to ask if anyone has procrastinated so much mucking around on MN that they

[TheProcrastinatorer]

lost their job or their home or had some other catasatrophe?

This is me right now. I should be working. I can't because I'm caught in some MN proscratinating worm hole.

It is possible to chain myself up so I don't log on here. Deleting my account won't help as I'll just lurk....

@BertieBotts that’s basically the screening questionnaire I was given when they were deciding whether to refer me. I scored very highly I’ve been on the waiting list for two years but I think I’m looking at another couple before seeing someone. I’m really struggling.

Last year I was put on Wellbutrin for depression and the difference in my concentration was remarkable. Unfortunately I developed fairly debilitating tinnitus while on it though which didn’t go away. I had to come off it as I was worried it could become permanent (there are lawsuits for this reason). I was gutted.

This will probably sound daft but my procrastination is so extreme that I procrastinate scratching an itch or feeding myself. It’s not even because I’m on my phone/doing something else, I can just be lying in bed and somehow can’t make my body do the thing my brain wants me to do. I don’t even know if this is a symptom of ADHD or if I’m just messed up beyond repair 😳

Interesting. My childhood was horrible so I either escaped into a fantasy world in my mind or played endlessly on my game gear or the mega drive. I think it may have done something to my developing brain…

Worth looking into with a therapist’s help if you had a difficult childhood, as it’s not just discovering the thoughts and feelings, it’s learning how to build self-trust and process them too.

It can also be about avoiding good feelings too - e.g. it might feel safer to stay small and not achieve, because if you do achieve you might have been a threat to or target of the members of the family with more fragile egos.

Or it could feel easier to avoid responsibility or stepping into your power because it can feel scary initially to realise you have the power to shape your life.

Just see what comes up for you next time you attempt to to your work/tasks, and take note of any feelings/thoughts - just observe - the more you notice the more you’ll find.

Oh goodness; this is me! My DH occasionally gets cross and tells me off for not doing "normal" things.

Perhaps I need to try harder to be "normal".

I’ve had more therapy than I’d care to admit. I developed the amazing ability of cutting off all my feelings from a young age so I’m completely out of touch with ‘what comes up’. Honestly nothing really comes up, at least nothing deep. I have no conscious sense of being afraid of achievement or responsibility. I seem to live in a state of near-permanent detachment. I spent years meditating and my mind does wander, but usually to things I’m stressed about (like not completing tasks and impending deadlines!)

After my last lot of therapy I did start making a conscious effort to try to release my emotions through movement, which manifest as tension in my body and illness rather than as thoughts and feelings as such. It’s helped with feeling able to relax a bit more but not with getting stuff done unfortunately.

I am terrible at focusing so I have experimented with the following techniques:

timers, use your phone clock or even the nighttime/do not disturb mode and also screen time limits so you allow time to browse but have a hard stop time

pomodoro technique so you do a task in a time period and then have a quick break

complete cold turkey not allowing any internet or social media for personal use during the work day, not even at lunchtime

having a “done” list so I can see how much I have done and if it’s not very much I know I have to knuckle down and get on with things

There’s loads on the internet about procrastinating (somewhat ironically)

It’s quite addictive I came on here to find out specific information about conception. And now I am reading all the cheating/ relationship threads lol

The Swiss cheese technique: nibble away at a small bit.

@TokyoStories That is definitely a symptom of ADHD. It even has a (colloqiual/internet) name - ADHD paralysis. If you google this you will find many stories of other people who feel like they have been stuck in bed. Sometimes I wait so long to get up that I fall asleep again! And I have held my wee so often for so long that I managed to cause problems with my kidneys (do not recommend).

Since you have such a long wait I'd try to use the time productively and try learning as much as you can about ADHD. Russell Barkley is one of the world experts about it and he says there are four pillars of managing ADHD / four steps to do in order.

First is evaluation/diagnosis, because you want to rule out other causes and see if there are any comorbidities. By the way, many of the things to rule out are things that your GP can run blood tests for - you could ask to have blood tests for the standard/common vitamin deficiencies as well as thyroid levels. You could have a sleep study done if you feel excessively tired. That then only really leaves other psychiatric disorders, and since many of these have symptom overlap with ADHD it's possible that ADHD techniques could work to help manage those too. So yes stay on the waiting list, and it would be ideal to do this step first, but I honestly don't think that it would be terrible just to go with the assumption that it's likely to be ADHD and move onto the second.

Second is education - well you can learn about ADHD all on your own, you don't necessarily need a diagnosis for this. Good resources that I've found:

You Mean I'm Not Crazy, Stupid or Lazy? (Book) - good for an initial primer.
Russell Barkley's talk on youtube - 30 essential things. It's broken into sections or you can listen to it on a playlist.
The Reddit ADHD forums
MN ADHD chat threads - try Neurodiverse MNers
How to ADHD youtube channel - lots of practical tips
Podcast "A Slob Comes Clean" - cleaning advice for messy people. It's the only habit-forming advice that I've found to work for ADHD. (Works for habits other than cleaning too).
ADHD Essentials podcast

For more depth:
ADDitude magazine and their Experts podcast
Russell Barkley's book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD
The ADHD Report - a newsletter about ADHD which ran from 1993 until this year. You can download all the back issues for free. I'd just start with the most recent and go back until you get bored/forget.
ADHD Rewired podcast
Search Russell Barkley's name on any podcast service and find interviews

Note I don't really recommend any social media content for ADHD (except for How To ADHD) - that's a whole other post but in general, long form content is MUCH better for learning anything. Short form (instagram, tiktok, twitter, reels) is generally too short to include any nuance so you get confusing exaggeration or oversimplification going on.

If you struggle to stay focused on audio (I do) try listening while your body is occupied in a non-language activity. I can listen to podcasts while I run, walk, commute, fold/sort laundry, wipe down surfaces, but not when I'm sorting outgrown clothes into size piles, playing with DC or decluttering. (I think because I'm making decisions in those situations). This is a nice little hack actually because I want to do more of the exercise or cleaning to get to the next podcast!

The third step is medication, which you'd need a diagnosis for, and the fourth step is making concrete changes in your environment and trying to modify your behaviour. That is because making changes is easier and more likely to be successful with medication. But honestly, you'll find that you naturally start to make some changes just by reading and learning - and I think this is a nice, organic way to do things. Then when you do get to the point of diagnosis, if they do think it is ADHD and you can try medication, it might be that it makes those tools you've relied on even better, or it might be that it helps you get started with new ones.

I was diagnosed in 2016 but I'm only starting medication now, so I've had a lot of time to learn and I really think this was a good thing. (Though, honestly, I don't think you need 7 years!) I thought that it was considered best to start medication ASAP after diagnosis, but I feel like what I know now has really helped temper my expectations of medication and fine tune what I really hope that it will help me with. It also means that I've been trying to arrange my life for the last 7 years in ways which align and work with ADHD, and I have a much better idea of where my real strengths and weaknesses are - if I look back to where I was back then, how I was struggling and what I was struggling with, I've grown and changed SO much and while there are still moments of ADHD paralysis (I said to 4yo DS "let's go into town" at 11:30 this morning and we only ended up standing and waiting for the bus by 13.30, having skipped lunch and everyone slightly manic except for 1yo DS who fell asleep!) I don't spiral about this kind of thing any more and I have lots of techniques to work around things.

⬆️Really interesting post

Im going to send those links to my newly diagnosed dd.

I like A slob comes clean and recognise a lot of the behaviours.

i could have written this. It has got a bit better but it makes life so fucking hard. I doubt it is true re private assessments so check that out.

@BertieBotts I resonate so so much with your post! Once I got a parking fine for 60 quid that went up to £100 if it wasn't paid after 2 weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to pay it so it went up. I emailed the company and said it had been delivered to my neighbour so I hadn't received it and they agreed to reduce the fine back down to £60 if I paid within a week. I still couldn't bring myself to pay it so it went back up to £100. Like what the actual fuck, I was so mad at myself!

The same thing also happens most years with my tax return and I get fined for sending it in late. I'm not even well off so it makes it all more annoying and so much self loathing. I have no idea why I can't just do things on time 😩.

This too!! Sometimes I will procrastinate having a drink when there's one right next to me and I'm really thirsty 😳 like within arms reach. Or I will really need a wee and leave it until the last possible moment to go.

I’m procrastinating going to bed. It’s ridiculous. I’m tired but not moving. Ill often fall asleep on the chair. In the morning I’ll either be too tired to get up or I’ll delay getting up!

Seriously, so now if you occasionally procrastinate you might have ADHD 🙄

I think the suggestion is to look at other behaviours too. It’s a useful discussion

No.

If you procrastinate to the point that it severely impairs your life, in at least 2 domains (e.g. home and social settings, or work and relationships, or school and parenting) alongside other symptoms, that's the diagnosis criteria for ADHD.

Not "procrastinating occasionally". Nobody said that.

Yes OP and like others I have diagnosed ADHD. Right now I'm procrastinating on a really interesting piece of work which I will actually enjoy 🤦‍♀️ I just need to get my backside in the chair, get started and then hyperfocus will save me but it's an exhausting way to live. I'm going to have to delete MN from my phone again because it's too much temptation!

OP

I think I've adult ADHD (waiting 1.5 years to see someone...).

Anyway.
This week my partner was away. I've been on MN and reddit every evening till respectively 2am, 1am, 12:30 am, 11:30 pm last night.
Unfortunately can't avoid waking at 6 or earlier despite much later alarm.
Hence I've been completely shattered since the 2am night and getting worse as not catching up.
Every morning feeling like death I tell myself I'll go to bed at 10 (or earlier).
I've not done anything or anything useful, chores, or a hobby I wanted to start in the evenings. Just back on the internet.
Of course since I'm shattered I've WFH and done the same being online during work.
I hate myself

@BertieBotts

The psychiatrist that I've been waiting 1.5 years for has in his appointment confirmation a blurb as to how it may not be adhd rather anxiety.
I'm so effing fearful (anxious! Ha) that that's what I'll be fobbed off with - presumably because they're afraid people are drug seeking, don't want Europe to follow US with the preponderance of Adderall use etc . .
What then? What the heck do I do? I'm in 40s and it's getting worse every year. I'm literally destroying my own life.

I used to do this! Both parking fines and taxes. (But taxes were owed to me, so I never paid a fine for filing late.)

A friend who seemed very put together and responsible told me he did it, too and it was because he was angry at having to deal with these things, especially the taxes, so he avoided them.

Could you be having those feelings, too?

I've failed a couple uni classes due to procrastination and mucking around online.

Turns out I have ADHD and OCD. Was diagnosed in my late 40s!

It's often overlooked in women as it presents itself differently and we're socialized to mask well.

Might be something to look into.

Omg this is me. I’ve always just assumed I’m bone idle. How do you tell the difference?

Did you get medication and did it help?

I do think that having easy access to the internet is a big issue for me.

I can relate to all of this and just done the test and it also shows I could have ADHD. The thing though I used to be up to date with stuff and used to be mega organised. So I suspect it has something to do with working full time as a single mum, working from home as opposed to in an office where people look over your shoulder, having too much on, general life and getting older, being more tired and just wanting some peace 🤷🏻‍♀️
if I was working part-time and had a nice partner and a cleaner and a working car and generally much less on, I suspect I wouldn’t be so restless and paralysed and behind with everything…