to ask if anyone has procrastinated so much mucking around on MN that they

[TheProcrastinatorer]

lost their job or their home or had some other catasatrophe?

This is me right now. I should be working. I can't because I'm caught in some MN proscratinating worm hole.

It is possible to chain myself up so I don't log on here. Deleting my account won't help as I'll just lurk....

@BertieBotts thank you so much for all that information, and for taking the time to reply to me. It really is like a paralysis. I get tunnel vision with something I’m doing, like I might start reading something really boring like a long list of references to an academic paper even though I have no reason to but I can’t stop, even if I need the loo/food/drink or even if I’ve planned to watch something on TV. Suddenly it’s like it’s really interesting 😳

I was writing about a tropical disease recently and while researching I looked up information on tyres as water storage, and somehow found myself down a rabbit hole of tyre recycling procedure in the UK, reading an entire bloody 12 page document on it even though it was far less interesting than what I was supposed to be researching. It absolutely feels like there’s paralysis in so many areas of my functioning.

I’ve got the paralysis now. I planned to go for a walk about an hour ago, but I’m procrastinating in favour of doing little bits of admin and now MN - anything to have to stop me from having to get myself sorted to go out 🤦‍♀️

I’ve haven’t really read up much on ADHD so I’ll have a good look at those resources. Just even knowing there’s a term for this ‘paralysis’ is such a relief.

@AliceOlive @rickandmorts

@BertieBotts I resonate so so much with your post! Once I got a parking fine for 60 quid that went up to £100 if it wasn't paid after 2 weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to pay it so it went up. I emailed the company and said it had been delivered to my neighbour so I hadn't received it and they agreed to reduce the fine back down to £60 if I paid within a week. I still couldn't bring myself to pay it so it went back up to £100. Like what the actual fuck, I was so mad at myself!

The same thing also happens most years with my tax return and I get fined for sending it in late. I'm not even well off so it makes it all more annoying and so much self loathing. I have no idea why I can't just do things on time

I think this is about fear. It's about being scared of dealing with the task because it's unpleasant. I think this what a lot of procrastinating is about actually. It's not about just delaying or being lazy.

It is about being scared of something. Exactly what that is will depend on the task and the person. It maybe because you are scared of failing at the task or it not being perfectly done, because you are scared of facing up to it (like how much tax you are going to pay), because you are scared of the feelings the task will provoke in you. Lots of different things it could be.

I'm like you in that I do tend to get it done eventually but the period of proscratination gives me alot of self loathing too. It causes much mental anguish. Understanding it was about fear did help a bit but I still procrastinate hugely.

This blog on procrastination is quite funny if you've not seen it but is very accurate describes me completely. I have to wait for the panic monster
https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

I love Wait But Why and I am about 90% sure the writer has ADHD but seems to be massively in denial about it going by some interviews I've heard him give. He's very intelligent and that combination often masks so it doesn't get picked up at school. But you can tell by that website that he does the exact same spiralling off into detailed research! I love that he decides to put it into a blog format and let other people read it.

For another resource on procrastination search "How to ADHD wall of awful" on youtube. I liked that explanation too and it has some practical tips.

@TokyoStories you're welcome, your post really spoke to me for some reason! I find with these kinds of things sometimes it's even just noticing that it's happening and putting a name to it which can help. Sometimes I can trick myself out of it by saying "I'll just go and get a drink, but I'll come right back" and then having actually disengaged from whatever stimulating activity, I can go ... you know what, I don't really need to answer that MN thread ... that person on FB can probably find that info without me (etc). That doesn't work if I'm in bed. But when I'm in bed sometimes making a plan for the day helps instead.

I can relate to all of this and just done the test and it also shows I could have ADHD. The thing though I used to be up to date with stuff and used to be mega organised.

This would be consistent with a different cause, possibly something like perimenopause and/or environmental stress. One of the diagnostic factors for ADHD is that it should be something that's always been there in some form or another. For me for example, I can trace these same feelings and behaviours back to around year 6 at school, and even earlier there are signs although they were more subtle. The reason that many people only realise they have ADHD in adulthood is more that the difficulties start to outpace the demands of life. So people will say things like I've always been disorganised but now it's really causing problems, or I always did my essays the night before, but now I have children I can't do that.

I’ve always just assumed I’m bone idle. How do you tell the difference?

That's what assessment is for if I understand correctly - but also, I think there is a difference between making a conscious choice not to do something because you can't be bothered, like I don't care about wearing make up or doing my hair so I just don't, and it doesn't bother me, occasionally I glimpse myself compared to others and think eek I'm such a scruff, but mostly I'm happy with how I look, and would not find the extra expense/time/effort involved in being more "glam" worth it - compared with things that I really feel shit about and want to do differently, but I just can't seem to make myself no matter what motivational tricks I try to use. I'm lazy about hair and make up, but with the other stuff I'm fighting an impairment.

Need to take DC to bed but will get back to other replies.

@SeulementUneFois since you have an appointment, I'd just ask outright in the session: Do you think this is ADHD or anxiety? Why? What makes you think that? What would be different if it was the other way? Would anxiety meds work for an ADHD presentation? Would ADHD meds work for anxiety? What if it's both at once? What happens if the medication/treament doesn't help?

I know easier said than done, sometimes I get white coat syndrome and just sort of mumble my way through the appointment and leave cursing myself, but sometimes, especially if the doctor seems approachable, I've had really interesting and illuminating conversations about it!

At the end of the day, you want effective treatment so if they think it's more likely to be anxiety, it might be worth trying the anti-anxiety treatments first. You can always push to re-explore ADHD if anxiety treatment turns out not to help. There is some overlap between the two conditions, and they can also occur together, perhaps as a kind of overcompensation. I'll try to explain.

As I understand it, anxiety is characterised by a need for control and certainty, which are natural things to seek, in anxiety it causes a problem because the desire for control and certainty overshoots what is possible or practical and therefore interferes with normal life.

The overlap there is that ADHD can make you feel like you do not have control over things that you should have control over, because of poor impulse control, working memory and task initiation/follow through and you cannot be certain about things because memory/learning/attention is also impaired. So, like with anxiety, there is a gap between "things I can control" and "things I should be able to control" it's just the difference is that the two things are happening in different places on the scale of "things that could possibly ever be controlled". I just made a little diagram that might explain it better (or might be totally confusing - let me know!)

I resonate so much with some of these posts, I used to spend all my time on Facebook until I started HAVING to use is for my work. Now I avoid fb like the plague and spend hours on here instead. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, never open my post because just find it too stressful. I go from one crazy scheme to another just making my life more and more of a mess every time ( failed degree, own business, too may pets etc etc) wish I knew what the solution was because I hate myself and my life so much. I feel sorry for my kids because I am a terrible parent.

@BertieBotts

The reason that many people only realise they have ADHD in adulthood is more that the difficulties start to outpace the demands of life. So people will say things like I've always been disorganised but now it's really causing problems, or I always did my essays the night before, but now I have children I can't do that.

For me it became debilitating when I started university as a mature student. I’ve had to defer so many times. I’m in my final year now and barely coping, even though I know I’m capable. It was the same at school except that I managed to wing everything with minimal effort. Not so easy to do now! As a child I avoided doing all of the work even though I wanted to. I wasn’t lazy and I didn’t even have anything better to do, I just couldn’t seem to manage to pick up the books and focus. Much like now, I would sit down to study with the best intentions but couldn’t manage more than a sentence or two at a time. And back then the internet wasn’t even a thing so I can’t blame that.

I’ve just submitted a literature review on a disease for university. Most of my assignments are a series of questions and answers which I find much more manageable so I was dreading this one. Researching, planning and writing the wall of text was absolutely horrendous for me. I don’t know how to explain it.. it’s not that it was hard - I was comfortable with the topic - it’s just so painful. At times it felt physically unbearable, like there were ants crawling in my brain. I was in tears for some of it. The only way I managed it was staying up all night for three consecutive nights prior to the deadline and lots of caffeine.

It really gets me down because I wonder how on earth I’m going to manage to forge a career in this field when I’m like this. I feel like giving up, even though it’s what I want to do.

When I was at school in the 90s there was a boy in my class with ADHD. He was very hyperactive and disruptive and referred to as ‘naughty’. That’s the image of ADHD I carried for years and never imagined it could apply to reserved and polite me, until recently. And now it’s like, oh, maybe this all makes sense. I really hope a diagnosis can help to change my life for the better.

Having said how difficult I find writing essays, it’s ironic I’ve just written one. Oops! Sorry. It’s just SO helpful to get all this stuff out among people who get it.

Yes, I got medication and therapy and combined works well. It's not a cure but I'm more able to get things done.
I'm better at reminding myself and catching myself when I get sidetracked.

@someoneisalwaysintheloo Thank you for answering. is the medication for Adhd? my dd is waiting for this to happen now she has a diagnosis.

And has it Improved the ocd?

"Last year I was put on Wellbutrin for depression and the difference in my concentration was remarkable. Unfortunately I developed fairly debilitating tinnitus while on it though which didn’t go away. I had to come off it as I was worried it could become permanent (there are lawsuits for this reason). I was gutted."

@Tokyo - same. Also diagnosed with adult ADHD, also went on Wellbutrin, also had to come off it because of the tinnitus (and hair loss). I tried Concerta after that but got so depressed and bleak each night as the effects wore off that I couldn't bear it. Has anyone found a medication that works for them?

It's effexor xr. Works amazingly for OCD. I had to try several different things to get it right for both the ADHD and OCD.

If you're at university, see if you can speak to the accommodations / learning support team. There might be a faster route to diagnosis and if not they should be able to put something in place to support you anyway.

@BertieBotts

Can say thank you so so much for your post. I'll read and think about it very carefully!
(As an aside re white coat syndrome - I'm foreign and my entire small family are doctors at home. Also the system there is different with it being much easier to see a or multiple specialists. So I've had the opposite of white coat syndrome to start with! However since I've emigrated to the British isles I've seen that there is such a lot of a god like view of doctors by people in general, and that it's so hard to see a specialist (see my 1.5 year wait - and that's after my previous GP tried a lot of others who were all full) - so now I'm completely terrified at the "possible" gatekeeping...))

Anyway thank you again so so much!

@Bk1000 handhold

I really really sympathize, especially with hating oneself for something that "should definitely" be in one's own control...
(probably being weird, but please DM me if you want to commiserate...)

I get white coat syndrome

This doesn't mean just getting intimidated by or nervous in the presence of doctors. It is a very specific thing also known as white coat hypertension which means that blood pressure is raised by anxiety of being in a clinic and having blood pressure raised as a result.

If you have this and know about it, if you are having your blood pressure taken you should tell the clinician taking it as normally they will take it two or three times as the patient can calm down/become acclimatised.

Please don't go round saying you have white coat syndrome to mean you mumble at appointments because drs make you nervous as you could be seriously misunderstood. The reason I have posted this is also to avoid misunderstanding by others.

It's a very specific thing meaning high blood pressure caused by anxiety due to being in a medical/clinical/doctor situation.

They offer funding for an assessment so I’ll call them on Monday to arrange it. I don’t know why I’ve put it off for so long oh wait I do

Even if it doesn’t open the door to medication stop this stage it might mean they’re able to provide me with extra support in other ways.

To medication at this stage*

Amazing result!
Thank you.

First step, change your phone to black and white.

It looks really boring then you have to find something else to do.

Hopefully It’s something you should be doing! All the best x

How do you do that?

on iPhone go into:

settings
accessibility
Display and text size

then
colour filters
greyscale

welcome to a boring phone !!

That’s exciting thank you!!

Oh my goodness! This is odd. But I don’t know if it’s too exciting for me 😂 as it’s so different.

This is such an interesting thread, and I can heartily relate to many PPs. Two of my three DC and my mum were diagnosed with ADHD last year, and I think I might have it too. I find it excruciatingly hard to knuckle down to the boring but important stuff, and my school reports were full of "longtermlurker is a daydreamer / is inconsistent with her work / is not fulfilling her potential" etc etc. I was academically very able, but definitely haven't "succeeded" in life to the degree that was expected of me (I'm a psychotherapist, and I do a good job, but only feel able to work part-time "safely").

I've deleted all social media (used to spend far too much time on Facebook), but obviously spend far too much time on here now. It feels (figuratively) like I'm fighting to stand up/walk on a planet with extra strong gravity, or that I'm magnetically repelled from the boring and important stuff.

I've been toying with the idea of being assessed, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't be regarded as sufficiently debilitating for me. I'm never late (but I'm obsessive about punctuality, and very rigid/anxious in this respect), I'm the opposite of impulsive (again, to the point of being rigid and quite limited in terms of spontaneity). My work allows me to only be "on" for 50 mins at a time, and I also find it very interesting, which means I'm positively " magnetised" towards the task in hand. And if I do daydream in sessions, my reveries are usually helpful. So, I'd probably struggle to convince anyone that my ADHD traits are causing sufficiently debilitating issues!

I'm procrastinating now. Its a lovely day & I've still had a pj day. Gone & added my own thread now, so I've got even more procrastinating to do 🙄

Oh sorry, you're right, I don't mean blood pressure related. I thought that it meant that sense of feeling intimidated as well, I'll stop using it like that then!

@LongTermLurker surely being able to cope only with part time rather than full time work is a pretty significant impairment?