10

Awrite · 08/04/2023 07:31

Interesting responses. Seems to be - do as you please, never mind anyone else.

I wouldn't have thought to change out of my BM dress. None of the BM dresses were ever that flattering on me. Or comfortable.

My MIL changed at my wedding. Not something I would do personally. Can't really explain why. I suspect it's about respect.

Respect for what???

Expecting grown women to parade around all day in matching frocks they don't like and aren't comfortable in is the disrespectful mindset.

The whole matchy bridesmaid thing is so low class to begin with.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:14

BridieConvert · 08/04/2023 09:51

I wouldn't. I've been a bridesmaid twice and it never even occurred to me to change out of my dress. The shoes did get removed though and I just danced barefoot. I'd have found it really odd if one of my bridesmaids changed out of their dress - I can't quite put my finger on why but I wouldn't be happy about it

So it was ok for you to get comfortable but not the OP?

Barefoot dancing, how classy.

MissingMoominMamma · 08/04/2023 12:18

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:14

So it was ok for you to get comfortable but not the OP?

Barefoot dancing, how classy.

Show quote history

Barefoot dancing is fine!!

BridieConvert · 08/04/2023 13:31

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:14

So it was ok for you to get comfortable but not the OP?

Barefoot dancing, how classy.

Show quote history

Removing shoes/changing into flat shoes is absolutely fine. Changing out of a bridesmaids dress is very different.

barefoot dancing is fine, that’s a strange thing to get snobby about.

BridieConvert · 08/04/2023 13:32

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:14

So it was ok for you to get comfortable but not the OP?

Barefoot dancing, how classy.

Show quote history

Also she didn’t say the dress was uncomfortable, she said it was unflattering, not really the same is it?

Awrite · 08/04/2023 23:18

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:10

Respect for what???

Expecting grown women to parade around all day in matching frocks they don't like and aren't comfortable in is the disrespectful mindset.

The whole matchy bridesmaid thing is so low class to begin with.

Show quote history

And insinuating that I am 'low class' is what? High class? Respectful?

Oh the irony.

Nicecow · 09/04/2023 03:48

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/04/2023 12:10

Respect for what???

Expecting grown women to parade around all day in matching frocks they don't like and aren't comfortable in is the disrespectful mindset.

The whole matchy bridesmaid thing is so low class to begin with.

Show quote history

You do realise no one has to be a bridesmaid? You sound like a fun sponge 😑

adultdds · 09/04/2023 04:56

I wouldn't. It's one night, it's the brides day and she has chosen this dress. Very rude.

RockhoppersLovePoppers · 09/04/2023 06:49

SNWannabe · 08/04/2023 05:51

I changed as a BM (isn’t being a 50 year old “bridesmaid” a little odd though?) as I was breastfeeding so had a two piece outfit in the bridal scheme colours to change into.

Mine was 65 years old.

Original poster
Tinkerbellone · 09/04/2023 09:25

Thank you for all your replies. I will take a change of outfit in case & see how the evening goes. A few weeks yet! x

OP posts:
Daffodilwoman · 09/04/2023 09:31

Don’t tell her just do it.
She can’t stop you you have bought the dress.

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